What do I do? I can't get over it.

[ontheEdgeof17]

So. There is this guy. My ex. My last ex. The relationship ended three years ago ex. I can't seem to date anyone else cuz this ex is always on my mind. He is now engaged to his bf of a year and they live together down the street from me. He's blocked me from every messenger known to man cuz he cant deal talking to me on a regular basis. The only time he unblockes me is when he is home alone and horny and wants me to come over. Sometimes I do go over....sometimes I don't. And the passion is still there and it is so tense when I see him out and about.

So. Today I see him. He works in TJ Maxx. Well, I went on a mad shopping spree today and spent a good $500. There he was right when I walked into the door. He saw me and ran straight to the back room. When I was checking out, he came up to me and didn't say anything but just stood there. I didn't look in his direction. He walked out the door and mumbled something about an email I sent to him on Myspace. I told him I hated him in the email. I think he said "Your myspace email was really nice of you," and walked out the door.

So. I went to Target and he was there...I guess on his lunchbreak. I saw him but quickly grabbed my cart and went on my merry way. Well, I turned around and he was following me. He saw and quickly turned the other way and out the door back to work.

There is soooooo much chemistry there it's unbearable. He brings tears to my eyes right when I see him. It's instant sadness. I dunno what his deal is with me. He obviously has issues. I know he uses me at times for satisfaction....and I let him like I fool....he knows he gets to me. I don't see how he can get fully committed to this guy when him and I have an unbreakable bond.

Help. What do I do to get him out of my head? I don't want him back....yes I do....no I don't. I can't decide. I need therapy. Just when I think he is out of my existance...I see him out...or he messages me....I can't get rid of him. I want to get rid of him...but then again I don't.

I need therapy.

[skcin]

You need a drink, is what you need.


















I'm kidding obviously, I don't really know what to tell you. I'm sorry, my little french fry.


Wait! I thought of something. You don't want a boy who is cheating on another guy with you. If you end up with him, he will cheat on you with another guy.

[ontheEdgeof17]

Originally Posted by skcin

You need a drink, is what you need.

I'm kidding obviously, I don't really know what to tell you. I'm sorry, my little french fry.

I'm going to make a few Screwdrivers and watch Phantom to have a good cry.

I don't see how when I look at someone for just a quick second, I begin to cry....IN PUBLIC. What does that mean?!?!? ughhh


I know. He's a cheat nowadays. But still...

[SteveMacD]

[strandinthewind]

First and foremost, this is yet another reason never to darken the door of TJ Maxx or Target

Next, I think you get a little or more satisfaction as well from the booty calls and you choose to go. So, I think thou protests too much on that point. I mean how do you know he has blocked you on all these things if you weren't a callin

Also, tell him how you feel. If he starts the same crap as before or gives you some new BS, move on - note moving on means getting up without comment the second the BS spews forth and walking away without looking back. It will suck for awhile, but you will be far better off in the end.

Finally, you are a great guy. Do not sell yourself short, which is what it sounds like you are currently doing

[SuzeQuze]

get.therapy.

Plus what Jason said.

You may have to force yourself to do/think about other people/things. You're going to have to actively wash him out of your life. He is a toxic person to you. You are behaving like an addict, not a person in love. Please take care of yourself, Curtis. You deserve so much better!

[JazmenFlowers]

what ended the relationship?

[SapphireSister]

Start shopping at Neiman's...

[Richard B]

Originally Posted by SapphireSister

Start shopping at Neiman's...

Neiman's in West Virginia? I think not.


My 2¢: Dude...stop it. Move on already...it's weird and you sound kinda desperate. Maybe you're not, but you do come across that way for putting up with all this BS from that guy. Good luck...you should be happy...not miserable.

Oh and...drink.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by SapphireSister

Start shopping at Neiman's...

I love you

BTW - I was at Last Call yesterday

Back to topic - WE LOVE YOU CURTIS!!!!!!

[ontheEdgeof17]

Thanks guy.

I just needed to rant a bit. It's not that I want him back. It just pisses me off that he gets to me...and nobody gets to me....but him. grrrr......

[golddustwoman77]

I had this very situation with this ex that I dated off and on (mostly on) for seven years. In retrospect, he was terrible for me. Here is an idea: He asked me to marry him, and at the same time he was cheating on me with someone else at work. I finally found out, and I broke up with him/told him I wouldn't married him! But, we just couldn't let it go that easy. He kept trying to winning me back and about the time I almost caved, I found out that he hadn't totally broken it off with the girl at work (He said he had.) That was it for me, but he wouldn't quit calling.

Long story short, I finally moved to a different apartment, and my number changed. He didn't know how to get ahold of me, or where I was living. That really helped. That way, he couldn't just call, show up, beg for forgiveness, try to get me back, when he felt like it. When I started dating and keeping myself busy---took up a hobby, went out with friends, etc. I tried not to go where I would see him, whereas before I would try to bump into him. We lost touch for awhile. A year later, I found a guy who was good for me and treated me fabulous. We are married now and have been for eight years. As for my ex, he ended up marrying the girl at work with the ring he asked me with. He was still trying to locate me the whole time. They divorced a year later. He was still trying to locate me. He did find out where I was teaching and called the school, three years down the road. This was when he had found out that I was getting married. I felt so good to tell this guy off and to let him know I was happy without him. Also, to see that he wasn't happy without me. He lives with his regrets still, and I'm glad he got what was coming to him.

Moral is: You can do this too. You don't deserve this treatment. You are just like I was. our relationship was like an obsession. You have to remove yourself from the situation, and it won't be easy. You'll need support from friends or family or both. When you feel like calling him, call a friend. When you feel like seeing him, go out with a friend or go out on a date. You may need to go to therapy. I really wish I had. I think I would have been more emotionally healthy during the first six months if I had. This was the hardest thing that I ever had to do, but it was the BEST thing that I ever did for myself.

[GODDESS6]

i totally agree w/ jason, & you are a great guy from what i can tell curtis, you deserve better!!! ~

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

I can't seem to date anyone else cuz this ex is always on my mind.

I have been apart from my girl for over 6 months now...we were together for 3 yrs and I feel the same way. Her mother actually called me on Dec 23 and yesterday...said things werent the same this year without me around to hang the lights...etc. **** like that makes me miss her more...and then I hear songs on the radio and the wounds are still fresh. I still cry over this girl. Its pathetic. I know there's love thats still there. I dont think about the bad stuff anymore. I just try to remember her smile, her hair...her smell. The way she put her arms around my waist. All that good stuff.

I know I can't be with her, and I just do what I have to do just to get by. If I dwell on it too much, I'll just go mental. I dont want to go overboard and get obsessive with it either...and I figure if she really wants to be with me...these feelings I have, she'd have them too. And she doesnt. How does that Patty Smyth song go? "Sometimes love just aint enough"...damn right thats true.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

. . . "Sometimes love just aint enough"...damn right thats true.

You ain'y lying on that my friend - and let me second the notion that it FUKCING SUCKS that that is true.