The Just Thought I'd Share Thread

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

I think, in a perfect world, people wouldn't hold store to how one looks aesthetically. Unfortunately, considering the people I see around me on a daily basis, there aren't many of us who believe that. People who believed that it was the outside that counted made my life hell for many years, leading me down the road of self harm, suicidal tendencies, depression and eating disorders throughout my teenage years. They're still demons I still carry with me, because the fact that they've been coping mechanisms for so many years trained me into believing that nothing else helps. I withhold meals daily, self harm when I'm in an especially dark place that my music and art can't soothe and I constantly battle against depression. I know some of this is my own fault, because I've always been hyper sensitive. But alot of it isn't. It's the fault of people who ever told me I was too fat to be anybody's friend (manbeast was my nickname at school...). It's the people who ever told me I wasn't good enough, who chose to heighten their confidence by comparing myself negatively to them. It's my father who told me to my face that he didn't love me. And yes, this probably is a whiny ass post. But these whiny feelings were conjured by people making me feel so god-damn low that I have now zero self worth. But it's the people who don't judge on appearances and other flaws, the ones who only want to make people feel better about themselves and fulfil their potential, that make me feel proud that i didn't give in to my urges years ago and remove myself from the equation.

For the first time in my life I'm in a place where I can say, without any doubt, that I'm glad I survived.

It's not your fault you're sensitive. Sensitivity is a trait like eye color. You can't just will yourself to be less sensitive. Telling someone they're too sensitive is the same as telling someone they are too short or too brunette. We really need to respect more temperaments than the Clint Eastwood badass type. I think most of us with weight "issues" are very sensitive hence reaching for the comfort food provides. We can't be less sensitive but we can learn that what others think of us really doesn't matter. The attempted homogenization in high schools is awful. Not everyone fits the same mold.