Screech!

mikeschmike · #1 09-27-2006, 09:38 AM

With all of these tragic events in the news lately, I thought you all might appreciate a little comic relief. Courtesy of the New York Daily News and Perezhilton.com:

Quote:

Porn star's name
may ring a 'Bell'

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.
Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

"Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2."

Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity."

"I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings."

In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls."

The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell." Ewwwww.

strandinthewind · #2 09-27-2006, 09:47 AM

AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can we play remove that image from my brain

Okay - go here for a definition of the Dirty Sanchez.

Warning, though an animation, it is VERY VERY graphic and disgusting - while remaining hysterical

http://www.spazfarm.com/biff2.php [WARNING -- OVER 18 ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

sara1998 · #3 09-27-2006, 09:51 AM

That's about enough... eww. eww. eww.....

skcin · #4 09-27-2006, 09:57 AM

Wasn't he just in People magazine whining that he was broke & was going to lose his house? Pretty convenient - looks like he'll try to make some cash off of this. Although, I don't knw who'd want to buy it.

carrie721 · #5 09-27-2006, 10:01 AM

oh sweet lord. please tell me this is a joke. dirty sanchez? ugggghh.

mikeschmike · #6 09-27-2006, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin

Although, I don't knw who'd want to buy it.

Oh sure, like you won't pick up a few copies for Christmas presents?

DrummerDeanna · #7 09-27-2006, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin

Wasn't he just in People magazine whining that he was broke & was going to lose his house? Pretty convenient - looks like he'll try to make some cash off of this. Although, I don't knw who'd want to buy it.

My thoughts exactly - I just recently read that People Magazine article...and thought, "why not get a JOB!?!" Rather than asking the American people to help you out of your own debts. Stupid.

This is just gross on many levels. The tape itself - the fact that there are women who will f**k anything even remotely related to the industry. The fact that ....well ok - this could go one forever.

Just ew.