Childfree

markolas · #1 02-18-2011, 11:58 AM

I can't remember the last time I started a topic here.

Anyway, I wondered if there are any "childfree" Ledgies. Not people who don't currently have kids but might want them someday, or people who can't have kids but want them, but people who actively do not want children - ever.

It seems to be a bit of a movement, and some CF folks are more, um...adamant than others. I've been to a couple of CF websites, where people vent about being scolded about it, or looked down on. I haven't experienced much of that, but as a gay man, it's not really expected that I'll have kids.

kak125 · #2 02-18-2011, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markolas

I can't remember the last time I started a topic here.

Anyway, I wondered if there are any "childfree" Ledgies. Not people who don't currently have kids but might want them someday, or people who can't have kids but want them, but people who actively do not want children - ever.

It seems to be a bit of a movement, and some CF folks are more, um...adamant than others. I've been to a couple of CF websites, where people vent about being scolded about it, or looked down on. I haven't experienced much of that, but as a gay man, it's not really expected that I'll have kids.

Yes I am one of those people!! I am 33 now and have never wanted kids. People have told me since I was younger that I would want them someday but I have no desire to have them. I am too selfish and I like my free time and my money. I think its amazing that people have them and want them but for me its just not something I think about. What is annoying is people telling you how selfish you are for not having them. That part I dont get. Who says we have to have kids? Also I always get people trying to convince me to have them which is even more strange. My family used to always bug me about it but I think they are done with that now. Thank goodness!! I do get weird looks from people I just meet when I tell them I dont have kids.

bluefox4000 · #3 02-18-2011, 12:10 PM

Right here. I love kids...but one of my own.....I'll pass. Luckily my Wife feels the same way...So Life's good

Hopefully she won't change her mind.

Mick

ButterCookie · #4 02-18-2011, 12:18 PM

I'm 17 and I know that I don't want kids. Lots and lots of people have said to me "I didn't want them when I was your age but I changed my mind." Like kak125, I'm selfish too. Also, if I get the career I'm aiming and studying for, there will be little enough time in my life for a dog let alone kids.

Can't deal with mess, don't cope well with human excretions be them from the booty, mouth, eyes or nose and do not want to see food I've cooked wasted because they "don't liiiiiiike it".

I do dogs, cats, rabbits, fish, reptiles and anything else with fur or scales

HejiraNYC · #5 02-18-2011, 12:19 PM

The world is already an overcrowded place. Children are like pets; if you want one, adopt one. The world is not going to be a better place just because you have added to the gene pool.

kak125 · #6 02-18-2011, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ButterCookie

I'm 17 and I know that I don't want kids. Lots and lots of people have said to me "I didn't want them when I was your age but I changed my mind." Like kak125, I'm selfish too. Also, if I get the career I'm aiming and studying for, there will be little enough time in my life for a dog let alone kids.

Can't deal with mess, don't cope well with human excretions be them from the booty, mouth, eyes or nose and do not want to see food I've cooked wasted because they "don't liiiiiiike it".

I do dogs, cats, rabbits, fish, reptiles and anything else with fur or scales

yeah i felt the same way you did when i was 18 and havent changed my mind. yeah its so hard to juggle a career let alone adding kids to the mix. i personally dont know how people are able to do it. i have 2 cats and sometimes they feel like having kids, ha ha! thats about as much responsibility as i can handle. i love animals though so much more so then kids. i dont know why but you wont catch me saying look at how cute that baby is and things like that but i tend to go nuts when i see a cat or a dog, lol!!

bluefox4000 · #7 02-18-2011, 12:29 PM

And who needs the extra stress. The worlds stressful enough. I've got my stuffed bears and that's all I need

Mick

GODDESS6 · #8 02-18-2011, 12:32 PM

in my teens & 20's i swore that i would never have kids~ meh, i changed my mind when i turned 30~ i have 1 son & i was lucky to blessed w/ an easy going sweet child~ i don't want anymore tho~ my son is almost 12 & i love just having him~

kak125 · #9 02-18-2011, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluefox4000

And who needs the extra stress. The worlds stressful enough. I've got my stuffed bears and that's all I need

Mick

i hear ya! i dont know how people can deal with it all. just about all my friends have kids and all they do is complain about how they never get 2 minutes to themselves. they are always sick because the kids are sick and they never get to go out or do anything. they also cant sleep in because the kids are up early and they are always poor. that does not sound like fun at all!! i guess i am just amazed that people would want kids so much to be able to put up with all that stuff.

estranged4life · #10 02-18-2011, 12:33 PM

to be honest.

Before Debbie passed away we talked about it, and if we had a child fine...if not fine.

Since we didn't go out of our way to try to because of 'other matters' at the time (bka Debbie's successful battle against cancer), we were happy with our cats (All healthy & fixed) and didn't care about everyone else's opinion of "You need to have children...It's God's gift to you two...blahblahblabbityblah".

The world isn't going to collapse into an event horizon because I'm not a 'Father'.

I know I would make a GOOD FATHER if I were to become one...I know that for a FACT.

jannieC · #11 02-18-2011, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

The world is already an overcrowded place. Children are like pets; if you want one, adopt one. The world is not going to be a better place just because you have added to the gene pool.

Well, it's a bit more complex than that. Hopefully you were being facetious.

I think it's incredibly UNselfish to decide against having children if you don't want them. Really, kids don't need parents that don't want them. Trust me on this one.

jannieC · #12 02-18-2011, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kak125

i hear ya! i dont know how people can deal with it all. just about all my friends have kids and all they do is complain about how they never get 2 minutes to themselves. they are always sick because the kids are sick and they never get to go out or do anything. they also cant sleep in because the kids are up early and they are always poor. that does not sound like fun at all!! i guess i am just amazed that people would want kids so much to be able to put up with all that stuff.

Ha- it's not always like that, though. Raising my daughter is the easiest, most fun thing I've ever done. I get up before she does in the morning and I can't wait for her to get going so I can see her. I hate going to work (even though I love my job) because I miss her. I make the most of every minute with her; we play, laugh, dance, cry, cuddle, and talk. I can have all the time I want to myself, thanks to a husband who loves being a parent as much as I do. See how different it all sounds coming from this point of view?

bretonbanquet · #13 02-18-2011, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

The world is not going to be a better place just because you have added to the gene pool.

That depends on who you are. Good job Mr and Mrs Lennon / Zimmerman / Nicks (!) etc didn't listen to that kind of comment.

For every person who didn't want kids at 20 and never changes their mind, there's someone who turns 35 or 40 and realises that maybe they did want kids after all, and then it's more difficult. Everyone's different - for many people, money and "stuff" are meaningless, and free time can get pretty dull after a while.

HejiraNYC · #14 02-18-2011, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jannieC

Well, it's a bit more complex than that. Hopefully you were being facetious.

I think it's incredibly UNselfish to decide against having children if you don't want them. Really, kids don't need parents that don't want them. Trust me on this one.

I'm usually facetious. I can understand why people want to see blood of their own. But, really, isn't the capacity to love unconditionally extended to those not of your making as well?

Why is it more complex?

kak125 · #15 02-18-2011, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jannieC

Ha- it's not always like that, though. Raising my daughter is the easiest, most fun thing I've ever done. I get up before she does in the morning and I can't wait for her to get going so I can see her. I hate going to work (even though I love my job) because I miss her. I make the most of every minute with her; we play, laugh, dance, cry, cuddle, and talk. I can have all the time I want to myself, thanks to a husband who loves being a parent as much as I do. See how different it all sounds coming from this point of view?

aww thats nice! i guess i never hear anybody talk like that about their kids. i know they love them and have fun with them but all i ever hear is the complaining and whining about how lucky i am that i can go out and do stuff. i think if thats what you want to do in life that's awesome!