TMI thread. Discussion of sensitive ADULT issues/triggers. Enter with awareness!

[Nikolaj]

^^
I don't know if it's correct, but I long ago read that schlong size is determined by the maternal grandfather's genetics, and not the father of the lad. How exactly this information was gathered seems suspect.
Anything, though, that puts distance between traits of my father and myself, sounds good!
I'd hate to need to thank him for anything

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by petep9000

Hm. Thanks grandpa.

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Penis length? I have no idea! It's never even occurred to me, to think about where it came from! I'm adopted, so I can't really figure that out, anyway. Like every guy, I'd take more, if I could magically get it, but I'm happy with what I've got. I'd say, slightly above average. I've never had any complaints!

My parents divorced when I was 3, my bio-dad was outta the picture completely by age 4, and then he died when I was 13. So a part of me has always wondered if my junk is inherited. I definitely inherited my father's tall broad build, mannerisms, and facial structure, so I suppose why would it not be the same down there?

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

My parents divorced when I was 3, my bio-dad was outta the picture completely by age 4, and then he died when I was 13. So a part of me has always wondered if my junk is inherited. I definitely inherited my father's tall broad build, mannerisms, and facial structure, so I suppose why would it not be the same down there?

It's a long(no pun intended) strange, adoption story here, that I posted a few years back. But my birth Dad, was actually a family friend, that I grew up knowing, after my parents divorced. I didn't know he was my birth father though, until many years later. He used to take me hunting and fishing. But fortunately, never showed me his junk! I'm pretty close to my birth mother, though, I guess I could ask her! Good lord, she'd sh*t, if I asked her, if she remembered how big his penis was!

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

It's a long(no pun intended) strange, adoption story here, that I posted a few years back. But my birth Dad, was actually a family friend, that I grew up knowing, after my parents divorced. I didn't know he was my birth father though, until many years later. He used to take me hunting and fishing. But fortunately, never showed me his junk! I'm pretty close to my birth mother, though, I guess I could ask her! Good lord, she'd sh*t, if I asked her, if she remembered how big his penis was!

God knows, if I asked my Mother she'd gleefully tell me. It's her mission in life to fluster me and try to give me the most frightening TMI possible (the stories I could tell!). So I don't question the devil... it only feeds her! Not that it stops her!

Mom's told me all sorts of scary, scary things. Like my half-brother's size (she caught him... occupied). And that my Dad wasn't very good in bed. Like I needed to know either of those things . Thankfully, I don't appear to be suffering my Dad's fate. I can only go by what people have told me, and repeat customers say more than words as well!

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

God knows, if I asked my Mother she'd gleefully tell me. It's her mission in life to fluster me and try to give me the most frightening TMI possible (the stories I could tell!). So I don't question the devil... it only feeds her! Not that it stops her!

Mom's told me all sorts of scary, scary things. Like my half-brother's size (she caught him... occupied). And that my Dad wasn't very good in bed. Like I needed to know either of those things . Thankfully, I don't appear to be suffering my Dad's fate. I can only go by what people have told me, and repeat customers say more than words as well!

We never really discussed much of that stuff, in our house. Mom and I both, were funny as f*ck, but sex wasn't really discussed.

And repeat customers, are all that matters! Baby, I always try to bring my A game, to the table. I couldn't take a bad review!

[HejiraNYC]

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

^^
I don't know if it's correct, but I long ago read that schlong size is determined by the maternal grandfather's genetics, and not the father of the lad. How exactly this information was gathered seems suspect.
Anything, though, that puts distance between traits of my father and myself, sounds good!
I'd hate to need to thank him for anything

Anecdotally, I have to admit that I noticed at a very young age that I did not inherit my father's junk gene. I also have to admit that I was rather traumatized the first (and only) time I saw it. It was tiny and it was surrounded by all this gnarly, nasty black hair; it was like a little finch egg in a big nest. A little nubbin. A little acorn. I remember thinking to myself as a little kid that I was already bigger.

[Nikolaj]

Louie, I don't know who'd die of embarrassment first, my mother, or me, if we had such a discussion. Me.
You know, I envy people like you and your mom who are free enough to talk about just about anything. Me, I couldn't stand to talk about anything having to do with sex with either parent. In fact, I think if I were in a checkout stand, and heard you and your mother talking that way, I'd probably grab for a Xanax before I ran out the door to go faint in the privacy of my own car!
Which is to say, of course, YOU are the mentally healthy one in this equasion!
-that is, you and your trash-talkin' mama
I swear a joke, I don't diss no-one's mama. Plus a 'trash talkin' mama sounds better than a 'mama with a board up her butt' like I have, sometimes! Though I love her dearly.

[Nikolaj]

^A footnote to my note to Louie:
My LA days friend, of 'how dare you not know how inappropriate it is for an unmarried woman to come live with you for a week?'- (my mother, who else)-
- I pick her up at the airport tomorrow! I just couldn't cancel on her. I like her a lot, drinking habit and all, plus she's a contact I can't afford to lose. I may one day decide it's time to put all these "typing" skills to use, again.
I told my mother she had cancelled. Now, when she finds out, I'll have to lie again, and say 'she would have lost the money if she didn't use the tickets'- which may make the pragmatist that she is shut the ef up.
Mom would be so pithedoff if she knew I bought the tickets, myself!
I lie hardly ever, and don't like to. But ef it, I couldn't take the daily badgering after I told her in early December, and had to have peace.
It's four days she'll be here for a visit, not a week.
I'm hoping to keep it under wraps til New Years Day, when I'll introduce them, bringing my mother over here.
I'm nervous!
I bet your mama would be fine with it all.
Jealous

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

Louie, I don't know who'd die of embarrassment first, my mother, or me, if we had such a discussion. Me.
You know, I envy people like you and your mom who are free enough to talk about just about anything. Me, I couldn't stand to talk about anything having to do with sex with either parent. In fact, I think if I were in a checkout stand, and heard you and your mother talking that way, I'd probably grab for a Xanax before I ran out the door to go faint in the privacy of my own car!
Which is to say, of course, YOU are the mentally healthy one in this equasion!
-that is, you and your trash-talkin' mama
I swear a joke, I don't diss no-one's mama. Plus a 'trash talkin' mama sounds better than a 'mama with a board up her butt' like I have, sometimes! Though I love her dearly.

Yeah, my parents have their flaws (they were pretty outta control until I was about 10), but thankfully they're extremely open minded people. No conversations were ever off topic, and nothing was ever condemned by them per se. I think their openness and exposing me to absolutely everything is probably why I turned out fairly (well, mostly) sane

[Zombie]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

Anecdotally, I have to admit that I noticed at a very young age that I did not inherit my father's junk gene. I also have to admit that I was rather traumatized the first (and only) time I saw it. It was tiny and it was surrounded by all this gnarly, nasty black hair; it was like a little finch egg in a big nest. A little nubbin. A little acorn. I remember thinking to myself as a little kid that I was already bigger.

Haha. This reminds me of one of the only memories I have of my biological father, who passed away when I was 7. He wasn't around much, so I have few memories of him to begin with, but out of the few I have, this one is definitely the most vivid:

I was about 5 or 6, and he had just gotten a vasectomy. I got out of bed to go to the bathroom that night, and blearily opened the door to behold my father with his pants around his ankles, blood all over his thighs and aforementioned pants, and my mother on her knees in front of him with a towel, trying to clean him up and yelling at him. They both froze and looked at me and I remember just standing there, gawping for a few beats before I slowly backed out and closed the door again.

At the time, I was only vaguely aware of what he'd had done, and looking back, I think he must've popped some stitches or something? Whatever it was, that's not really something ANYONE should be confronted with for the terrible offense of opening a bathroom door, let alone a little kid who hadn't ever seen a naked guy before. It was gory.

[Dodfather]

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

I know what you mean by that. Below the belt, I'm pretty damned hairy. But above my waist? I got nothin!

Snap! I don't understand it at all! Some chest hair would be nice...

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

It's a long(no pun intended) strange, adoption story here, that I posted a few years back. But my birth Dad, was actually a family friend, that I grew up knowing, after my parents divorced. I didn't know he was my birth father though, until many years later. He used to take me hunting and fishing. But fortunately, never showed me his junk! I'm pretty close to my birth mother, though, I guess I could ask her! Good lord, she'd sh*t, if I asked her, if she remembered how big his penis was!

My grandmother went through a similar ordeal. She was adopted by her aunt and grew up thinking that she was her mom, but really the woman she'd grown up to know as her aunt was her biological mother (and, not to mention, BAT**** CRAZY).

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

My grandmother went through a similar ordeal. She was adopted by her aunt and grew up thinking that she was her mom, but really the woman she'd grown up to know as her aunt was her biological mother (and, not to mention, BAT**** CRAZY).

I always KNEW I was adopted, at birth. BUT, I was told that my parents knew nothing, of my birth parents. LIE. And I wasn't told the truth, until I was in my early 20's(when I revealed that I'd tried to find out the truth, on my own) that my birth mother had worked with my Mom(who's ovaries never developed properly, and couldn't have kids). "Nancy" already had two kids, and was divorced, and struggling to pay for the two kids she already had. Nancy got knocked up with me, and Mom talked her into letting them adopt me.

So, what really make the story Oprah-worthy, is that when my parents divorced, when I was nine, is that Mom's childhood friend, and distant cousin, started taking my hunting and fishing, for a couple of years. He then, sort of drifted away from us.

The REASON? Mom wouldn't let him tell me, that he was my real father.

By the time I knew the truth, he was terminally ill with cancer. I went and saw him, a couple of times, and he cried like a baby, telling me that he thought I always knew that he was my father. I told him that I'd JUST discovered the truth.

So, he was an artist, and multimillionaire entrepreneur. I didn't really pursue much of a relationship, beyond the two visits, because everyone said "he's just going to think you're after his money, since he's sick". And not that I would have done that, for the money(although I was poor as could be, at that point in my life), but I now wish I'd tried to forge more of a relationship.

So, did I get anything? Nada. Not even a fu*king painting(which is really all I wanted). My Mom and I attended his funeral, where it was announced, that "he never had any children"(while I'm sitting there,.... talk about biting your fu*king tongue!!). He left everything to his nephew.
Bitter? Yeah, a tad. I mean, even though I was adopted, he did sire me, and knew that Mom and I were struggling. He could have helped me with college money, or something.

Oh well, it's all good, now. Sh*t happens.....

[nailatixela]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

My Mom and I attended his funeral, where it was announced, that "he never had any children"(while I'm sitting there,.... talk about biting your fu*king tongue!!).

Damn. What an ordeal. I don't think I would have been able to hold it in.