Advice about moving

[thatgirlwasme]

Hi everyone--I don't usually post much on this forum, but I'd like to get your thoughts on a big life decision my husband and I are trying to make. We currently live in Madison, WI, where he is finishing his PhD. He just got offered a 1 year visiting position at the University of Arizona in Tucson, and we are pretty certain he will take it, as nothing else is on the horizon.

I have a job here in Madison that I really love, but have been having frustrations about recently. It's likely that my husband would then get another, more permanent job the following year. We have always talked about that if he got a 1 year position, I would stay in Madison and he would move for a year, and then I would join him afterwards when he got a permanent job, so as to limit my having to find 2 new jobs rather than one. Given the fact that I have been frustrated and feeling underappreciated in my current job for the past few months, I'm feeling very conflicted about moving.

Sorry for the long-winded explanation, but my dilemma is--do I stay or go? Practically speaking, it makes sense for me to stay in Madison to avoid additional moving costs, and to maintain my current job, as it is uncertain what opportunities are in Tucson for me, and likely that I would be joining him the following summer. On the other hand, it is a little exciting for me to think about going somewhere new given the fact that my current job is frustrating. I don't want to make an emotional decision. Any advice? Oh, we don't have kids, by the way if anyone was wondering.

Thanks for any thoughts!

Anne

[cristochango]

I say go for it, moving mixes things up, it sounds like your husband will have a good job there, and you'll find one no problem.

Idk, at least when I read it it sounded like you said more pro's about moving then staying where you are. maybe a subconcious thing?

Hope I helped

[louielouie2000]

I'm not of the most practical mindset when it comes to these things, but I say never turn down a new adventure when you're presented with it! Life is short... experience it in as many places, and from as many different points of view as you can! I try to make decisions that are NOT based out of fear, either... so I wouldn't stay in WI because I feared not finding a job. My opinion is highly biased though... because I want to do a cross country move so badly I can taste it.

[vivfox]

I lived in Phoenix for a very long time. Tucson is a 2 hour drive to the south. Tuscon is a very beautiful city surrounded by very large mountains. You will LOVE the lightning storms there in the summer months. I'd say GO FOR IT!!!!!!

[holidayroad]

I also say 'go for it'. It's always great to have new experiences! Also, why not take the year off? (unless you absolutely have to work) Or get a part time job. Part of having a new experience is having the time to enjoy it.

[TrueFaith77]

I went to undergrad in madison. Had lots of fun. I was famous. I had purple hair.

[KarmaContestant]

Take the plunge! Life is short and a new path is opening before you - explore it! The southwestern U.S. is a *great* place to live.

[BTFLCHLD]

My bro recently left tucson for maine; he also previously held position at the college in Tempe.

In my opinion, if possible, schedule a vacation as available and visit the area before leaving the job you love. Also keep in mind that, if your husband doesn't like the area or the position, he may well not want to remain after the year.

[HejiraNYC]

My vote is to wait a year and then move. I think moving again after a year is too much drama. And in this economy, there is a greater likelihood that your search for new employment in Tucson could be difficult, especially if you are currently making a good living. Plus, for all you know, after a year your husband may come back with a permanent job in Madison. Moving is SUCH a horrific experience, so the less you do it, the better off you are.

[Tango]

Do you like the desert, the fact that season's don't change? Do you like cactus rather than green grass and trees, season changes? Do you like HOT summers? Do you hate shoveling snow?

Tucson, like any city has it's extremes in terms of wealthy and poor. There are golf resorts, places to visit in the spring and summer that tourists love, where some old movies and tv shows were filmed. It's near "Old Tucson," a hokey tourist trap that acts out some of the "old west" themes. It's close to Tombstone and the "OK Coral" stuff . Do you like native american stuff? It's there. Do you like latino stuff? It's there. Do you like western stuff? It's there.




It's close to Suguaro National Park if you love the desert and giant cactus



Do you like "white winged doves"? They live there, and hang out in the cactus.




The landscape is mostly gray/brown year around. Do you like that sort of landscape? Look at the pictures. There isn't a lot of "weather," but there is some rain as noted previously. People disappear during the summer. I agree with visiting there before moving, especially if it means giving up a job you love, one that pays the bills. It's a tough economy in Arizona, as much as anywhere. Air condtioned stores, cars, homes, but it's "cold" in the desert at night. When you fly over, it seems like everyone has a swimming pool.







Scorpions, snakes, coyotes . . . this "diary" has been passed around:

People who move to Arizona, though, can easily identify with it. You'd better read this--this could be your diary!

Arizona Diary

May 15th: Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 108 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, work in an air-conditioned office. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days of work; what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 25th: Dry heat, my butt. Hot is hot! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged $250 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,600 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4th: 115 degrees! Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1,200 and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate this [expletive deleted] state.

August 8th: If another wise a** cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his [expletive deleted] throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and no deodorant works well enough!

August 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny. It's been too hot to sleep for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert? $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the [expletive deleted] pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat.

August 14th: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 120 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the [expletive deleted] windshield out of the BMW. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,600 house payment to bail me out of jail.

August 30th: Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The [expletive deleted] monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The BMW is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. nobody told me about staying out of the washes during a "flash flood" warning. That does it. We're moving back to California and buying a house next to the freeway for some peace and quiet.

[Tango]

You may enjoy this person's website:






Meet kokopelli, fertility deity
You'll see this figure everywhere.


Dust in the wind, all's they are is dust in the wind. Yeah, and in your living room, kitchen, bedroom, clothes closet . . . .





ARIZONA
- anonymous
The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home.
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Arizona
A place both wretched and rough.
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall.
He dried up the lakes in the valleys,
Than baked and scorched it all.
Then over his barren desert
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear,
The climate suited them well.
Now, the home was much to his liking,
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures,
That all mankind would shun.
First he made the Rattlesnake
With poison fangs and forked tongue;
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.
Then he made Scorpions and Lizards
And the ugly old Horned Toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted,
And the old Horned Toad looked ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would.
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.
Twas summer now and Satan lay,
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow,
So he took off his coat and vest.
"By Golly," he finally panted,
"I did my job too well, I'm going
Back where I came from,
Arizona is hotter than Hell."

-opalcat.com

[David]

Originally Posted by thatgirlwasme

Hi everyone--I don't usually post much on this forum, but I'd like to get your thoughts on a big life decision my husband and I are trying to make. We currently live in Madison, WI, where he is finishing his PhD. He just got offered a 1 year visiting position at the University of Arizona in Tucson, and we are pretty certain he will take it, as nothing else is on the horizon.

I have a job here in Madison that I really love, but have been having frustrations about recently. It's likely that my husband would then get another, more permanent job the following year. We have always talked about that if he got a 1 year position, I would stay in Madison and he would move for a year, and then I would join him afterwards when he got a permanent job, so as to limit my having to find 2 new jobs rather than one. Given the fact that I have been frustrated and feeling underappreciated in my current job for the past few months, I'm feeling very conflicted about moving.

Sorry for the long-winded explanation, but my dilemma is--do I stay or go? Practically speaking, it makes sense for me to stay in Madison to avoid additional moving costs, and to maintain my current job, as it is uncertain what opportunities are in Tucson for me, and likely that I would be joining him the following summer. On the other hand, it is a little exciting for me to think about going somewhere new given the fact that my current job is frustrating. I don't want to make an emotional decision.

You don't say:

1) How old you are
2) Whether your husband will probably work in Arizona after his 1-year visiting position
3) What field you'd be looking for a job in
4) Whether you two will be paying two mortgages simultaneously

All these matters -- & more -- play a very important role in your decision. I further don't understand how or why you love your job while still feeling frustrated & underappreciated. What do you love about your job? Would you necessarily have to move when your husband moves? Would you need to sell your house in Madison? How long would that take? Would you take a hit on it? Even if you decide to move, can't you stay in Madison until you secure yourself a job in Tucson?

The job market, by the way, is as bad in Arizona as it is anywhere in the western U.S. -- which is to say pretty bad. People are spending 6, 8, 10, or more months finding a decent job. Can you & your husband get by on his salary alone if need be?

There is so much to think about, to solve. I wouldn't take the advice of anyone to "go for it," "mix things up," or "take the plunge." Not in this economy. That's why I asked you how old you are. You can be a lot more reckless & spontaneous in your 20s in a rotten economy, but if you're in your 40s or older, you'd better take a far more measured, logical approach. You'd better give every step serious thought.

[thatgirlwasme]

Wow! Thanks for all of the thoughtful responses! I knew you all would come through for me! I have decided to "go for it" and move, as we found out there is a good chance the job will turn into a 2-year position. It's certainly stressful, but exciting as well. I have never been to the Southwest, and I'm excited to experience a new part of the country.

To the desert!!! Hey, if Stevie loves it . . . .

A

[LukeA]

Originally Posted by thatgirlwasme

Wow! Thanks for all of the thoughtful responses! I knew you all would come through for me! I have decided to "go for it" and move, as we found out there is a good chance the job will turn into a 2-year position. It's certainly stressful, but exciting as well. I have never been to the Southwest, and I'm excited to experience a new part of the country.

To the desert!!! Hey, if Stevie loves it . . . .

A

Best of luck and prosperity!

[iamnotafraid]

Originally Posted by David

There is so much to think about, to solve. I wouldn't take the advice of anyone to "go for it," "mix things up," or "take the plunge." You can be a lot more reckless & spontaneous in your 20s in a rotten economy, but if you're in your 40s or older, you'd better take a far more measured, logical approach. You'd better give every step serious thought.

Dang David, I was just about to say "move", but then as always you made me think!