Why Men Are Happier

sparky · #1 09-11-2004, 04:51 PM

I know this is a silly thing that just gets emailed, but I thought it was funny. Feel free to comment, edit, or add to it. I will !

Why Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect
from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn
a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking
to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood -- all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all
seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

amber · #2 09-11-2004, 04:55 PM

That was funny, thanks for posting.
AMber

Johnny Stew · #3 09-11-2004, 05:02 PM

That was funny, Sparky... thanks for posting it.

And I'd like to add one for the "Why Gay Men Are Even Happier" file: When you have a boyfriend, you can instantly double your wardrobe.

sparky · #4 09-11-2004, 05:07 PM

I guess some of my comments give away the fact that I am a big friggin Homo.

Quote:

The garage is all yours.

I have no garage.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

I don't want one, and couldn't have one !

Chocolate is just another snack.

I hate chocolate.

You can be President.

See the marriage comment.

You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

After cumulative MONTHS of my life at the gym, yes I can.

Wrinkles add character.

THE JURY IS STILL OUT ON THIS ONE.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.

I bought a Tux - $950.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking
to them.

When they do, it makes my day.

One mood -- all the time.

If only.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

My phone bill would give this away. NOT.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.

Ask my ex-boyfriends about this.

Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.

Not even during the Calvin Klein 25% off sale.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

I OWN MORE THAN THREE PAIRS OF COWBOY BOOTS ALONE.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

I don't live in Oregon anymore.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

NO COMMENT.

You can play with toys all your life.

NO COMMENT.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

See T-shirt comment.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all
seasons.

HA ! The belts and shoes are about needing their own side of the closet. I have swanky parties to go to.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.

Indeed. It's the wrapping them that takes days.

sparky · #5 09-11-2004, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

That was funny, Sparky... thanks for posting it.

And I'd like to add one for the "Why Gay Men Are Even Happier" file: When you have a boyfriend, you can instantly double your wardrobe.

One of many reasons that the next boyfriend will be within an inch of my height and close to my weight. The last one was 6'2" and 190. But, we did wear the same size shoes. I still have a great pair of caterpillar work boots of his in the closet. LOL.

Johnny Stew · #6 09-11-2004, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

People never stare at your chest when you're talking
to them.

When they do, it makes my day.

No one's ever looked at my chest! It's heartbreaking.

I don't know why women get so upset about it, some guys would kill to have folks ogle their chest!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.

Not even during the Calvin Klein 25% off sale.

Didn't you get the memo that we're only allowed to wear 2(x)ist briefs now? For shame.
Actually, I bucked the system... I don't wear any!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

You only have to shave your face and neck.

NO COMMENT.

You can play with toys all your life.

NO COMMENT.

wondergirl9847 · #7 09-11-2004, 05:24 PM

Those are just some reasons why I wish I were a man. LOL!!!

Kidding, I'm a tomboy...close enough.

sparky · #8 09-11-2004, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

Didn't you get the memo that we're only allowed to wear 2(x)ist briefs now? For shame.
Actually, I bucked the system... I don't wear any!

2(x)ist ? Too Weho for me. Sparky is old school.

None !

Scandalous.

Johnny Stew · #9 09-11-2004, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

Scandalous.

Scandalous? No.

Comfy? YES!

The Tower · #10 09-12-2004, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

Comfy? YES!

Comfy??? No.....

Pinchy??? Hell, yeah!!!

GoldDustGypsy03 · #11 09-12-2004, 04:03 PM

Men

The reason on why i'm feministic

dissention · #12 09-12-2004, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

The world is your urinal.

I get a real kick out of public restrooms. Guys are always sizing each other up as discreetly as possible. Then, after they've shaken it all out and zip up, they grab their pants, lift them up, and look down as if they want to make sure it's still there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

Wrinkles add character.

Roc and Serious Skin Care are my best friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

They don't?

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

One mood -- all the time.

I'm worse than a grandma during a particularly doozy of a hot flash.