Childfree

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

It depends on what day of the week you catch me.

Generally I think I don't want kids, ever. Maybe once or twice a month I wish I was a father. My wife says she wants kids... but no plans on having them.

I'm kind of the same way. I really wanted nothing to do with kids until my niece was born. I totally fell in love with her when her personality started emerging, though. By the time she was 1 year old she was running around finding necklaces and hairbows for you to put on her. She changed shoes like 12 times a day. She would bring you nail polish for you to paint her nails. All of this before she could even talk. I call her my little Carrie Bradshaw . Carlee is just such an amazingly cool kid. She wakes up in the morning with the biggest smile, and goes to bed with that same smile. She's just plain fun to be around (she's nearly 3 now). I really wish she were my own. On top of that, my Brother's such a piece of crap... not only does he not deserve my niece, but he's going to expose her to such terrible things... and relegate her to an awful childhood and probably an awful life. It's crossed my mind so many times the past few years that I wish it were me who'd had a child and not him (tho since I'm gay, that's not exactly possible!).

But then I sober up and realize how I'd be a terrible Dad. I'm horribly selfish. And I wouldn't want to sacrifice certain aspects of my life to have a kid. Not to mention, most small children are not as fun AND low maintenance as my niece. Add to the fact my other half absolutely does NOT want kids, so no kids will be in my future. And that's probably for the best, to be honest.

[CreepingDeath]

Originally Posted by GypsySorcerer

Well, I believe "never say never," but I really do not think I want children for numerous reasons. I do not feel I need children to be fulfilled. I also don't think everyone is meant to be a parent.

This.


A day doesn't go by without a c0-worker, a family member, or someone in one of my college classes asking me why I don't have kids. 26 is looked at as a dried up old maid, I guess. My biological clock can keep on tick, tick, ticking. I don't want a little demon spawn.

[1sttimelongtime]

I've found that the quickest way to stop people from asking you if you want kids is to say "Hell no, I HATE kids". I've used it with great success, even though I dont really hate kids. But I sure as hell dont want one. I'm too selfish. I drive by an elementary school every day, and see parents sitting around watching their children playing baseball or whatever. I cant imagine anything I'd rather do less.

[MissLadyLoki]

I want a kid one of these days, but honestly, 20 is a tad young

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by 1sttimelongtime

I've found that the quickest way to stop people from asking you if you want kids is to say "Hell no, I HATE kids". I've used it with great success, even though I dont really hate kids. But I sure as hell dont want one. I'm too selfish. I drive by an elementary school every day, and see parents sitting around watching their children playing baseball or whatever. I cant imagine anything I'd rather do less.

I agree. I do hate BADLY behaved kids, and love well behaved kids.
In my 20's, I wanted kids. 30's said bye bye to that. I like spending my money on swimming pools, guitars, and my travels. Just one kid, would end all of that. So fukc that!

And I regularly get guessed 10-15 years younger than I am, and I know it's due to the fact that I've not had to deal with all the stress of raising kids. I've always gotten my rest, and have a pretty stress free life.

[michelle2677]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

I'm usually facetious. I can understand why people want to see blood of their own. But, really, isn't the capacity to love unconditionally extended to those not of your making as well? Why is it more complex?

i don't think it's exactly fair for someone to tell anyone not to have children, especially a man telling a woman. men don't have biological clocks. and by that i mean, when you're 80 you can change your mind and say "oh, i was wrong. i think it's ok to have my own child" and skiddle-y bop you go. i think it's a personal decision within 2 people in a relationship (or a single parent, whatever your choice). i commend people who adopt, but i commend people who adopt and don't have to even more. that is a totally selfless thing to do, but i don't think people who can and choose to have their own child are a$$holes.

Originally Posted by bluefox4000

Mick

i just watched this for the first time last night!!!

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

Parents who feel the need to publicise and promote every breath that their children take are just that kind of people. It's not an issue with everyone who has kids, it's just what some people are like. If they weren't pushing pictures of their kids' scraped knees at you, they'd be pushing something else at you - while other parents don't feel that need. It's hardly a rational reason to bash parents in general. It's the same as a minority of gay people who feel they have to remind you on a regular basis that they're gay, or people who can't seem to stop alluding to the fact that they're wealthy. It's just personality types, attention-seekers. If they p**s you off, ignore them, as someone said

or people who feel the need to shove pics of their dog in your face i think it's because they think their child/dog/gayness/wealthiness/fabulousness/etc is so awesome that they think you'll love it too. most of my friends know not to push their children on me because i'm a self-proclaimed child-hater not really, but...


i don't think it's fair to tell a 15 year old child she WILL change her mind when she gets older because no one can predict the future. but i don't think it's offensive to say "you MAY change your mind when you get older". it's like saying "you MAY crash your car while texting and driving" or "you MAY get the pukies and the runnies if you drink expired milk". women aren't here to push out babies, but it is a general fact that as women get older, that need gets stronger and stronger. when i was 15 i didn't want kids either. hell, when i was 25 i didn't want kids. but things change.

[bretonbanquet]

Originally Posted by michelle2677

or people who feel the need to shove pics of their dog in your face i think it's because they think their child/dog/gayness/wealthiness/fabulousness/etc is so awesome that they think you'll love it too. most of my friends know not to push their children on me because i'm a self-proclaimed child-hater not really, but...

Dogs are fine. Who hates dogs? Kids aren't so many people's cup of tea - especially judging by this thread

Originally Posted by michelle2677

i don't think it's fair to tell a 15 year old child she WILL change her mind when she gets older because no one can predict the future. but i don't think it's offensive to say "you MAY change your mind when you get older". it's like saying "you MAY crash your car while texting and driving" or "you MAY get the pukies and the runnies if you drink expired milk". women aren't here to push out babies, but it is a general fact that as women get older, that need gets stronger and stronger. when i was 15 i didn't want kids either. hell, when i was 25 i didn't want kids. but things change.

Truth. Except that if you text and drive, at some point you probably will crash

[McTrouble]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

I agree. I do hate BADLY behaved kids, and love well behaved kids.
In my 20's, I wanted kids. 30's said bye bye to that. I like spending my money on swimming pools, guitars, and my travels. Just one kid, would end all of that. So fukc that!

And I regularly get guessed 10-15 years younger than I am, and I know it's due to the fact that I've not had to deal with all the stress of raising kids. I've always gotten my rest, and have a pretty stress free life.

I am totally on the same wavelength as you on this one.

Me and hubby decided straight after getting married that kids were a no no. We knew we wanted a stress free, no responsibility lifestyle. If you don't have that 24/7 responsibility the years are kinder to you, we have found.

We are lucky to have 6 nieces and nephews and that's enough for us! You can spoil 'em and then give 'em back.

We've had good careers (my husband still does, I was lucky enough to retire a few years ago at 40) and therefore had the money to own our home outright at an early age and to travel the world whilst still young. We still feel like we are in our 20's and have been together for nearly 28 years now.

We have also had the time to devote to each other and not let the romance slide because we've had no worry or tiredness that revolves around kids.

It is very hard for people who love kids to understand but we wouldn't change a thing and for us it was the best decision ever.

[cliffdweller]

Originally Posted by jannieC

The whole "just adopt!" attitude is what I was referring to as being "complex". Babies aren't just dropping from the skies.

And it's really expensive too: 50,000+ in some cases depending on the adoption route you take.

[McTrouble]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

I don't want children. I don't like children. Yet they seem fascinated by me and my breakable things. Cats shall be my future offspring.

Why do they gravitate towards you when you can't abide them? It bugs the hell out of me!

[Fleetwoodmark]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

The world is already an overcrowded place. Children are like pets; if you want one, adopt one. The world is not going to be a better place just because you have added to the gene pool.

I'm sure Hitler said something like that before

[Fleetwoodmark]

Just looking over this thread makes me depressed - I've never seen such a collection of selfishness and self centered out pourings - You don't want kids because you don't want to deviate any of your money away from yourself ?

That's probably the most distasteful thing I've heard in a long time !

[bluefox4000]

What's wrong with not wanting kids. lol. Some.......like myself would just suck as a parents And we're happy not to have those little S**t factories And yes they burn money..truth

Mick

[ButterCookie]

Originally Posted by Fleetwoodmark

Just looking over this thread makes me depressed - I've never seen such a collection of selfishness and self centered out pourings - You don't want kids because you don't want to deviate any of your money away from yourself ?

That's probably the most distasteful thing I've heard in a long time !

While I can understand why it upsets you and do agree that things are selfish in here (I definitely speak for myself, I'm a selfish b*tch, I aint gonna change) surely it's better that we're recognising these traits in ourselves and choosing not to inflict them on children and therefore not being bad parents to said children that we don't want?

[GypsySorcerer]

^^^ Agreed. I do not want children because I think I would be a lousy parent, and I am perfectly happy without them. While my childhood was certainly not bad (and compared to some, it was probably good), I am scared to death I would parent like my mother. I love her, but I don't want to turn into her.