Gay dating

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by TrueFaith77

I remember being in a bar like two or three years ago. I saw some cute, young guy and decided to try to flirt. As I began some of my signature lines, he lashed out at me: GROW SOME HAIR! -- and he sauntered away. That was the first time anything like that had ever happened to me. It was such a blow to my self-esteem that I went into hiding for a year. It was all I could think about. And believe me, I explored options. I spoke with my hair stylist. I went to Bosley to get find out I could get that generic merkin for $10,000!!!! *not gonna happen. So I decided to start working out (mildly)--now my body oscillates between its usual skinny-minny and toned hotness . And a year ago, I decided to just get my head shaved once a week (clippers, 0). And that seems to be about as good as I can get. It emphasizes the fact that I'm bald up front, but it restored some of my confidence--and I remain with some of that confidence intact--and yet I continue to find new things I don't like about my body (before going bald, it was chest hair... but I got over that and I'll continue to get over everything else, I suppose). It's life. So that's my wisdom and it brings us up to date.

My point is. I share David's quandary. I, too, am getting older (32 years old now). I, too, find it difficult to make lasting connections. I spent too long getting over a broken heart. But I'm not trying to regret anything.

But now, how is it done? I know I can work on physical improvement and I know I can work on being more patient and understanding with people (I'm so self-centered). Those are things I CAN fix.

But what I don't know, which I think might be David's point, is how do I meet people? NYC is hard. The clubs are a good way to get laid, but not a good way to make lasting connections. Fleetwood Mac hasn't proven to be a way to meet people to date, for me. My activities generally tend to be rather solitary. Listening to music, writing, and, especially, going to movies which is a rather intimate experience for me. Club-going, again, serves other purposes. And I've never been much for social events, networking, and the such. I've thought about going to church. Everyone says: take a class. Although maybe that's the best advice for David and me: STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

Anyway, maybe suggestions/advice in that dept would be helpful. Either for me--or for others similarly mystified by dating and mingling and getting to know people.

Unfortunately, your experiences are all to common. I encounter the same kind of crap here in Charlotte, North Carolina as you do in NYC. I just don't understand why gay guys have to be so nasty to one another. After all, the majority of the rest of the world is nasty to US! Why pick ourselves apart further? You'd think we'd all want to band together .

I know I too ended up wandering around for years trying to find my place. Looking for guys at coffee shops, bars, the 'net, stuff like that. I was introduced to the guy I'm with now through a mutual friend... we all worked at a bank headquarters together, though in completely different departments. At first I was very hesitant, as he was older, ran in far higher circles than I did, dressed heads and tails nicer than me, drove a pricey car... all the hallmarks of the type of "fags" I normally avoid at all costs. But the book turned out to be far, far different than it's cover. So you might want to take a chance on something that you might normally brush off.

I do know what you mean about going into hiding too. I hardly show my face in my town anymore either. I've gained some weight, and am not dating one of the poster boys like I used to. I'd be immediate fodder for the glitterati set. I shouldn't give a damn, but people can be so cruel... so I just don't give them that chance.