June 16, 2002-June 16, 2012

[vivfox]

Today I am cigarette free for 10 freakin' years!!!!!!!!!!!!

I chainsmoked for 20 solid years. I quit at age 40 like I always told myself I would. I quit cold turkey and ate everything in site for several months and gained 30 lbs. I knew that would happen but I told myself I would rather be fat than a cigarette smoker. There were many times I would have pain discomfort in my upper arms, near the shoulders and this is a sign of a possible future heart attack. In those days I used to throw up fairly frequently. Not from anorexia, just from feeling sickly or queasy. It didn't take long after I finally quit to realize the nicotene was the culprit making me puke. I never knew it at the time though.

I had cravings everyday, four times a day for 11 months. Each craving would last about 15-45 seconds. I would each time take deep breaths, in and out as if I was puffing on a smoke and that would calm the craving and make it go away.

Cigarettes were very expensive when I quit at $4.50 a pack. I'm not one to waste money so when I decided it was time to end this terrible habit I smoked to the very last cig in the pack and before I smoked that last one I looked at it long and hard and said to myself, "this represents the last day of high school. No matter how bad you want to return to school because life was so much easier then, you can never return, no matter what." And so I smoked that last cigarette and any craving I had after that I would tell myself, "the last day of high school; the last smoke of my life."

I am a survivor and a fighter. I'm a risk taker and I'm a winner. I quit cold turkey with no help from a patch or an electronic cigarette or a hypnotist. I just quit and I was successful and here I am 10 years later, to the day to share my story with you.

I didn't escape the habit without paying a price though. I used to tell myself, "someday you are going to have to pay a price for putting all this nicotene in your body." I always figured it would be some form of cancer and I am LUCKY that was not the case. Instead I developed sleep apnea. This is a scary condition that occurs while one is sleeping. All of a sudden the body wakes itself up and you realize you can't breathe. So I would stand up quickly and gasp for air and pray to God to spare my life. A piece of torn skin in my throat caused by all the puking would block my air passage in a lying down position. Surgery can remove that but it is not always successful in stopping the effects of sleep apnea.

These attacks in the night started slowly. It only happened once in a while. They eventually increased from twice a month to several times a month to about 4 days a week. I was absolutely terrified to go to sleep for many years and would not until I was extremely tired. I figured it wouldn't happen if I was in a deep sleep. WRONG, it happened anyway.

I discovered from research that sleep apnea occurs when the heart stops beating for a second. Many people aren't as lucky as I was. They simply have a heart attack and die. But it isn't sudden. It's slow and painful and they are very aware of what is happening to them while it happens. They can't breathe and they literally suffocate and it must be terrifying to go through.

I quit at aged 40 but it wasn't until age 45 that I had health insurance and was diagnosed with this disease. Since then I sleep every night with a device that allows me to breathe evenly and prevents attacks from occuring. In the beginning of this device use I would have an attack here and there but instantly the machine would rectify the problem. I wear one of those types of masks you see hospital patients wear to help them breath before, during and after operations. I wear this mask evry night faithfully. It's not comfortable. It's sort of claustrophobic but I am so grateful to have it because of what it does for me that I have embraced it and welcome it. It has saved my life.

After quitting cigs I continued to smoke pot and eventually the attacks increased again so I did the same thing with the weed. I quit and I must quit for life. In a couple of weeks I will be drug and alcohol free for three and a half years. Like I mentioned before I am a fighter and a survivor.

I am a sensiblefighter.

I'm hoping these words will be an inspiration for the loved ones we know. I am posting here on my favorite website and will be sending it out in an e mail to evryone I know. This is not directed at any one person. My purpose of these words is to provide hope and encouragement to anyone you know who is a smoker and would like to stop.

[Macfanforever]

Congrats Viv.I never picked up the dirty habit.But the booze and beer dept I did. and I dump that habit probably 25 years ago.The soda pop habit now I'm working on.Also I'm walking more too.

[poetinmyheart]

An inspiring post. Congratulations

[iamnotafraid]

I'm glad you quit smoking Viv.

[vivfox]

Originally Posted by iamnotafraid

I'm glad you quit smoking Viv.

It was 4:20 pm when I read this.