Redneck's Outhouse, includes mood music!

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by Brwn_eyes0511

I find this very offensive, considering I am from the south. Perhaps I should go find a KKK site about the joys of making fun of ni---rs! Would that be ok?

ok now:
A) I didnt use the term "redneck" so your ire is misplaced. The owner of the site used the term "redneck" and I just identified it the way they did.
B) I meant no harm in the comment "a breed apart" and if you took offense, I apologise. I myself find many of these "southernisms" very witty and I marvel at the thought processes that can come up with such colorful language.
YOU need to chill.

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Lord love ya for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND - as I am from the South:

25 Ways to Annoy a Yankee


<> Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.


<> Pronounce all one-syllable words with two.


<> When giving directions, end with "it's right down yonder on the left."


<> Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.


<> When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"


<> Talk loudly and often about SEC football or basketball.


<> Refer to every soft drink as a "Coke."


<> Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.


<> Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.


<> Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie, John Michael, Jim Bob, etc.)


<> Frequently bring up the "War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War," always say that "there was nothing civil about it."


<> Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady."


<> Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's not "pee-can."


<> Put Tabasco Sauce on everything.


<> For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!", respond with, "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"


<> When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies...banana ones.


<> Name all of your children "Bubba."


<> Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.


<> "Mash" buttons. "Cut off" lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.


<> Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin' to do" something.


<> Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.


<> Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations..


<> Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions.


"Now go down Jefferson Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station
used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right
there."


"You said left."


"Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I
remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town."


<> Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.


<> Call 'em a Yankee. Works every time.

I think this is my favorite:

Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

that is too too funny!

[Brad]

Well, being from the South, it is so hilarious to read these lists because they really are SO true! I mean, I'm sure others read them and think "this can't be for real," but it is. Especially the way we speak. There are so many things that I just say without thinking about how they sound and can't imagine it any other way. I'll be damned if I ever say "soft drink" or "soda." Oh, and nothing annoys me more than "pop." Ha ha ha! They're all "Cokes." As in, "Do you want a Coke?" "Yes, what kind do you have?" "I've got Dr. Pepper and Sprite."

"Y'all" -- to even attempt to use another word or words there sounds really strange to my ears! The best is making it plural possessive..."what are y'alls plans for tonight?"

Oh, there are so many. But here's a question for the Southerners...I had a college roommate from Arkansas who swore Texas was not "The South." He said at home, every night for dessert they had a piece of white bread soaked in a glass of buttermilk. Has anyone here ever heard of that before or ever tried it? I have to say that was a new one to me. Even his squirrel and dumplings dinners didn't surprise me as I know my grandparents used to eat that growing up. "Where the hell is Eddie? He usually eats these goddamn things!"

Brad

[Brwn_eyes0511]

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

We call it sweet tea here. Regular tea is no sweetner.


Tea is confusing.

Yes it is! But I love mine with lots of sugar! I'm a southern boy through and through!

[Brwn_eyes0511]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

ok now:
A) I didnt use the term "redneck" so your ire is misplaced. The owner of the site used the term "redneck" and I just identified it the way they did.
B) I meant no harm in the comment "a breed apart" and if you took offense, I apologise. I myself find many of these "southernisms" very witty and I marvel at the thought processes that can come up with such colorful language.
YOU need to chill.

Well it was offensive, I guess it just hit me the wrong way. I'm sure you didn't mean it with that intent at all. So, I apologize for going overboard, it's just that I wasn't sure what intentions you had when you posted it.

[WildInTheWind]

Originally Posted by Brad

Oh, and nothing annoys me more than "pop." Ha ha ha!
Brad

Well I am from the midwest...but "pop" annoys the hell outta me too!

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by Brwn_eyes0511

Well it was offensive, I guess it just hit me the wrong way. I'm sure you didn't mean it with that intent at all. So, I apologize for going overboard, it's just that I wasn't sure what intentions you had when you posted it.

no, it was only meant to be FUN!
as to that, I think every part (region) of the USA has its own claims to fame when it comes to colorful speech and I think we all have our turns getting the spotlight on us. I remember when "Valley Girls" was big and all you heard was "totally" or "gag me with a spoon", or "Fast times at Ridgemont High" and you heard everyone say "DUDE" or "Gnarly" or "for sure" so, California had its turn too. But I wasnt offended I thought it was just as stupid sounding as Im sure the rest of the planet did (except the valley people!) and sometimes I'll say "gnarly" ......so, anyway, it really was only meant to be a trip to the lighter side.

as for bread dipped in buttermilk for DESERT! GAG ME WITH A SPOON!

[skcin]

Originally Posted by WildInTheWind

Well I am from the midwest...but "pop" annoys the hell outta me too!

I don't know why. Pop is the correct term, silly!

JK, but we do say pop here. If you ask for soda, you may end up with a tall glass of straight club soda

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

You eat refined white sugar and you have abs - I officially am so jealous that I think I hate you

Welcome to my world. My roommate eats everything and is very thin. I'm in hell.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Welcome to my world. My roommate eats everything and is very thin. I'm in hell.

DESTROYERS AND USUPERS :mad

I mean I gain ten pounds if I even MF'ING SMELL fried chicken

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

DESTROYERS AND USUPERS :mad

I mean I gain ten pounds if I even MF'ING SMELL fried chicken

We've all seen your studley pix Jason so you cant fill our heads with your nonsense!

[sara1998]

I think the site is hilarious. It does have a lot of truth to it. Most of my family are from Tennessee, so I have a lot of southernisms myself, thanks to my mom and grandparents. And, they are very slow moving kind of people, very laid back... relaxed. That's part of what gives the south it's charm. I always said I would retire in Tennessee. I just love it down there. The food, the people, the whole "attitide" is pretty relaxing.

[sara1998]

You might be a Yankee if.... or You're NOT a Redneck if:

1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

2) You think Heinz Ketchup is "SPICY!"

3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.

5) You don't know what a moon pie is.

6) You've never had grain alcohol.

7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra or Spam and Eggs.

8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen were on
road trips.

10) You have no idea what a polecat is.

11) Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes
over your head.

12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

13) You don't have bangs.

14) You can tell the difference between the Mercedes-Benz logo and the
Chrysler Corp. symbol.

15) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his
own TV fishing show.

16) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them
"you guys," even if both of them are women.

17) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.

18) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.

19) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your
university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

20) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

21) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on
an on-ramp on the highway.

22) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores or own
anything resembling coveralls.

23) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Nieman
Marcus.

24) You think milk comes from the grocery store, not from a cow.

25) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of
the road and stopping.

26) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,
Kay Bob, Bob Bob)

27) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.

28) You've never been to a craft show/rodeo/country fair/animal auction.

29) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

30) You can't do your laundry without quarters, though you can manage
without a washboard.

31) You think "RC Cola" is a radio controlled toy.

32) You think "KUDZU" is a cartoon.

33) You agree to go "snipe hunting."

34) You think "goose bumps" at the beach are normal.

35) You think "Goo Goo" is baby talk.

36) You think "Chattahoochee" is something you do on the Internet.

37) You think "Chattahoochee" is a conversation about illegal liquor.

38) You are not afraid to skate on a frozen pond.

39) Your car battery is good to "50 degrees below zero."

40) You shot a cow while hunting.

41) You shot yourself while hunting.

42) You think "baptism" means a little sprinkling.

43) You call a traffic circle, a "ROTARY."

44) You call a shopping cart, a "CARRIAGE."

[amber]

Originally Posted by sara1998

You might be a Yankee if.... or You're NOT a Redneck if:

1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

2) You think Heinz Ketchup is "SPICY!"

3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.

5) You don't know what a moon pie is.

6) You've never had grain alcohol.

7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra or Spam and Eggs.

8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen were on
road trips.

10) You have no idea what a polecat is.

11) Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes
over your head.

12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

13) You don't have bangs.

14) You can tell the difference between the Mercedes-Benz logo and the
Chrysler Corp. symbol.

15) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his
own TV fishing show.

16) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them
"you guys," even if both of them are women.

17) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.

18) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.

19) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your
university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

20) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

21) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on
an on-ramp on the highway.

22) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores or own
anything resembling coveralls.

23) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Nieman
Marcus.

24) You think milk comes from the grocery store, not from a cow.

25) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of
the road and stopping.

26) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,
Kay Bob, Bob Bob)

27) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.

28) You've never been to a craft show/rodeo/country fair/animal auction.

29) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

30) You can't do your laundry without quarters, though you can manage
without a washboard.

31) You think "RC Cola" is a radio controlled toy.

32) You think "KUDZU" is a cartoon.

33) You agree to go "snipe hunting."

34) You think "goose bumps" at the beach are normal.

35) You think "Goo Goo" is baby talk.

36) You think "Chattahoochee" is something you do on the Internet.

37) You think "Chattahoochee" is a conversation about illegal liquor.

38) You are not afraid to skate on a frozen pond.

39) Your car battery is good to "50 degrees below zero."

40) You shot a cow while hunting.

41) You shot yourself while hunting.

42) You think "baptism" means a little sprinkling.

43) You call a traffic circle, a "ROTARY."

44) You call a shopping cart, a "CARRIAGE."

Thanks, Maria!

[gldstwmn]

Originally Posted by sara1998

38) You are not afraid to skate on a frozen pond.

Did that many times. I miss ice skating.