legal professionals

[Livia]

LOL!

Typical daily behavior for some of the odd ones:

Managing partner (I'm not his asst., but this is damn funny) - first one here - works for awhile and then goes jogging - may or may not change clothes immediately. He is covered in hair, like the missing link. There is a shower in the men's room - right across from his office. He will close his office door to change, sometimes leaving his skid-marked tighty whities in plain view on the floor for all to see. He'll work for awhile, then leave to go shopping for 3 bags of fruit. Then he'll stink up the office by re-heating last night's salmon leftovers in the microwave. Depending on which bug is up his ass that day, he will pace up and down the halls, ranting about how this and that needs to be done differently so the firm can save money.

Sr. partner #1 - Hates rush hour traffic, so he doesn't arrive until 9:30 or 10. Plays scrabble online and surfs the internet. Goes to lunch at 11:30 - more online playing - gives me work around 3:30 or 4 - and then he leaves around 4:30.

Sr. partner #2 - Usually here around 9 AM. Plays solitaire on his laptop all day while he's on the phone. Goes to lunch with Sr. partner #1. More solitaire and phone calls. Starts giving me work around 4 PM. His deadline for me to have his Brief done last week was noon on Friday. So he could go play golf. I had it done at 11:45 AM.

Lucifer - arrives around 9:30 or 10 AM. Walks around and socializes (annoys) everyone. Goes to lunch. Spends most of the afternoon on the phone or dictating letters and crap no one wants to receive or read.

Jr. Partner - arrives early - also a mid-day jogger. Showers and preens for over an hour. Simultaneously plays 2 hands of Texas Hold 'Em online - shops for Longhorn and Disney crap on ebay - dictates and talks on the phone in-between. He works very odd hours (comes in at 3 AM and weekends) and surprises his secretary with tons of tapes to transcribe when she arrives the next day. I'm the only one in the office who knows he just got his nipple pierced. He's super cool, and a great dad. He works those odd hours so he can spend time w/ his family.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by Livia

. . . Then he'll stink up the office by re-heating last night's salmon leftovers in the microwave. . . . .

I would fukcing HURL

[camchristo]

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

oh, and I meant to ask y'all this too. do you have to bill every single damn thing? like, we have to put in a billing number before we print, before we copy, before we make a phone call, etc. it gets SO annoying.

Yes, we have to bill everything. I myself must bill 2,150 hours per year. Or 8.6 hours per day. It sucks ass.


And I wonder if the paralegals, secretaries here laugh at the attorney's routines. About me they would say "reads some crazy message board all day".

[Livia]

Strandie - I was gonna ask if you've had any experience w/ the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in NOLA. That's where we just filed our Appellant's Brief. Man, do they want some weird **** (pdf version on a floppy disk). We've got 8 days or so to file the Record Excerpts (another thing I've personally never had to do for a court of appeals). But now it looks like the case may settle, so we won't have to copy, spiral-bind and send that crap.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by Livia

Strandie - I was gonna ask if you've had any experience w/ the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in NOLA. That's where we just filed our Appellant's Brief. Man, do they want some weird **** (pdf version on a floppy disk). We've got 8 days or so to file the Record Excerpts (another thing I've personally never had to do for a court of appeals). But now it looks like the case may settle, so we won't have to copy, spiral-bind and send that crap.

I have never argued there or submitted a brief. But, there are rather notorious for being persnickety. Good luck!

Also, I usually am beyond nice and charming to the case clerk assigned to my case and I always read the local rules prior to calling them because the clerks in other circuits seemingly HATE to have to tell people what they should have read - - can't say I blame them!

[Livia]

I always look up the local rules online. If something's really strange, I'll call to confirm that I understand what they want. Especially since whatever they have posted online may not "really" be up to date and correct.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by Livia

I always look up the local rules online. If something's really strange, I'll call to confirm that I understand what they want. Especially since whatever they have posted online may not "really" be up to date and correct.

I know - esp. in NOLA as there likely is still Katrina related stuff that may delay the posting of rule changes.

[Violet]

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

another rant...I've spent ALL DAY searching for terms in deposition transcripts. I hate doing depo searches. no matter how easy it seems or organized you are, it always ends up getting confusing and tedious. 26 down, 34 to go. woot.

Jazz...
Don't you get a word index from your court reporter? If not, start requesting it. We provide it free with every transcript.

Carol

[JazmenFlowers]

Originally Posted by Violet

Jazz...
Don't you get a word index from your court reporter? If not, start requesting it. We provide it free with every transcript.

Carol

depends on what court reporting service we use. we use Henjum Goucher a lot (do you know them?) and we always get awesome transcripts with them, but some of these mom and pop services don't give us word indexes.

[Violet]

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

depends on what court reporting service we use. we use Henjum Goucher a lot (do you know them?) and we always get awesome transcripts with them, but some of these mom and pop services don't give us word indexes.

I've heard of them. They're pretty big. I actually work for a mom and pop firm. We have about 10 to 12 reporters. The only thing we DON'T provide is real time. If they don't provide a word index, what about an ASCII disk? Or even an email of the transcript. I'd find it hard to believe that they can't provide that. Maybe they don't WANT to, but very few reporters aren't computerized.

Carol

[JazmenFlowers]

Originally Posted by Violet

I've heard of them. They're pretty big. I actually work for a mom and pop firm. We have about 10 to 12 reporters. The only thing we DON'T provide is real time. If they don't provide a word index, what about an ASCII disk? Or even an email of the transcript. I'd find it hard to believe that they can't provide that. Maybe they don't WANT to, but very few reporters aren't computerized.

Carol

you're probably right.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

I know - esp. in NOLA as there likely is still Katrina related stuff that may delay the posting of rule changes.

And many of the district courts in these podunk Texas towns barely have a website at all. I have to call them for everything, but they're usually pretty cool about it.

I'm working on discovery now for a school district superintendent who "allegedly" showed up drunk at a school function.

[Standback383]

I'm a paralegal

[JazmenFlowers]

Originally Posted by Standback383

I'm a paralegal

bless your heart. welcome to the club. got any funny experiences or anecdotes?

btw, I'm having a blonde moment...when preparing exhibits for trial do you put an exhibit sticker on the original and then copy or copy and then put an original exhibit sticker on each copy?

I can't remember.

[Livia]

We usually put the sticker on the set we're going to copy first, and then make copies.

Sometimes we use tabs for the appendix, or exhibit list, instead of stickers.