male and female identities

[sara1998]

I hope what I say makes sense. Sometimes, I have a rather good point, just a hard time in getting it across.
Quick background: I was brought up in a fairly traditional household. My mother didn't work until I went to Kindergarden. My father always took on breadwinner responsibilities. Mom was always a "mom". She cleaned and took care of me. (my father is the cook...ha!) A very sweet and loving individual. I honestly don't remember much of my father as a child, because he was always at work, but mainly, because he let my mother raise me. He really didn't have a part in it. My mother is kind of meek... I mean, she can't even balance her own checkbook, where my father is a rock. Strong and independent.

ladies: what does "being a woman" mean to you?

So, now that I'm grown and have been out on my own for 10 years now, I have somewhat taken after my father. Strange but true. Meaning, I am a very strong, independent individual, and I don't rely on anyone for anything. I work full time, go to school part time, cook, mow the lawn, fix minor things around the house, pay all my bills with my own money. But on the other hand, I have also taken some after my mother. I raise my kid plus one that I willingly took on, clean nearly everything, I am very empathetic towards others, sympathetic, sensitive and loving, especially towards my children. I do all the household errands, and all the school functions. I apologize, because I realize that some of this, at least for me, equates being a woman as being a mother. But a mother is what I personally am first and foremost. As a single mother, I am forced to take on the role as man and woman in the household. Mental strength, independence, sensitivity, being loving, and being the household provider are just a few things that mean being a woman to me. That is all that I really know to do.

as a woman, what expectations do you feel are placed on you by society? are they fair? are they unreasonable? do you try to live up to them? why or why not?

I think society's role perception has changed so much for women, however, there's still a traditional spin on it. Sometimes, I still think women are expected to be caretakers, soft hearted, pushovers. I think women are expected to be the primary caretakers of their children. Hell, I know some who think women should not be in the workplace. (hehe) And I think that sometimes, even when the woman does work, it is percieved to be the womans place to come home to cook and clean, while the men sit back and watch the game. I know this isn't always the case. When I was married, we both shared household responsibilities, but do you know how many women told me how lucky I was to have that?? That really blows mmy mind... And when something happens to a child, and say it was heard on the news, sometimes, the first words out of some mouths are "well, where was the mother when that happened?" What about the father? Are they not as responsible as we are? So, to an extent, no the perceptions are not fair. As far as living up to expectations, I only strive to live up to the expectations of myself and my girls. I'm not concerned with society's perceptions of me.

what expectations do you place on yourself because of your sex?

I don't know that I really place any expectations on myself based on sex. My expectations on myself are on what needs to happen to make things work.