Just Skimmed Through STORMS

[Iktomi]

I try not to get too interested into the lives of Fleetwood Mac members, but I did receive this book as a gift and gave it a read. I'm a fan of Lindsey Buckingham the musician. And I think the man himself is personally interesting, as far as I find any other genius musician goes. So let me just put that out there first. Yet as someone with various experiences and knowledge on domestic violence, this book was of more interest to me in that regards, especially considering Harris' mindset when she wrote it.

Autobiographies deal mostly with perspectives (in other words, every autobiography is going to have inaccuracies and subjective accounts). While I felt that the author exaggerated in areas for effect and was likely inaccurate in her details, I personally didn't feel that she was lying about Lindsey being an abusive man during this time period. Not only by what she says explicitly, but rather implicitly as well. His characteristics and behaviors, without her even meaning to at times, really do describe the behaviors associated with men who are abusive. He had control and anger issues, and those issues have been documented/corroborated by others as well. Some of his lyrics also seem to reflect this mindset, and while not something you should rely on exclusively, the way he held her (the stern hugs (holds rather) around her neck) and his sometimes aggressive nature in bed seem to be consistent with the body language of abusive men. So much of what I read from Harris herself, her behaviors and mindset, are similar to that of victimized women as well. She blamed herself a lot, and forgave him way too easily; and even when the book was written, had a habit of apologizing for him (which shocked me, honestly). She never really took him to task for his abusive behavior or provided any sort of reflection on being a victim of abuse.

If you want to focus on proof, she did provide outside witnesses that could have easily discounted her allegations. Two of the moments that stick out to me were moments where the band members saw Lindsey abusing Carol. I don't remember either of them clearly (so I could be off), but in one scene, Carol describes Lindsey angrily threatening and pulling her towards their vehicle. Carol goes on to describe that as Lindsey was pulling her, she saw Stevie's concerned reaction (this actually touched me as I also read it as "knowing" reaction on Stevie's part, who I think from experience knew what Carol was going through.) If I remember correctly though, Carol expressed how it looked as if Stevie was going to possibly intervene but her friends seemed to have pulled her away. And everyone else just basically looked the other way.

The other moment I remember was when she described how Lindsey was dragging her by the hair in the car right in front of Christine, and when Lindsey let go and left, Christine, clearly shakened, helped her up afterwards. I don't remember what really happened after that, but I'm pretty sure Lindsey probably apologized and Carol accepted it, but nobody held Lindsey accountable for that (which is a totally different discussion). But what struck me with that scene was how after he first hit her, Carol ran after him basically trying to explain and justify herself (again, typical behavior patterns within abusive relationships)

Not only does she show that there were witnesses to this violence, but it really demonstrates their mindsets. Most woman, if slapped or hit, aren't going to run to the man who hit him and trying to explain or justify themselves, begging for him to listen. She constantly excuses him, and rarely demonizes him for his actions.

I'm not trying to start any sort of argument about Lindsey Buckingham (personally, I believe abusive men can be rehabilitated), but I think people should be a little more aware of the realities of domestic violence, and the mindsets involved and should not be so quick to dismiss her story on those accounts. We're all fans of FM and should be aware of the biases we have going into reading this. Sociologically, her description of the pattern of reactions and behaviors seems pretty consistent throughout. And not to criticize Harris, but she doesn't seem creative enough to be able to make all of this up, especially considering how much she reveals without even meaning to.

Anyway, my two cents.

Also, thought I'd throw this in here considering the topic:

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/warning_signs.html

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/dome...es_effects.htm