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  #31  
Old 02-13-2011, 11:06 AM
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Oh I agree. And hopefully Those stories help others. IMO these things must be discussed. I've learned that despite the darkness out there. there ARE People who care.

Mick
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  #32  
Old 02-13-2011, 11:10 AM
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^^^We need a f*cking "like" button on here.
  #33  
Old 02-13-2011, 11:16 AM
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Thankee

Mick
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  #34  
Old 02-13-2011, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted by HomerMcvie View Post
Downside? I disagree, strongly. Quite the contrary. I think it allows us to find strength, in our little community here. For us to understand, that most of us have lost someone to suicide, but also, for us to understand, that we ALL have our down moments in life, and that they WILL pass. To find the inner strength, patience, and love, that allows us to find the greater things that await us.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not unsympathetic (and Bee in particular who's having a rocky time knows this) - but I am such a pragmatist.

Open discussion is all very well, but it can sometimes backfire - it can cause confusion to the person needing help because of conflicting views between people trying to give advice, although I know full well they are full of good intentions and only trying to help.

And too much sympathy could maybe cause a person to wallow even more as it might get a bit addictive.

I am all for talking things out but I'd rather see someone do it through proper professional channels if they are in a bad place.

However you are fully entitled to disagree with me and I respect that.
  #35  
Old 02-13-2011, 01:13 PM
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You are very brave to speak out on this subject.

There are some dark subjects coming out on here at the moment and I think a lot of people are feeling jittery - I personally think it is a downside of these sites.
Thank you.

What scares me is from my own experience. A lady my husband worked with lost her husband to suicide 9 months prior to my husband taking his own life. Sometimes, I think my husband thought that Laura did well after her husband died. He saw that life for her went on, and I think he realized that life would carry on for me as well. What he didn't see is that people have to continue the pace of life, but that doesn't mean the survivors are functioning mentally. It scares me to share my story because I don't want anyone considering it to think that I'm doing fine and dandy. Quite the contrary. While I have learned that life continues, it's still a void that cannot be filled. Not only in my life, but in my daughters. It's my cross to bear.
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  #36  
Old 02-13-2011, 01:20 PM
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Thank you.

What scares me is from my own experience. A lady my husband worked with lost her husband to suicide 9 months prior to my husband taking his own life. Sometimes, I think my husband thought that Laura did well after her husband died. He saw that life for her went on, and I think he realized that life would carry on for me as well. What he didn't see is that people have to continue the pace of life, but that doesn't mean the survivors are functioning mentally. It scares me to share my story because I don't want anyone considering it to think that I'm doing fine and dandy. Quite the contrary. While I have learned that life continues, it's still a void that cannot be filled. Not only in my life, but in my daughters. It's my cross to bear.
All I can say is that I wish you and your daughter well.
  #37  
Old 02-13-2011, 03:27 PM
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i wish i could go back in time and bottle all this up again like i have done for so long. to tell other people that i am *insert the s word here* only brings up bad memories for you all....i should just leave you all in peace. im sorry
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  #38  
Old 02-13-2011, 03:40 PM
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You've got nothing, for which to be sorry.
I think it's good, that we're all sharing our stories, and hopefully you're gaining some hope, that times will get better for you, and that we care, and we're here for you.
  #39  
Old 02-13-2011, 03:42 PM
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i wish i could go back in time and bottle all this up again like i have done for so long. to tell other people that i am *insert the s word here* only brings up bad memories for you all....i should just leave you all in peace. im sorry
That's the absolute last thing you should be worrying about.

You're going through a lot right now, and you shouldn't be bottling anything up. If it helps to talk about it here, that's wonderful.
I agree with others, though, that you should also call a help line, or consult a therapist. I think everyone here is happy to offer sympathy and personal stories, but most of us are not trained professionals, and can't offer the help it sounds like you need.
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  #40  
Old 02-13-2011, 05:23 PM
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not pertaining to my own feelings, but im trying to distract from them. a couple of years ago i saw my neighbour commit suicide. he was a steroid and alcohol addict and after a fight with his wife we saw him go into his garage. we didn't see anything again until she'd opened the door and we saw him. i know it was traumatising for us to watch, but i could never relate to how his wife felt when she had to cut him down. when i think of that and the stories you guys have shared with us, i feel oh so guilty for harbouring the feelings myself.
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  #41  
Old 02-13-2011, 05:37 PM
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There's no shame in having those feelings - you're brave to be facing them head on. It's how you choose to react to those feelings that matters. I hope you're able to get some help closer to home - You can and will get past this
  #42  
Old 02-13-2011, 09:57 PM
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not pertaining to my own feelings, but im trying to distract from them. a couple of years ago i saw my neighbour commit suicide. he was a steroid and alcohol addict and after a fight with his wife we saw him go into his garage. we didn't see anything again until she'd opened the door and we saw him. i know it was traumatising for us to watch, but i could never relate to how his wife felt when she had to cut him down. when i think of that and the stories you guys have shared with us, i feel oh so guilty for harbouring the feelings myself.
Don't feel guilty. It's really alright. Seriously, at least you have the strength to speak of it and think it out before you act.

Your neighbor is one hell of a woman for cutting her husband down. I can't imagine. My husband hung himself and I wouldn't even enter the house, let alone take him down. I felt sorry for the poor officer who went in and found him. I've never seen anyone alive that color of white.
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  #43  
Old 02-13-2011, 10:01 PM
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All I can say is that I wish you and your daughter well.
Thank you. We have overcome and we do well, but it's still a void. More so for her. You can't replace a father. I can always remarry.
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  #44  
Old 02-13-2011, 10:42 PM
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I find threads of this nature dangerous.

Quote:
Johnny Stew

Care & concern from people on a message board may be nice, but it's just a band-aid. I strongly suggest seeking professional help.

Start by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They have trained counselors, and they can refer you to a mental health professional in your area.
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  #45  
Old 02-14-2011, 08:04 AM
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I find threads of this nature dangerous.
Thank you, my thoughts exactly - I suppose that's what I was trying to say all along, you just put it more simply and IMO are so right.

I think I conjured up feelings of antagonism from some people.
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