The Emmys

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

I think you just argued with yourself, to wit:

How can we be ultimately responsible for our self image when that very self image is forumulated while we are kids (and watching TV or listening to radio or what have you)?? You're apparently saying that at some magical/mythical point, our self image should improve merely by virtue of aging? I cant think of anyone who was able to do that to any degree

And speaking for myself, I was ALWAYS skinny, a size 3 or 5 (and even THEN didnt have a good self image) until my mid to late 30's and then I got heavy relatively quickly. Talk about a real head trip!! Im trying to make peace with who I am at this moment and not stress about trying to recapture my glory days. Truth be told, when I WAS skinny, I had no end of men troubles because they wouldnt leave me alone and I couldnt differentiate between a decent man and a not so decent man, and because of my low self esteem anyway (thanks to my dad and my grandparents) I needed a man's attention for validation. Any man, even a bad one. Now that I am heavier and mostly left alone (except for the boy toys!!), Im HAPPY for the first freaking time in my life! So, these issues are pretty complex and I think the dynamics are more important than a cursory statement about "get out and exercise" or "change your diet". Im a firm believer in baby steps. Do what you can manage and take it in increments.

I didn't contradict myself because once we are mature we can change our beliefs and improve our self-image. We can choose what we see and what we buy into. However, it would be a lot easier if we were exposed to millions of healthy images instead of sick ones, wouldn't it?

I'm also happier single than I've ever been with a man, except for the first couple of months with my first BF and the first couple with Sean. Until they really revealed themselves. My self-image is also better now that I'm heavier but that is a result of maturity.