Childfree

[markolas]

Originally Posted by kak125

oh my i hear ya there. ugh its like enough already. i dont care that your kid won his soccer game or that he got a new pair of shoes or that he is tall for his age etc. it drives me nuts!!

Well, stuff like that doesn't bother me much, unless it's excessive. But I have this girl on there that I went to H.S. with, and once she posted multiple photos of her kid's scraped knee. It was really gross. I hid her posts from my feed after that. Another one used to go on and on about her daughter's potty training progress...I ended up de-friending her for unrelated reasons.

I think some parents just don't get that stuff like that grosses people out.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by markolas

Another one used to go on and on about her daughter's potty training progress...I ended up de-friending her for unrelated reasons.

I think some parents just don't get that stuff like that grosses people out.

I announced my daughter's first episode on the throne on FB. She did it with such pizazz that I felt I had to.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by jannieC

My mother commented once on my daughter's height and said something along the lines of, "well, she must get it from my side of the family." We ALL tend to forget that Laney didn't come from my body. She is so much a part of us, it's ridiculous. I think that was a ****ty thing for your aunt to say.

Thanks guys(I wish I knew how to quote multiple ppl, in one response). I've never told anyone that she said that, and it's always bothered me. I'm glad to hear, that I didn't take it the wrong way.
Bitch!



(I typed this, hours ago, got busy, and forgot to hit send)

[mezzoforte]

I've always felt that biological imperative to procreate very strongly. I honestly wish I felt differently--I've invested so much work, my parents so much money in my my education. I love my independence and my studies and wish I didn't have this longing for children. But there we are--Mother Nature is a bitch goddess. In the name of species continuation, she compels men to think about sex every seven seconds and many women to feel unfulfilled without having children.

I've always hated, though, that because a majority of women share my need to procreate and because the image of the "angel of the home" has proven a persistent one, we project that drive onto all women. Not that men don't face criticism for choosing not to procreate--they do. But the tone is different with women--there's a perception that women must want children, that the decision not to is probably a temporary one, that those who never have children are less womanly for their choice.
I recently read an interview with Mena Suvari. She's probably a lovely person who didn't mean anything by it, but some of her remarks about having children rubbed me the wrong way. "Everyone wants a child," and, "That's where you really find yourself. That's what's important about life." Obviously this is just one small example, but it perpetuates the widespread idea that the ultimate fulfillment lies in procreation. A slightly insidious message, I think.
Not everyone needs to be a parent, and not everyone should be a parent. When people decide not to, it doesn't make them selfish or their lives more superficial. Far better to consciously decide that parenting is not for you than to become a crappy parent. In fact, I'm deeply jealous of those confident they can feel fulfilled without having children.

[bluefox4000]

Originally Posted by estranged4life

is God Bless George Carlin


His rant reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw and just had to own:

"You May Be a Proud Parent...
But You're Still a F**king Idiot"

LOL. Yea George is a hero and i miss him dearly. Him and Bill Hicks

Mick

[bretonbanquet]

Parents who feel the need to publicise and promote every breath that their children take are just that kind of people. It's not an issue with everyone who has kids, it's just what some people are like. If they weren't pushing pictures of their kids' scraped knees at you, they'd be pushing something else at you - while other parents don't feel that need. It's hardly a rational reason to bash parents in general. It's the same as a minority of gay people who feel they have to remind you on a regular basis that they're gay, or people who can't seem to stop alluding to the fact that they're wealthy. It's just personality types, attention-seekers. If they p**s you off, ignore them, as someone said

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

Parents who feel the need to publicise and promote every breath that their children take are just that kind of people. It's not an issue with everyone who has kids, it's just what some people are like. If they weren't pushing pictures of their kids' scraped knees at you, they'd be pushing something else at you - while other parents don't feel that need. It's hardly a rational reason to bash parents in general. It's the same as a minority of gay people who feel they have to remind you on a regular basis that they're gay, or people who can't seem to stop alluding to the fact that they're wealthy. It's just personality types, attention-seekers. If they p**s you off, ignore them, as someone said

I have a friend (former co-worker) who does this. She and her partner both document every move their child makes on FB and they also have a blog. About their child. While I find it kind of interestingly annoying, I haven't hidden their statuses yet. I think I'm somewhat intrigued by them, actually.

First potty moment aside, I rarely update stuff on my daughter. I post pictures if I take cute ones and that's about it. Just because *I* think she's fascinatingly cute, doesn't mean everyone else does.

[Meowi]

Originally Posted by jannieC

My mother commented once on my daughter's height and said something along the lines of, "well, she must get it from my side of the family." We ALL tend to forget that Laney didn't come from my body. She is so much a part of us, it's ridiculous. I think that was a ****ty thing for your aunt to say.

I am bit dazed at how this miraculous form of birth works.
Could you please give me a quick run down?

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by Meowi

I am bit dazed at how this miraculous form of birth works.
Could you please give me a quick run down?

Say what???

[Meowi]

Like, was it an IVF treatment or something else?

[Nikolaj]

Originally Posted by markolas

I can't remember the last time I started a topic here.

Anyway, I wondered if there are any "childfree" Ledgies. Not people who don't currently have kids but might want them someday, or people who can't have kids but want them, but people who actively do not want children - ever.

It seems to be a bit of a movement, and some CF folks are more, um...adamant than others. I've been to a couple of CF websites, where people vent about being scolded about it, or looked down on. I haven't experienced much of that, but as a gay man, it's not really expected that I'll have kids.

I have no children and never will. I like very much being an uncle, and was very unbothered by diaper changes, caring for the children when they got sick,- they are germy little creatures- and I enjoyed helping them as much as I could when they needed reassurance as very young kids- but that's enough for me.
In my late 20s I once seriously considered adopting one day, or foster parenting, but changed my mind by the time I was 30.
So, by choice I am "childfree" and always will be- My beloved little girl cat, I think of her as my child and consider myself her 'daddy'. She's the most important part of my life and my true source of happiness here on Earth. I have to be careful, because I always want to remember the source of all my blessings, which is why I make the Earth clarification.
I think the worst part of being a parent to an actual child wouldn't be having a child to nurture and be responsible for- for me, the worst part would be the endless social obligations I witnessed with my sister in her parenting- the ridiculous amount of carpooling, the dramas, good and bad with her fellow parents, the sleepovers, the 'favors', the cliques, for a start. Oh my, worst of all is the oppressive and unreasonable demands of private schools, the actual politics involved with raising a child, if you or your children are educationally motivated are unbelievable. The nitpicking and compulsive behavior of educators and demands made (I realize it is to benefit the children) make me re-think the merits of public schools- my sister is so strong, and nearly a saint- There were advisors who'd think nothing of making me wait more than an hour than when I was told to pick up the children, over important (I'm sure) issues- but your time is never respected by these type of schools.
Plus, for years, my sister cooked the entire faculty lunch every Friday- and we're talking impressive lunches- this particular private school required their a*sses to be kissed, regularly. I'd have made them one lunch that would have kept them in the bathroom all day and be done with that little requirement being asked of me, in quick work. No, that likely would have been illegal- but I would have wanted to!
All the charity fundraising required of the parents- just for the privilege of paying a college-tuition fee for every year the kids went to school, with no transportation provided. My sister's spent the past 2o years or so as a slave to being behind the wheel, and I haven't even touched on specialists, music lessons, judo, and every imaginable activity she felt compelled to provide for each child. She is amazing. I think you have to be amazing to be a parent if you're going to do the job properly. I'd need a couch potato for a kid, or I'd be out of luck!
Being a parent- Not for me.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by Meowi

Like, was it an IVF treatment or something else?

Oh- no, my daughter is adopted.

[Meowi]

Originally Posted by jannieC

Oh- no, my daughter is adopted.

Ok, sorry for the confusion.


I'm glad that your daughter is being brought up in such a loving environment.

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by markolas

I can't remember the last time I started a topic here.

Anyway, I wondered if there are any "childfree" Ledgies. Not people who don't currently have kids but might want them someday, or people who can't have kids but want them, but people who actively do not want children - ever.

It depends on what day of the week you catch me.

Generally I think I don't want kids, ever. Maybe once or twice a month I wish I was a father. My wife says she wants kids... but no plans on having them.

[LukeA]

Some would say that a child is the ultimate STD.

Not me, but, still, some would.