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Are you like this in the shower..haha
Think you guys might get a kick out of this :laugh:
How to shower like a woman:- > >Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to >whites and coloured. > >Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. > >If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. > >Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more >sit-ups. > >Get in shower. > >Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice >stone. > >Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. > >Wash hair again to make sure it is clean. > >Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural >avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes. > >Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red. > >Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash. > >Shave armpits and legs. > >Turn off shower. > >Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex. > >Get out off shower. > >Dry with towel the size of a small country. > >Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. > >Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs. > >Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. > >If you see husband along the way, cover any expsed areas. > >How to Shower Like A Man: > >Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. > >Leave in a pile. > >Walk naked to the bathroom. > >If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound > >Look at manly physique in the mirror. > >Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass. > >Get in the shower. > >Wash your face. > >Wash your armpits. > >Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. > >Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound > in the shower. > >Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. > >Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap. > >Shampoo hair. > >Make shampoo mohawk. > >Pee. > >Rinse off and get out of shower. > >Partially dry-off. > >Fail to notice water on floor. > >Admire knob size in mirror again. > >Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. > >Return to bedroom with towel around waist. > >If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise >again. > >Throw wet towel on bed Ok, fess up esp you guys, how true is all that!!! |
Lmao!!
BWAH!! That was hilarious! Thanks, Michele!
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Is it sad to say I shower more like a woman? :lol:
I kid. I kid. |
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that was pretty funny, sadly, i usually have more manly showering traits. Not the gross parts about the knob, or blowing your nose in your hand, or leaving hairs on the soap (uh!!! :eek: ) But there's definitely a clothes in a pile, walk around naked, wash hair once, wash all the parts that really need it vibe. But i don't like to get soap all over my skin cause it's bad for it, that's why. It's not cause i'm gross... :laugh: Also, i usually have to leave in 15 minutes by the time i hit the shower :)
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Is it said to say that I shower more like a man? :lol:
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Gotta say I'm the same.. Wet towels (although I'm getting much better now I'm in my 30's. The 20's were all about wet towel piles).. I do walk around naked, face and armpits washing is regulation :laugh: I do tend to look after myself more than I used to, so I use skin moisturisers and have the mandatory shelf full of aftershaves although I don't overdo it (nothing worse than outperfuming a lady IMO :laugh: ) I don't however feel the need to look at my knob in the mirror (I think it's only those with psychological problems about it that do that right? I don't waste my time on looking at mine. I know it's there 'cos I check it every now and again, as instructed in the guidelines and rules of the male.. :D :laugh: ) I live on my own so sadly I have nobody to wave it at (don't want to scare the neighbours and end up in a cell by getting too close to the windows either) :lol: :laugh: , however if I didn't live alone I wouldn't want to wave it anyway.. :wavey: |
Mfm..
Your entire post had me LMAO! :lol:
How long do people shower on average, I wonder? I take about 10 minutes on average. |
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I love to shower. I take about a 15-20 minute one. I end up singing and dancing around and forgetting to wash. :o By time I do remember, it's 10 minutes into the shower. |
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Thanks Christy, I do like to try and inject a little humour at times, although those really are my showering habits...... Men and their "knobs" hahaaa.. That could be a thread in itself... Boy if you could hear from some of the guys I know, man they are insecure.. Man goes to his doctor.... He says "Doctor, I have a problem, I really wish I had a 14" penis".. "Well" says the doctor "It's not uncommon for men to wish for this, have you had criticism from a woman and feel you need help?".. "No" says the man "I want a 14" one because the one I've got is just too damn big!" :shocked: :lol: :lol: I spend about 10-15 minutes in the shower, depends on if I widen the perimeter of my wash regions or I stick to regulation zones.. :laugh: :laugh: |
Rotflmao!!
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Madden: Should Mac widen the perimeter or stick with the regulation zone? Al Michaels: John, I think he should widen the perimeter because if he doesn't, there will be a penalty on the washing. Madden: Yeah, Al, that would be terrible for the Mac offense. |
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Penalty on #27 madformac, intentional washing of a none regulation zone... 5 minute penalty, 2nd wash and 10... :blob2: :blob1: :blob2: |
Sesly...
We need help.
Sigh...the Cowboys do too. :distress: :] |
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