Do you believe in love at first sight?

[Amlyn]

I think your experience is very cool! I always was one to believe in "everything happens for a reason" and that there is some sort of fate/destiny thing out there.

Like the movie Serendipity. These two people just happened to be in the same place at the same time and it took them years, but they found each other again. I love when that really is what happens between two people. The meeting part that is. It's so natural and unforced, yet it is like there was this "thing" pulling you together. I am such a hardened realist, so to actually feel this way about finding someone/love is such a departure for me.

So with that, I say go for it. Because you don't want to live with regret and the what ifs. If it was meant to be, it will all work out and if not, it might be the thing to get you back out there and enjoying life again.

Just proceed with caution. Let someone in your life have a rough sketch of your whereabouts just in case, until you are passed that awkward getting to know you phase.

Good luck!

[Sleepless-Child]

Originally Posted by bluefox4000

No I don't. I believe you could be in lust at first sight. For me love is when you get to know the person. Their like, dislike. their hopes, their goals. You know really KNOWING the person. That's why I fell in love with my wife. I've known her since I was 3. I know the truly wonderful woman she is. I know everything about her and I adore every bit. But I didn't love her at first sight. I did not fall for her till I was 18. It was a slow process...very rewarding.

Micl

EXACTLY. To me, love is when you are brave enough to spend your entire life with a person you know, when the passion is gone. I believe that love is something that grows, to become huge. Any opportunity to start this kind of relationship must be taken, so go for it ! And stay positive. It didn't work out with your ex-boyfriend for a reason : if you were brave enough, he wasn't. Love doesn't happen many times in a lifetime. (Sorry, if i sound a bit naive).

[LikeAWillow]

Originally Posted by Sleepless-Child

EXACTLY. To me, love is when you are brave enough to spend your entire life with a person you know, when the passion is gone. I believe that love is something that grows, to become huge. Any opportunity to start this kind of relationship must be taken, so go for it ! .

I really like the way you put this, and I completely agree. Good luck, Curtis!

[LittleCharmer]

Originally Posted by Sleepless-Child

EXACTLY. To me, love is when you are brave enough to spend your entire life with a person you know, when the passion is gone. I believe that love is something that grows, to become huge. Any opportunity to start this kind of relationship must be taken, so go for it ! And stay positive. It didn't work out with your ex-boyfriend for a reason : if you were brave enough, he wasn't. Love doesn't happen many times in a lifetime. (Sorry, if i sound a bit naive).

I love everything about this.

This thread is sweet. OP, this sounds like it could be a fun and exciting time for you, and I hope it continues and grows

[CreepingDeath]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

To be honest with you, for a few years now I haven't even been sure of the existence of love.

Even though I've been with my guy since I was 17, I tend to agree with you. It's worked for us (not without epic fighting along the way), but I think that was just a fluke of cosmic proportions.

To quote Queensryche:

"I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel"

[daniellaaarisen]

I am losing all faith in love.

That being said, instant connections like that are rare and beautiful, but as others have said, proceed with caution.

[Fleetwoodmark]

Yeah I believe in Love at first sight. Happened for me anyway.

Good luck

[HighPassion]

I personally think that the whole reason why marriages fall apart, or people become distraught with love, or people will "never love again" is purely because of theories like "love at first site", "soul mates", etc...


Here's why.

We get this view of "love" through songs, movies, novels, tv shows (the list goes on) about what's supposed to happen. About how what we're supposed to feel. About why we feel this way. Yet is that love?

It paints this virtually unrealistic picture of love, that disappoints people to the extent of thinking "love does not exist" when it doesn't work out, or that once you find your soul mate, you don't need to work at it. Those are two completely wrong ideas. And it wrecks a person because of all these expectations.

So why do so many people dilude themselves into thinking it anyway? Because of how we feel around this person. When it's all new and exciting and you want to spend every waking minute with them - you actually start to believe in a fairytale-eque happy ending and that nothing could go wrong. I think it's safe to say, everyone in this forum has thought that about someone at one point or another.


But that's just not the case. Love is something that developes down the road between two people from working on it. And continue to work on it. I don't think actual "love" can be aquired until you figure out the ups and downs of this significant other, you learn to accept who they are (for better or worse--to a reasonable extent), they bring out the ACTUAL best in you, (the real best in you, not what you think is the best in you because of endorphins and emotions running high), and you to them, and BOTH of you working through the good times and the bad times.

And, a lot of this can stem from an infatuation, and there are thousands of people who have had this connection and have made it work. There is definitely chemistry between certain people at times, that give them the opportunity to build this love together. But all it is is an infatuation, or a connection. To call it "love" right off the bat is so dangerous and is the reason why so many of them don't work out.

Granted, some have found that connection early on and have been able to build a loving relationship with each other and it works out in the long run. But I think they mistaken that for "love at first site" because they were fortunate enough to have it work out for themselves.

I don't know, I personally have a hard time explaining things like this. It's like, I know it in my head - but wording it out sometimes makes it look like word vomit...


Btw - AWESOME story to that guy who met his wife when he was 3!!! I loved it. And I totally see where he's coming from.

[skcin]

Originally Posted by Sleepless-Child

EXACTLY. To me, love is when you are brave enough to spend your entire life with a person you know, when the passion is gone. I believe that love is something that grows, to become huge. Any opportunity to start this kind of relationship must be taken, so go for it ! And stay positive. It didn't work out with your ex-boyfriend for a reason : if you were brave enough, he wasn't. Love doesn't happen many times in a lifetime. (Sorry, if i sound a bit naive).

Very well said.


You know, initially I was thinking "no way" to Curt's question. Then I started thinking about my relationship. I can actually remember the first time I saw my husband - I was 16, he was 18, I was dating a friend of his. We all hung out with the same group of friends on & off for a long time, and after about 3 years we were both single & started dating. Almost 17 years later, here we are. So maybe it's not total bullsh*t.

[bluefox4000]

Originally Posted by HighPassion

Btw - AWESOME story to that guy who met his wife when he was 3!!! I loved it. And I totally see where he's coming from.

Thank you very much. It was worth it. But i can assure you it was NOT all roses. It was a difficult and often times painful experience. I have a whole story. Maybe that'll be for another thread

Mick

[DavidMn]

Well, I felt that about 7 years ago with my now ex. We were together for 3 years until his drug issues took over. Anyway Curt, I would say go with your feelings, but be somewhat guarded at the same time. Only you can decide when you are really in love with this person. Good luck to you!

[markolas]

to HighPassion.

I don't believe in love at first sight, or soulmates, or any of that. Definitely proceed with caution. You just had a traumatic break-up and I think it might be coloring your perspective here. Generally, it's a really good idea to take some time (a lot of time) after a break-up and spend some time being (and enjoying) being single. But since you've met the guy and evidently had a connection, I think you should see how it pans out, but know that your emotions might be playing tricks on you.

Relationships are hard. Like HighPassion said, there's this idea out there that there's a perfect person for you, and if you just find him/her then life will be just like one of those sappy Meg Ryan movies. It doesn't work that way, at least not for long. You have to overlook a lot of sh!t, and you have to deal with the fact that you may not always like the person you're with. Many people can't do either of those things, and think when they stop having those warm, fuzzy feelings all the time, that it means the relationship is over. If anything, that's when it starts.

[LittleCharmer]

Originally Posted by markolas

You have to overlook a lot of sh!t, and you have to deal with the fact that you may not always like the person you're with. Many people can't do either of those things, and think when they stop having those warm, fuzzy feelings all the time, that it means the relationship is over. If anything, that's when it starts.

This is the most quotable thread, ever.

[-Lillith-]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

I am losing all faith in love.

That being said, instant connections like that are rare and beautiful, but as others have said, proceed with caution.

Why are you loosing the faith in love ?

I believe in love at first sight, it got me in trouble thou...

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by -Lillith-

Why are you loosing the faith in love ?

Heart broken for the first time in my life a few months ago. Badly.

Then add two really promising and yet short-lived relationships immediately after that.... both ended it with ME for entirely different reasons = me feeling really, really f*cking inadequate and unworthy.

Yay.