what is this i don't even

[holidayroad]

Originally Posted by Zombie

Ay yi yi. Yeah, when I was doing the counseling/mentoring thing with the younger girls, I heard all manner of craziness like that, but when you ask them where they get such ideas, they just stare at you - they don't know. I mean, yes, I got pregnant at a rather young age, but I knew/know exactly how and why that happened.

What's even worse to me, though, is that many of the girls that are pregnant just do NOT understand what is in store for them. A lot of them think it will be fun and games, and life will carry on just as carefree and party-filled as it was before. I would try to explain, "No, no, you just don't get it, listen to me, you need to be aware of what's going to happen once that baby is born," but I don't think I got through all that often.

The one girl I do remember getting through to for sure wasn't even affected by my talk of the actual birth, the endless sleepless nights, the constant need of another small human that can't do for itself, etc. What WAS this barely 15 year old affected by, then, you may wonder?

My freakin' stretch marks.

She was all, "Oh, I know, I know, it won't be that bad," and I got frustrated, and said, "You don't get it. Everything will change. I don't even look the same way I did before the baby."

"You look the same to me."

So I jerked up my shirt and showed her my stomach, and THAT got her attention. "Oh my god!" Yeah, honey. Oh my god. *facepalm*

It's hard to get a lot of teens to listen when you tell them these things. I think the only way most will is if you have someone their age who has been through it tell them. Even if someone had a baby as a teen, if you are no longer a teen when telling them, it's just like "Well, she doesn't know how it really is."
To anyone I interact with on message boards or whatever that has statements like 'I'm15 year old and ready to have a baby.' I try to get then to understand the point that, once you have a baby, a lot of people treat you like you don't matter anymore and all they focus on is the baby. Your wants/needs cease to matter.'
They have no idea how much preparation and money a baby can take and what kind of problems can arise. I was almost 28 before I had a baby. I was married, had a home, had health insurance that would cover a new baby, had the means to financially afford a child, and my husband and I worked hard to have a substantial amount of money to put in savings, because you never know what could come up. We were as prepared as we could be. Good thing we did that, because our son was born with a lot of health problems and our savings had to be used for getting to the hospital where our son was having surgery (100 miles away) missed work, hospital bills, medicine, doctor visits, etc.
Most of the teens that are pregnant have no money of their own, no insurance of their own, and have made no plans about who will support the child financially or about who will care for their child if they decide to finish school. There was a lot of planning we did before we had a child and we still had issues. These teens act like all you do is give birth to the baby and then life goes back to 'normal'. I wish they would get how their normal is now being fully responsible for a new life.