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#1
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Think you guys might get a kick out of this
How to shower like a woman:- > >Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to >whites and coloured. > >Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. > >If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. > >Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more >sit-ups. > >Get in shower. > >Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice >stone. > >Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. > >Wash hair again to make sure it is clean. > >Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural >avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes. > >Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red. > >Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash. > >Shave armpits and legs. > >Turn off shower. > >Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex. > >Get out off shower. > >Dry with towel the size of a small country. > >Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. > >Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs. > >Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. > >If you see husband along the way, cover any expsed areas. > >How to Shower Like A Man: > >Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. > >Leave in a pile. > >Walk naked to the bathroom. > >If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound > >Look at manly physique in the mirror. > >Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass. > >Get in the shower. > >Wash your face. > >Wash your armpits. > >Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. > >Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound > in the shower. > >Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. > >Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap. > >Shampoo hair. > >Make shampoo mohawk. > >Pee. > >Rinse off and get out of shower. > >Partially dry-off. > >Fail to notice water on floor. > >Admire knob size in mirror again. > >Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. > >Return to bedroom with towel around waist. > >If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise >again. > >Throw wet towel on bed Ok, fess up esp you guys, how true is all that!!!
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mich |
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#2
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BWAH!! That was hilarious! Thanks, Michele!
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**Christy** |
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#3
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Is it sad to say I shower more like a woman?
I kid. I kid.
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Curtis |
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#4
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Quote:
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mich |
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#5
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that was pretty funny, sadly, i usually have more manly showering traits. Not the gross parts about the knob, or blowing your nose in your hand, or leaving hairs on the soap (uh!!!
) But there's definitely a clothes in a pile, walk around naked, wash hair once, wash all the parts that really need it vibe. But i don't like to get soap all over my skin cause it's bad for it, that's why. It's not cause i'm gross... Also, i usually have to leave in 15 minutes by the time i hit the shower ![]()
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"Do not be afraid! I am Esteban de la Sexface!" "In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice" Whehyll I can do EHYT!! Wehyll I can make it WAHN moh thihme! (wheyllit'sA reayllongwaytogooo! To say goodbhiiy!) - |
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#6
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Quote:
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#7
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Is it said to say that I shower more like a man?
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#8
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Quote:
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"Do not be afraid! I am Esteban de la Sexface!" "In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice" Whehyll I can do EHYT!! Wehyll I can make it WAHN moh thihme! (wheyllit'sA reayllongwaytogooo! To say goodbhiiy!) - |
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#9
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Gotta say I'm the same.. Wet towels (although I'm getting much better now I'm in my 30's. The 20's were all about wet towel piles).. I do walk around naked, face and armpits washing is regulation I do tend to look after myself more than I used to, so I use skin moisturisers and have the mandatory shelf full of aftershaves although I don't overdo it (nothing worse than outperfuming a lady IMO )I don't however feel the need to look at my knob in the mirror (I think it's only those with psychological problems about it that do that right? I don't waste my time on looking at mine. I know it's there 'cos I check it every now and again, as instructed in the guidelines and rules of the male.. ) I live on my own so sadly I have nobody to wave it at (don't want to scare the neighbours and end up in a cell by getting too close to the windows either) , however if I didn't live alone I wouldn't want to wave it anyway..![]() |
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#10
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Your entire post had me LMAO!
![]() How long do people shower on average, I wonder? I take about 10 minutes on average.
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**Christy** |
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#11
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I love to shower. I take about a 15-20 minute one. I end up singing and dancing around and forgetting to wash. By time I do remember, it's 10 minutes into the shower.
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Curtis |
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#12
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Thanks Christy, I do like to try and inject a little humour at times, although those really are my showering habits...... Men and their "knobs" hahaaa.. That could be a thread in itself... Boy if you could hear from some of the guys I know, man they are insecure.. Man goes to his doctor.... He says "Doctor, I have a problem, I really wish I had a 14" penis".. "Well" says the doctor "It's not uncommon for men to wish for this, have you had criticism from a woman and feel you need help?".. "No" says the man "I want a 14" one because the one I've got is just too damn big!" I spend about 10-15 minutes in the shower, depends on if I widen the perimeter of my wash regions or I stick to regulation zones.. ![]() Last edited by madformac; 12-12-2004 at 06:31 PM.. |
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#13
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Quote:
Madden: Should Mac widen the perimeter or stick with the regulation zone? Al Michaels: John, I think he should widen the perimeter because if he doesn't, there will be a penalty on the washing. Madden: Yeah, Al, that would be terrible for the Mac offense.
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**Christy** |
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#14
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Penalty on #27 madformac, intentional washing of a none regulation zone... 5 minute penalty, 2nd wash and 10... ![]() |
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#15
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We need help.
Sigh...the Cowboys do too. ![]() ![]()
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**Christy** |
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