legal professionals - Page 5

strandinthewind · #61 08-08-2007, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

I used to feel shackled by Lucifer. He used to literally stalk me, and I am not exaggerating! God forbid I should ever have to empty my bladder or need food and water.

Could you imagine if we worked together

Lunches would be three hours long and we'd get oof at 3:00 to prepare for whatever live music we were going to that night

Bruce would be our receptionist and we'd make him wear a pill box hat everyday!

Livia · #62 08-08-2007, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Could you imagine if we worked together

Lunches would be three hours long and we'd get oof at 3:00 to prepare for whatever live music we were going to that night

Bruce would be our receptionist and we'd make him wear a pill box hat everyday!

JazmenFlowers · #63 08-08-2007, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

Since our attorneys travel so much, I usually always find time to enter time. We've got until the 5th or 7th or so of each month to enter everyone's time - no weekly deadlines.

dear god, I wish mine traveled at all.

Livia · #64 08-08-2007, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betsy

When working at a law firm, always know that when the mud gets to slinging, innocent bystanders, such as myself, can and will get hit....numerous times....so duck...and try not to take it personally.

I love it when the attorneys here fight amongst themselves. Lucifer is almost always involved. It's highly entertaining!

Betsy · #65 08-08-2007, 01:19 PM

Oh, man....this thread is fun...

Timeslips---gotta love 'em. I used to enter them for attorneys whose handwriting varied from great to illegible engraving. Since I used to be an English teacher, I made the STAHOOPID comment that I could read anyone's handwriting...so I got the timeslips job.

I convinced the head boss to move us to Quickbooks Pro (network version) so that the attorneys could enter THEIR OWN TIME (and it has a little stop-watch - clock built in to time project duration). This convinced him...pissed the lawyers off because - quote - "they were doing clerical work" - God forbid....clerical work?????

One baby lawyer drove me NUTS!! She was a pampered female in her 20's who thought her **** didn't stink. She would call her husband (who worked construction) at 4:30 to see if he had supper ready yet. Hubby did all the cooking and cleaning and bought the groceries. The joke around the office, was that her husband would call to see if he could borrow the "balls" for the weekend.

At the office, she was deathly afraid of the phone. I had to make all her calls for her - get the people on the line and then transfer the call to her. I hated it!

One day she and I got into it and she started to CRY....she said that I was making fun of her like the girls in the dorm used to. (Huh?) They made her call for pizza one night and she didn't know how.....Mom always did it for her. (Geez, Leweez...!)

She was a (pretend) macho woman who took pride in the fact that she drove a truck to work. She teased another baby lawyer because in high school he lettered in * band * and not athletics.... and she had a volleyball scholarship. Upon further examination...her graduating class had 30some classmates....

Like I said, I love this thread, because it's my life...in the trenches...and I love reading about the view from your trench...

Betsy · #66 08-08-2007, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

I love it when the attorneys here fight amongst themselves. Lucifer is almost always involved. It's highly entertaining!

When ours fight, there is a lot of slamming of doors...for theatrical effect.

When they sabotage...now THAT'S good entertainment.

We have learned to back up computer files a couple times a day....

JazmenFlowers · #67 08-08-2007, 01:28 PM

damn Betsy - you probably forced ole girl to go to therapy. she needs it though.

Betsy · #68 08-08-2007, 02:23 PM

Some of the baby lawyers were so lazy, they would NOT proofread anything.

I thought that this rule only applied to baby lawyers....not so.

One guy (lawyer) was hired ( in 2003) in his 40's WITH experience ..... and .... get this .... HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TYPE! That question just never came up in the interview process.

He was the bankruptcy/personal injury attorney. He had to have two assistants....one to transcribe and one to be his personal assistant. Well....somehow, somewhere, someone dropped the ball. SOL date was transcribed as "**** out of luck" date instead of statute of limitations....on a motion that was filed with the court. .... and the "Old Testament Judge" was not amused....

God, I had a good laugh over THAT one.

Livia · #69 08-08-2007, 03:06 PM

Hee-hee! SOL!

How f*ckin' babied must one be to not know how to use a telephone? What a freak!

When Lucifer moved his office downstairs and Baby Lawyer moved in, one of the senior partners told her that he'd hoped the Tourette's Syndrome vibe left over from Lucifer wouldn't affect her. Lucifer is famous for screaming and cussing at opposing counsel. His new office is right next to the reception area. We've had to close his door for him so guests don't overhear his potty-mouth rants.

About 2 months ago, Lucifer and one of the senior partners got into it right across the hall from me. And I have NEVER seen this sr. partner get so angry in the 8 years I've worked here. He was slammed, trying to meet a deadline. Lucifer, oblivious to everyone but himself, as usual, wanted sr. partner to read something, and get his opinion. Sr. partner's body language was so obvious, "Leave me alone, can't you see I'm busy?" Lucifer wouldn't back down, sr. partner gave in, read the letter, they started discussing it, and then I kinda tuned them out. Until sr. partner blew a gasket and started screaming, "How DARE you come into my office, interrupt me, ask for my opinion, and then disagree with me?" And then he just started repeating, "Get the F*CK out of my office!" It was a glorious day for me! And it's kept Lucifer from wandering up here ever since.

JazmenFlowers · #70 08-08-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betsy

He was the bankruptcy/personal injury attorney. He had to have two assistants....one to transcribe and one to be his personal assistant. Well....somehow, somewhere, someone dropped the ball. SOL date was transcribed as "**** out of luck" date instead of statute of limitations....on a motion that was filed with the court. .... and the "Old Testament Judge" was not amused....

I swear I've seen this letter. somewhere...it has made rounds on the internet. or at least one similar to that.

well...get this. I just had a 1 hour meeting with mumbler man all over responding to discovery requests. yep, all 15 of them. after an hour of his mumbling and BS, he decided to answer the first one and object to the rest.

camchristo · #71 08-08-2007, 03:27 PM

^ok, this **** is too funny! For the record, I do not act like that. I am nice to my secretary and paralegal because they make my life easier. The only time I get annoyed is if I have to give my secretary a rush job and I get the typical *sigh* from her. Mind you, I rarely have rushes. And she only works for two of us, neither of whom are demanding.

But what really makes me laugh is that the things you guys describe are so typical of attorneys. They really do think they are the ****. And most have huge egos. I hate telling people I'm a lawyer because most people act like it's all special and make a big deal. It's not a big deal. Pretty much anyone could do it. This is also why I've concluded that I don't really like being a lawyer. I really don't like conflict. And I HATE going to court. Don't want to do trial work. That is why I'm fairly happy doing worker's comp defense. Our board is more like an administrative thing than a courtroom setting.

carry on.

JazmenFlowers · #72 08-08-2007, 03:28 PM

^^^
and this? is why I love you bb~

JazmenFlowers · #73 08-08-2007, 03:31 PM

another rant...I've spent ALL DAY searching for terms in deposition transcripts. I hate doing depo searches. no matter how easy it seems or organized you are, it always ends up getting confusing and tedious. 26 down, 34 to go. woot.

JazmenFlowers · #74 08-08-2007, 03:40 PM

oh, and I meant to ask y'all this too. do you have to bill every single damn thing? like, we have to put in a billing number before we print, before we copy, before we make a phone call, etc. it gets SO annoying.

Betsy · #75 08-08-2007, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

oh, and I meant to ask y'all this too. do you have to bill every single damn thing? like, we have to put in a billing number before we print, before we copy, before we make a phone call, etc. it gets SO annoying.

Not only the printer but the copy machine is auditroned, as is the fax machine and the postage meter. You gotta have your timeslips before noon and then again by five because the senior partner has access to the time reports on the network.

I like to watch the lawyers in the morning...

One takes his morning dump WITH the newspaper (crossword puzzle)..
Another eats her oatmeal and checks Ebay auctions...
Another is on match.com to see who's available or winking or whatever they do at/to her..
Another usually comes from court and then strips her pantyhose off in front of us and runs around barefooted..
Another holds her hand up (don't talk to me gesture) as she enters with her mega coffee from Starbucks...
I have to admit....most of the men are on time and get here before work, but the female attorneys...they are the barracudas on a feeding frenzy, so don't get in their way..