Suicide And Morality

[Silver Springs]

please.. I shouldnt have made this thread......****.... im sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorry

[sara1998]

Please don't apologize for making this thread. Not enough people are willing to talk about it. As far as the moral piece, I personally believe you didn't learn what you were supposed to while you were here if you commit suicide. I think you come back with the same problems over and over again until your soul has learned how to deal with the problems plaguing your life.

Think of the two people you love the most and who love you most in your life. Try to understand how you would feel if either one of them took their life. Understand that the feelings you might have will haunt you the rest of your life. Multiply it by 100. They say the person who commits suicide dies one death, but the survivors die 1000 deaths. We die over and over again trying to figure what went wrong and if we could have changed anything.

My husband committed suicide almost 8 years ago. I still struggle with why. We had so many high points to experience that would eventually overshadow the hell my husband was going through. A temporary problem for my husband caused my daughter to permanently live without her father. No one wins.

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by sara1998

Please don't apologize for making this thread. Not enough people are willing to talk about it.

Agreed. I'm a huge proponent of discussing the very things that people are least comfortable discussing. The very virtue that people are unwilling to talk about this taboo topic is proof that it does indeed need to be discussed in an open fashion. Which is one of the reasons why this thread will not be deleted. Accountability is the second reason.

Regarding morality... I hate that so many people struggle with that subject. I strictly do not believe in a one size fits all morality. Morality and beliefs are individual... look at it as the most personal, intimate, and lasting relationship of your entire life. Only the individual knows what's right when it comes to their relationship with their beliefs. If one questions whether or not a certain action is harmonious with their beliefs, that tells me they probably think it's not. If you question what you say or do after you've done it, that says you probably know what you've said or done is wrong. Trust your first instincts before acting... they're usually what's right for YOU.

[Meowi]

Would this thread be appropriate though?

[Dodfather]

Bee - please, please seek some help if you are having problems. Having just very recently lost a good friend to suicide I cannot tell you how heartbreaking it is for people to realise that more could/should have been done to help him. Yes, there is anger towards him but mostly it's an overwhelming sadness that although we knew he was having problems, we didn't realise just how severe they were.

Had we known, we may not have been equipped to deal with it but we could have tried our best to get him help from those who experienced with this. Please give people the chance to help you.

Also, take comfort from the fact that you reached out to us on this board in the first place. This is a positive step which must have taken a lot of courage. Build on that and, if you can, take the next step towards helping yourself.

Sorry if this post doesn;t make much sense, this is just a very raw subject for me at the moment.

[McTrouble]

Originally Posted by sara1998

Please don't apologize for making this thread. Not enough people are willing to talk about it. As far as the moral piece, I personally believe you didn't learn what you were supposed to while you were here if you commit suicide. I think you come back with the same problems over and over again until your soul has learned how to deal with the problems plaguing your life.

Think of the two people you love the most and who love you most in your life. Try to understand how you would feel if either one of them took their life. Understand that the feelings you might have will haunt you the rest of your life. Multiply it by 100. They say the person who commits suicide dies one death, but the survivors die 1000 deaths. We die over and over again trying to figure what went wrong and if we could have changed anything.

My husband committed suicide almost 8 years ago. I still struggle with why. We had so many high points to experience that would eventually overshadow the hell my husband was going through. A temporary problem for my husband caused my daughter to permanently live without her father. No one wins.

You are very brave to speak out on this subject.

There are some dark subjects coming out on here at the moment and I think a lot of people are feeling jittery - I personally think it is a downside of these sites.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by McTrouble

You are very brave to speak out on this subject.

There are some dark subjects coming out on here at the moment and I think a lot of people are feeling jittery - I personally think it is a downside of these sites.

Downside? I disagree, strongly. Quite the contrary. I think it allows us to find strength, in our little community here. For us to understand, that most of us have lost someone to suicide, but also, for us to understand, that we ALL have our down moments in life, and that they WILL pass. To find the inner strength, patience, and love, that allows us to find the greater things that await us.

[bluefox4000]

Oh I agree. And hopefully Those stories help others. IMO these things must be discussed. I've learned that despite the darkness out there. there ARE People who care.

Mick

[HomerMcvie]

^^^We need a f*cking "like" button on here.

[bluefox4000]

Thankee

Mick

[McTrouble]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Downside? I disagree, strongly. Quite the contrary. I think it allows us to find strength, in our little community here. For us to understand, that most of us have lost someone to suicide, but also, for us to understand, that we ALL have our down moments in life, and that they WILL pass. To find the inner strength, patience, and love, that allows us to find the greater things that await us.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not unsympathetic (and Bee in particular who's having a rocky time knows this) - but I am such a pragmatist.

Open discussion is all very well, but it can sometimes backfire - it can cause confusion to the person needing help because of conflicting views between people trying to give advice, although I know full well they are full of good intentions and only trying to help.

And too much sympathy could maybe cause a person to wallow even more as it might get a bit addictive.

I am all for talking things out but I'd rather see someone do it through proper professional channels if they are in a bad place.

However you are fully entitled to disagree with me and I respect that.

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by McTrouble

You are very brave to speak out on this subject.

There are some dark subjects coming out on here at the moment and I think a lot of people are feeling jittery - I personally think it is a downside of these sites.

Thank you.

What scares me is from my own experience. A lady my husband worked with lost her husband to suicide 9 months prior to my husband taking his own life. Sometimes, I think my husband thought that Laura did well after her husband died. He saw that life for her went on, and I think he realized that life would carry on for me as well. What he didn't see is that people have to continue the pace of life, but that doesn't mean the survivors are functioning mentally. It scares me to share my story because I don't want anyone considering it to think that I'm doing fine and dandy. Quite the contrary. While I have learned that life continues, it's still a void that cannot be filled. Not only in my life, but in my daughters. It's my cross to bear.

[McTrouble]

Originally Posted by sara1998

Thank you.

What scares me is from my own experience. A lady my husband worked with lost her husband to suicide 9 months prior to my husband taking his own life. Sometimes, I think my husband thought that Laura did well after her husband died. He saw that life for her went on, and I think he realized that life would carry on for me as well. What he didn't see is that people have to continue the pace of life, but that doesn't mean the survivors are functioning mentally. It scares me to share my story because I don't want anyone considering it to think that I'm doing fine and dandy. Quite the contrary. While I have learned that life continues, it's still a void that cannot be filled. Not only in my life, but in my daughters. It's my cross to bear.

All I can say is that I wish you and your daughter well.

[Silver Springs]

i wish i could go back in time and bottle all this up again like i have done for so long. to tell other people that i am *insert the s word here* only brings up bad memories for you all....i should just leave you all in peace. im sorry

[mezzoforte]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

i wish i could go back in time and bottle all this up again like i have done for so long. to tell other people that i am *insert the s word here* only brings up bad memories for you all....i should just leave you all in peace. im sorry

That's the absolute last thing you should be worrying about.

You're going through a lot right now, and you shouldn't be bottling anything up. If it helps to talk about it here, that's wonderful.
I agree with others, though, that you should also call a help line, or consult a therapist. I think everyone here is happy to offer sympathy and personal stories, but most of us are not trained professionals, and can't offer the help it sounds like you need.