Do you believe in love at first sight?

ontheEdgeof17 · #1 04-25-2011, 10:32 AM

I think it has happened to me....

Let me start from the beginning.

As some of you know, I was in a serious, committed relationship for two years. We lived together, traveled the world together, did everything together. Then, disaster. This past New Years, we were in London, having a ball. One night, my boyfriend just blurted out, "I can't do this anymore", and he broke up with me during our two week vacation in Europe. I came back to the states early and hibernated with a friend in Pittsburgh. Eventually, I had to go back to NYC and to our apartment. His grandma died, and he was in Denver for a week after I returned to the city....

Well, of course it was a disasterous break-up. I found out he had been cheating on me with a 23 year old (He's 33). It went back and forth for weeks....he moved out...but came back...we made love over and over....he left again...came back....over and over. We had a talk one night and he said he was in love with two ppl...me and this other ****er. Ugh. I was devastated....heartbroken....lifeless.....

Eventually, it totally fell a part by mid February. I had no desire to share my love with someone else. At that point, I decided to just be single for awhile...no dating...no falling in love....no desires for sex. I've been hanging out with my best friend (along with my roommate, co-workes, and neighbor) a lot, and we have been having the best time!

Now. A week ago Saturday, I was waiting for my friend to meet me at the West 4th stop on the F line....I NEVER take the F line. We were going to a show in the East Village. As I was walking along the track to find a place to stand, I met eyes with someone. I instantly stopped in my tracks. I was in awe. I felt in love and like I knew this guy forever. He smiled, but we didn't talk....a few glances. He got on the oncoming train, but my friend wasn't there yet, so I waited. As the door to the train closed, we smiled at each other. I thought that would be the last time I would see him.

The next afternoon, I felt weird inside, like there was something urgent I had to do. Oddly, it was to check "missed connections" on Craigslist. And there it was.....not one, but two messages about me from this guy...asking me to find him.....Weird. I never go on that site and would have never imagined anyone trying to find me. Obviously, I responded and went out on a date that first night. It was wonderful.....as was the second date....amazing.

It is now Monday. I haven't seen him since Wednesday, since his friend from LA was in town for the weekend. We are going to dinner tonight.

Is this a love at first sight thing? Fate? Right place, right time? For the first time in my life, I feel complete. Too early for that? I'm freaking out a little because 1) it is too early in the relationship to feel this way and 2) I just had my heart pulled out my chest with the last guy.

Any advice? Do I just run with it or stay guarded?

----everything happens for a reason, stay clear----

HighPassion · #2 04-25-2011, 10:47 AM

I don't believe in love at first site, but I do believe there can be a "connection" at first site. Like, something that could lead to it.

I hate to sound like a debbie downer, but if you're in a relationship with someone for that long, your next love interest (no matter how long afterwards) is very likely to be a rebound, and sometimes with a rebound you just jump "all in".

However, that's not the case for everyone. It's just what I've observed with a few friends.

I do think though, it's very possible to have some sort of a connection at first that opens the door for it building into love. Thats personal experience

Silver Springs · #3 04-25-2011, 10:51 AM

To be honest with you, for a few years now I haven't even been sure of the existence of love.

GypsySorcerer · #4 04-25-2011, 11:02 AM

It does sound like you made a connection, but from my experience, don't have too many expectations. Proceed, but proceed with caution.

bluefox4000 · #5 04-25-2011, 11:19 AM

No I don't. I believe you could be in lust at first sight. For me love is when you get to know the person. Their like, dislike. their hopes, their goals. You know really KNOWING the person. That's why I fell in love with my wife. I've known her since I was 3. I know the truly wonderful woman she is. I know everything about her and I adore every bit. But I didn't love her at first sight. I did not fall for her till I was 18. It was a slow process...very rewarding.

Micl

HejiraNYC · #6 04-25-2011, 11:41 AM

Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside me say I really don't think it's strong enough. No...

Woo! (rolls tongue while pushing my hair back)

KarmaContestant · #7 04-25-2011, 11:42 AM

I do, absolutely!

I believe in love at first sight, and karma and reincarnation and 'soul mates', and that everything you do comes back to you and that everything happens for a reason. That's a lot, but they all go hand-in-hand.

That's a great story, by the way, the way you met each other.

"...future lovers hide love inside their eyes..."

ontheEdgeof17 · #8 04-25-2011, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside me say I really don't think it's strong enough. No...

Woo! (rolls tongue while pushing my hair back)

You are posting through a vocoder, right?

ontheEdgeof17 · #9 04-25-2011, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

To be honest with you, for a few years now I haven't even been sure of the existence of love.

I doubt love, as well, especially after my ex. How can someone say they 'love' me so much, yet stray?

I don't understand that logic. He told me he loved me two weeks after we met. It took me awhile to fall in love. I don't doubt that he did love me, but I guess I wasn't his "one love".

Pyewacket · #10 04-25-2011, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

I think it has happened to me....

Any advice? Do I just run with it or stay guarded?

----everything happens for a reason, stay clear----

Both! You can do both. It sounds wonderful and I am happy for you, but it's too, too early to communicate these thoughts to him and there's no need for you to do so anyway. Keep indicating you're interested by making more dates. If you lay all this information out for him, it will do you both a disservice -- you may scare him and then you'd both lose out. Stay calm and collected -- try to focus on work and the other parts of your life.

He is interested in you -- he placed two(2) ads! Just let that ride for awhile.