Redneck's Outhouse, includes mood music!

[WildInTheWind]

I must not be a redneck then!! What the hell is a moon pie and a polecat?!?!

[irishgrl]

40) You shot a cow while hunting.

41) You shot yourself while hunting.

Too funny!

carriage? for a shopping cart? no way!

here's one that drives me crazy: the correct way to say "almond"
we have a bunch of okie transplants since the dust bowl days and they ALL say
amand instead of awlmond (think of the almond joy commercials, thats how its supposed to be said...) ARRGH!

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

DESTROYERS AND USUPERS :mad

I mean I gain ten pounds if I even MF'ING SMELL fried chicken

I hear ya. But at one time my body was the ideal, like in the classic Roman sculptures. Still, I want to be leaner. But with a lifetime of worrying about this stuff I would welcome some relief from it.

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by WildInTheWind

I must not be a redneck then!! What the hell is a moon pie and a polecat?!?!

A moon pie is a most yummy dessert. It has marshmellow filling in between two layers of dough, and then dipped in chocolate!www.moonpie.com/howmade.asp
A polecat is a skunk.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

40) . . . amand instead of awlmond (think of the almond joy commercials, thats how its supposed to be said...) ARRGH!

Main Entry: al·mond
Pronunciation: 'ä-m&nd, 'a-, 'äl-, 'al-
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English almande, from Middle French, from Late Latin amandula, alteration of Latin amygdala, from Greek amygdalE
1 a : the drupaceous fruit of a small tree (Prunus dulcis syn. P. amygdalus) of the rose family with flowers and young fruit resembling those of the peach; especially : its ellipsoidal edible kernel used as a nut b : any of several similar fruits
2 : a tree that produces almonds
[almond illustration]

http://www.merriamwebster.com/cgi-bi...mond&x=18&y=23

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Main Entry: al·mond
Pronunciation: 'ä-m&nd, 'a-, 'äl-, 'al-
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English almande, from Middle French, from Late Latin amandula, alteration of Latin amygdala, from Greek amygdalE
1 a : the drupaceous fruit of a small tree (Prunus dulcis syn. P. amygdalus) of the rose family with flowers and young fruit resembling those of the peach; especially : its ellipsoidal edible kernel used as a nut b : any of several similar fruits
2 : a tree that produces almonds
[almond illustration]

http://www.merriamwebster.com/cgi-bi...mond&x=18&y=23

now, I am not sure WHY you keep resorting to Webster, but I will say that the word "Almond" is correctly pronounced AWL-mond not eh-mand like the Okies do...and this etymology is baffling to say the least, if we can believe your source, it is analgous to part of the brain? HUH??? I think NOT!

and then there is the eponymous ape-ricot instead of ap-ricot! or to-mah-toe instead of to-may-to.....words are FUN arent they?

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

now, I am not sure WHY you keep resorting to Webster, but I will say that the word "Almond" is correctly pronounced AWL-mond not eh-mand like the Okies do...and this etymology is baffling to say the least, if we can believe your source, it is analgous to part of the brain? HUH??? I think NOT!

and then there is the eponymous ape-ricot instead of ap-ricot! or to-mah-toe instead of to-may-to.....words are FUN arent they?

"Okies" (Yer only an Okie if yer Ma & Pa had ya while livin' in Muskogee, Oklahoma...Which I qualify for, Otherwise tis improper to call anyone else an "Okie"...Y'ALL!!!) say "eh-mand"??? I always asked for "one of those gosh darn nuts that's shaped like cousin Jethro's head"

[irishgrl]

Jim Varney aka Ernest P. Worrell. Bar none, one of the best sources for hillarious southernisms: Deep six, the groudhogs are bringin' yer mail....
wanna play bumper tag booger lips? oh there's more but I gotta watch more Ernest movies...

speaking of Ernest movies (well I am!) one of the best is his first, Ernest goes to camp! my fave bit is the kooky cooks who try to recreate the elusive "eggs erroneous" but along the way they also concoct: Lobster Bisque, fettucini Alfredo, chicken pot pie...

ok, now that we all know I am too cornball for words.......I go now.

[The Tower]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

now, I am not sure WHY you keep resorting to Webster, but I will say that the word "Almond" is correctly pronounced AWL-mond not eh-mand like the Okies do...

Ummm... honey, the "l" is silent in almond....

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by estranged4life

"Okies" (Yer only an Okie if yer Ma & Pa had ya while livin' in Muskogee, Oklahoma...Which I qualify for, Otherwise tis improper to call anyone else an "Okie"...Y'ALL!!!) say "eh-mand"??? I always asked for "one of those gosh darn nuts that's shaped like cousin Jethro's head"

if you were a farmer in Oklahoma and the surrounding vicinity, and you came to California during the dust bowl days and your trip was chronicled in The Grapes of Wrath....that makes you an Okie. there are also Arkies. CA has both. course, we also have transplanted Mexicans....and just about every other state and nation....woo hoo~

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by The Tower

Ummm... honey, the "l" is silent in almond....

and we all KNOW that TV is the ultimate Arbiter! ar ar! anyway, pay attention the next time you hear an Almond Joy commercial....they dont say eh-mand, they say Awl-mond. true. and correct too.

[amber]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

and we all KNOW that TV is the ultimate Arbiter! ar ar! anyway, pay attention the next time you hear an Almond Joy commercial....they dont say eh-mand, they say Awl-mond. true. and correct too.

I hate when people say aaamond, too.

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by amber

I hate when people say aaamond, too.

sounds uneducated doesnt it?

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

if you were a farmer in Oklahoma and the surrounding vicinity, and you came to California during the dust bowl days and your trip was chronicled in The Grapes of Wrath....that makes you an Okie. there are also Arkies. CA has both. course, we also have transplanted Mexicans....and just about every other state and nation....woo hoo~

my newly discovered older sister lives in California, And the joke we always heard is that if ya were a farmer who left Oklahoma for California during the dust bowl days (As most Oklahomans do I send my wholehearty F.U. to that movie "the Grapes of Wrath") you're no longer an "okie"...Just an "idiot"!

[dissention]

Originally Posted by sara1998

You might be a Yankee if.... or You're NOT a Redneck if:

1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

2) You think Heinz Ketchup is "SPICY!"

3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.

5) You don't know what a moon pie is.

6) You've never had grain alcohol.

7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra or Spam and Eggs.

8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen were on
road trips.

10) You have no idea what a polecat is.

11) Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes
over your head.

12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

13) You don't have bangs.

14) You can tell the difference between the Mercedes-Benz logo and the
Chrysler Corp. symbol.

15) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his
own TV fishing show.

16) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them
"you guys," even if both of them are women.

17) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.

18) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.

19) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your
university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

20) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

21) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on
an on-ramp on the highway.

22) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores or own
anything resembling coveralls.

23) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Nieman
Marcus.

24) You think milk comes from the grocery store, not from a cow.

25) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of
the road and stopping.

26) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,
Kay Bob, Bob Bob)

27) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.

28) You've never been to a craft show/rodeo/country fair/animal auction.

29) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

30) You can't do your laundry without quarters, though you can manage
without a washboard.

31) You think "RC Cola" is a radio controlled toy.

32) You think "KUDZU" is a cartoon.

33) You agree to go "snipe hunting."

34) You think "goose bumps" at the beach are normal.

35) You think "Goo Goo" is baby talk.

36) You think "Chattahoochee" is something you do on the Internet.

37) You think "Chattahoochee" is a conversation about illegal liquor.

38) You are not afraid to skate on a frozen pond.

39) Your car battery is good to "50 degrees below zero."

40) You shot a cow while hunting.

41) You shot yourself while hunting.

42) You think "baptism" means a little sprinkling.

43) You call a traffic circle, a "ROTARY."

44) You call a shopping cart, a "CARRIAGE."

How true.

But what in the world are polecats and moonpies? I've never heard of them.