The 86 Rules of Drinking

[Livia]

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.co...ooze_rules.htm

[Sarah]

68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.

YEAH

That annoys the piss out of me. Get it and go ON already.

[TwistedGypsy]

I'm a bartender so please especially follow these rules:

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

9.Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store. <-----That should be #1 you cheap bastards!

38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.

40. If you have ever told a bartender, “Hey, it all spends the same,” then you are a cheap ass.

43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.

63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.

64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.<-----So true.

77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with “I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . .”

[Livia]

I almost missed last call once, cuz I was stuck behind a dude who ordered 4 Mojitos. Luckily, I knew the bartender and I still got my easy-to-make vodka and cranberry.