It Gets Better

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by nailatixela

Thanks for posting this thread, Zombie. And thanks to greendaze for that youtube link. That was a really touching video.



I so agree with this. I'm 18. Most of my life I didn't even realize there was a word to describe what I was feeling. All around me seemed to be a message that people are either straight or gay - and one is most certainly better than the other. So I too also suffered a lot of confusion, and especially a lot of suppression of my true feelings. I hadn't come out to anyone til recently. I didn't "come out to myself" as bi til just over the summer.

Artemis, I can relate to you too. I hope you are soon comfortable to come out to whoever you wish...you are strong enough! Send me a message if you want, it would be cool to talk. I'm very happy that I've come out to my mom, dad and brother. It was very hard. And there are still a lot of struggles ahead but I think I've gone through the worst parts. I've come out to a close friend, and a couple other friends, when it just happened to come up in conversation by chance.

But coming out to the rest of my family will be hard. My Mom is a moderate, my Dad is a real conservative, and I'm really happy I didn't have to go through any period of them rejecting me after I came out to them. I don't know how much exactly they support LGBT freedoms/causes, and I've also realized they really won't ever be able to understand what I go/went through. But they love me and that is what is most important. The rest of my family is very conservative. It's painful to hear them say things that show their support for bigots, or bigoted viewpoints, because that makes coming out to them that much harder for me, and everyone else who lives with such a family. I know they love me...but I know me being bi will come as a surprise to them, and I don't know how they will take it. Everyone I've come out to was surprised.

Then there is the attack on bisexually (especially on male bisexuals) from within the gay community. I've heard many comments on the invalidity of bisexuality, and general comments against bisexuals. Like how we don't really exist, or are just waiting to come out as gay. I've even seen these types of comments by gay members of this forum, and even at my school's gay straight alliance. Based on who they are coming from, this boggles my mind.

Sorry for writing so much! I don't mean to hijack the thread. But it's close to my heart, and I think the it gets better message is a really great one and I'm happy there is a discussion about it.

Honestly, the older you get, the less you give a sh!t about what others think of you, including your family. You realize it's your life to live, and not anyone else's. You have a right to happiness, and to do things in your own way. Those who try to infringe on that have their own issues, and should be let known you have no place for such things. The older I get, the more I find I'm tolerant of most everything. Except BS, and others treating people badly. I have a very, very short fuse for such things. You'll find your peace and middle ground. It just takes some time. And in time others who might have had an issue with your sexuality at first will come to realize you're just the same as everyone else. I find that to be one of the most fulfilling things about being a gay male: putting a human face to homosexuality, and driving back stereotypes to people who may not have been around gay folk before.

Regarding the whole bisexuality thing, I know how tough that is. My first bf was bi, and I've had quite a few bi friends. They've all said the same thing: they get the most sh!t from the gay community, surprisingly. I think that's unfortunate. It seems the gay community is hell bent on treating each other badly, and that's something I've just never got. The majority of the world hates our existence, why must we further divide ourselves? Whenever I see gay men being catty to each other about their appearance, etc it just enrages me. I just don't get it. We should all be judged on our behavior; how we treat ourselves and others. Nothing else. You'll find your comfort zone, and great people to surround yourself with.