Just Skimmed Through STORMS

[michelej1]

Originally Posted by elle

yes, i think that's what one has to be very careful about, when talking about this book. many arguments i read on here were along the lines "she must have not been blameless" if it happened. blameless or not, it does not justify the abuse, period.

I agree with you, with one proviso. Just because someone is stronger than you, you can't use physical force against them either. Women should not be hit or pulled or pushed or yanked by the arm or held or restrained or intimidated with one of those, "you better do it or else," scowls. No one should. But they can't do that either.

I have encountered people with the mentality that they can engage in a violent act, but because there's little chance they can actually hurt the person, it's no big deal. Like, I'm so angry I'll just slap my boyfriend in exasperation, but he shouldn't hit me back because he could actually hurt ME, but I can't hurt him. So, I'll just smack him in a fit of pique.

That can't be done. You should not be the victim of physical aggression and you can't engage in it either, even if (practically speaking) coming from you, it's relatively harmless.

I mean, it's the same thing you tell a child, "I don't hit you and I don't expect you to hit me," even if they're still a toddler and their swats don't hurt.

Michele