Gay dating - Page 3

DavidMn · #31 12-28-2009, 02:28 AM

Ok Ive had all day to think about this and 've come to the conclusion:

F**K EM!

I thought seriously about reporting the person who did this to me but I decided that in the end Karma will come around. I'm not giving them the attention they want. I deleted the pm and I'm moving on. It is really nice and quite humling to recieve the support from the people I do care about and really in the end thats all that matters.

I believe I will meet the right man and that will be because of who I am not trying to be someone I'm not. I accept wholeheartedly that my body is what it is, and while I'm trying to lose weight, I'm not going to become some kind of shrinking violet because of this situation. Thank you everyone again for being so nice to me. I guess being nice does pay off sometimes.

chriskisn · #32 12-28-2009, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidMn

I believe I will meet the right man and that will be because of who I am not trying to be someone I'm not. I accept wholeheartedly that my body is what it is, and while I'm trying to lose weight, I'm not going to become some kind of shrinking violet because of this situation. Thank you everyone again for being so nice to me. I guess being nice does pay off sometimes.

That is exactly the point, if you meet the right person they won't care about size, looks, or whatever. I may be straight but the issues are the same for everyone - I weigh in at about 250, down from 270 a couple of years ago, so fully appreciate where you are coming from.

One day you will meet someone who will love you and everything about you. Until then, just have fun looking!

diane_k · #33 12-28-2009, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chriskisn

That is exactly the point, if you meet the right person they won't care about size, looks, or whatever. I may be straight but the issues are the same for everyone - I weigh in at about 250, down from 270 a couple of years ago, so fully appreciate where you are coming from.

One day you will meet someone who will love you and everything about you. Until then, just have fun looking!

I couldn't have said it better. In the end, it's all about trust and honesty..and how the person makes you feel. The rest shouldn't matter. Just be up front, be honest, be yourself, and you'll attract someone in no time!

petep9000 · #34 12-28-2009, 07:41 PM

How awful for someone to send a PM like that. Sorry that you had to endure that BS.
As for love and dating and meeting someone? When you LEAST expect it, it will happen, and it will be wonderful and life changing and even a little scary but also fun and warm and all kinds of other great things.

Hang in there, get out there, and you wait.!!! How do I know? Because it happened to me and I never thought I'd ever find someone again!!

TrueFaith77 · #35 12-29-2009, 11:09 AM

I remember being in a bar like two or three years ago. I saw some cute, young guy and decided to try to flirt. As I began some of my signature lines, he lashed out at me: GROW SOME HAIR! -- and he sauntered away. That was the first time anything like that had ever happened to me. It was such a blow to my self-esteem that I went into hiding for a year. It was all I could think about. And believe me, I explored options. I spoke with my hair stylist. I went to Bosley to get find out I could get that generic merkin for $10,000!!!! *not gonna happen. So I decided to start working out (mildly)--now my body oscillates between its usual skinny-minny and toned hotness

. And a year ago, I decided to just get my head shaved once a week (clippers, 0). And that seems to be about as good as I can get. It emphasizes the fact that I'm bald up front, but it restored some of my confidence--and I remain with some of that confidence intact--and yet I continue to find new things I don't like about my body (before going bald, it was chest hair... but I got over that and I'll continue to get over everything else, I suppose). It's life. So that's my wisdom and it brings us up to date.

My point is. I share David's quandary. I, too, am getting older (32 years old now). I, too, find it difficult to make lasting connections. I spent too long getting over a broken heart. But I'm not trying to regret anything.

But now, how is it done? I know I can work on physical improvement and I know I can work on being more patient and understanding with people (I'm so self-centered). Those are things I CAN fix.

But what I don't know, which I think might be David's point, is how do I meet people? NYC is hard. The clubs are a good way to get laid, but not a good way to make lasting connections. Fleetwood Mac hasn't proven to be a way to meet people to date, for me. My activities generally tend to be rather solitary. Listening to music, writing, and, especially, going to movies which is a rather intimate experience for me. Club-going, again, serves other purposes. And I've never been much for social events, networking, and the such. I've thought about going to church. Everyone says: take a class. Although maybe that's the best advice for David and me: STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

Anyway, maybe suggestions/advice in that dept would be helpful. Either for me--or for others similarly mystified by dating and mingling and getting to know people.

skcin · #36 12-29-2009, 01:11 PM

Didn't this happen to you before David? I'm having a case of deja vu here. Seems that you started a very similar thread a couple years back & got a mean PM then too? Maybe it was someone else.

**mylittledemon** · #37 12-29-2009, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith77

I remember being in a bar like two or three years ago. I saw come cute, young guy and decided to try to flirt. As I began some of my signature lines, he lashed out at me: GROW SOME HAIR! -

what a fu*kin prick.

louielouie2000 · #38 12-29-2009, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith77

I remember being in a bar like two or three years ago. I saw some cute, young guy and decided to try to flirt. As I began some of my signature lines, he lashed out at me: GROW SOME HAIR! -- and he sauntered away. That was the first time anything like that had ever happened to me. It was such a blow to my self-esteem that I went into hiding for a year. It was all I could think about. And believe me, I explored options. I spoke with my hair stylist. I went to Bosley to get find out I could get that generic merkin for $10,000!!!! *not gonna happen. So I decided to start working out (mildly)--now my body oscillates between its usual skinny-minny and toned hotness

. And a year ago, I decided to just get my head shaved once a week (clippers, 0). And that seems to be about as good as I can get. It emphasizes the fact that I'm bald up front, but it restored some of my confidence--and I remain with some of that confidence intact--and yet I continue to find new things I don't like about my body (before going bald, it was chest hair... but I got over that and I'll continue to get over everything else, I suppose). It's life. So that's my wisdom and it brings us up to date.

My point is. I share David's quandary. I, too, am getting older (32 years old now). I, too, find it difficult to make lasting connections. I spent too long getting over a broken heart. But I'm not trying to regret anything.

But now, how is it done? I know I can work on physical improvement and I know I can work on being more patient and understanding with people (I'm so self-centered). Those are things I CAN fix.

But what I don't know, which I think might be David's point, is how do I meet people? NYC is hard. The clubs are a good way to get laid, but not a good way to make lasting connections. Fleetwood Mac hasn't proven to be a way to meet people to date, for me. My activities generally tend to be rather solitary. Listening to music, writing, and, especially, going to movies which is a rather intimate experience for me. Club-going, again, serves other purposes. And I've never been much for social events, networking, and the such. I've thought about going to church. Everyone says: take a class. Although maybe that's the best advice for David and me: STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

Anyway, maybe suggestions/advice in that dept would be helpful. Either for me--or for others similarly mystified by dating and mingling and getting to know people.

Unfortunately, your experiences are all to common. I encounter the same kind of crap here in Charlotte, North Carolina as you do in NYC. I just don't understand why gay guys have to be so nasty to one another. After all, the majority of the rest of the world is nasty to US! Why pick ourselves apart further?

You'd think we'd all want to band together

.

I know I too ended up wandering around for years trying to find my place. Looking for guys at coffee shops, bars, the 'net, stuff like that. I was introduced to the guy I'm with now through a mutual friend... we all worked at a bank headquarters together, though in completely different departments. At first I was very hesitant, as he was older, ran in far higher circles than I did, dressed heads and tails nicer than me, drove a pricey car... all the hallmarks of the type of "fags" I normally avoid at all costs. But the book turned out to be far, far different than it's cover. So you might want to take a chance on something that you might normally brush off.

I do know what you mean about going into hiding too. I hardly show my face in my town anymore either. I've gained some weight, and am not dating one of the poster boys like I used to. I'd be immediate fodder for the glitterati set. I shouldn't give a damn, but people can be so cruel... so I just don't give them that chance.

**mylittledemon** · #39 12-29-2009, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trackaghost

David, you should just name the person who sent you the PM, they don't deserve to remain nameless.

I disagree; it should've been forwarded to a MODERATOR.

**mylittledemon** · #40 12-29-2009, 04:16 PM

Well because unfortunately, the PM has been deleted, so now it's hearsay.

petep9000 · #41 12-29-2009, 04:20 PM

The DBA can probably retrieve a deleted PM.
David you don't have to name him/her out loud. Give us a hint, you can use pig-Latin.

JazmenFlowers · #42 12-29-2009, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trackaghost

David, you should just name the person who sent you the PM, they don't deserve to remain nameless.

I agree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

Unfortunately, your experiences are all to common. I encounter the same kind of crap here in Charlotte, North Carolina as you do in NYC. I just don't understand why gay guys have to be so nasty to one another. After all, the majority of the rest of the world is nasty to US! Why pick ourselves apart further?

You'd think we'd all want to band together

.

I know I too ended up wandering around for years trying to find my place. Looking for guys at coffee shops, bars, the 'net, stuff like that. I was introduced to the guy I'm with now through a mutual friend... we all worked at a bank headquarters together, though in completely different departments. At first I was very hesitant, as he was older, ran in far higher circles than I did, dressed heads and tails nicer than me, drove a pricey car... all the hallmarks of the type of "fags" I normally avoid at all costs. But the book turned out to be far, far different than it's cover. So you might want to take a chance on something that you might normally brush off.

I do know what you mean about going into hiding too. I hardly show my face in my town anymore either. I've gained some weight, and am not dating one of the poster boys like I used to. I'd be immediate fodder for the glitterati set. I shouldn't give a damn, but people can be so cruel... so I just don't give them that chance.

this is so funny because I have seen this kind of stuff over and over again. I've never really "fit in" with any one group. I never really know how to act around a bunch of gay people. I'm just myself. I definitely don't fit into any one category. but I feel like I'm always judged because I'm either too fem or not fem enough or wear too much makeup or not edgy enough, etc. etc. I've always been the floater among lots of different crowds for that reason, but I've had my share of haters. what I love is to see them now. I've managed to maintain my divinty, and they just look like tired, haggard morons. lol. I've always had the "to the left, to the left" kind of attitude anyway.