Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Alison]

Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?


DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before
it does after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.


OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls which is a part of life. I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive accross the road and not
live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chickens intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.The platform
is much more stable and will never cra... #@&&^( C:\\ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

[chiliD]

Why did the chicken cross the gymnasium floor?

Because the referees were calling fouls

[ontheEdgeof17]

Stevie: "Well, I wrote a song about it, before it actually crossed the road. Weird....and ppl think I am a psychic witch."

[wondergirl9847]

Lindsey: Well, the chicken walks in cycles. You have to look at the concept of the chicken as it applies to the walk. I usually look at the chicken and road before attempting to ponder the actual walking part.

John: Chicken crossing the road, what the? Ah, cluck it.

[ontheEdgeof17]

Originally Posted by wondergirl9847

Lindsey: Well, the chicken walks in cycles. You have to look at the concept of the chicken as it applies to the walk. I usually look at the chicken and road before attempting to ponder the actual walking part.

To add: "It was an organic thing, but the point is HERE HE IS!"

[estranged4life]

Mick Fleetwood-"Hmm...Here chicky chicky...I can take this chicken and maybe make a mint with my extra crispy wine based, coke induced memory relapsed special white "powder" coating...Hmmm, I can envision it now... Mick Fleetwood's tasty Chicken...That's it MFC, Mutha-f**kin'-chicken...It's finger flipping good"

[Dreammms]

you guys are cracking me up
thanks for the laugh

[GardenStateGirlie]

"the chicken crossed the road...and then he appeared in our new single, PEACEKEEPER" -Lindsey

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by GardenStateGirlie

"the chicken crossed the road...and then he appeared in our new single, PEACEKEEPER" -Lindsey

ROTFLMMFAO
Bwaaak -Bwak Bwak Bwak - Bwaaaaaack - Bwak Bwak

[madformac]

What colour feathers did it have? Was it discriminated against being allowed to cross? Was it allowed to vote or was the polling station on the other side?



VOTES FOR CHICKENS

***UPDATE*** (note to self) This is my 500th post..

[amber]

Q: Stevie, your chicken imagery is so powerful. What inspired the lines "The chicken, well, he had to cross, had to, had to staaaaaaaayyyy!"
Stevie: I saw a beautiful chicken, up in Aspen, cross the road...

[ShangriLaTroubl]

This has absolutely nothing to do with this thread, but I found it funny.

While at McDonalds this afternoon they had a big ad that said "Arent you glad the chicken crossed the road?" And had a pic of their brand new chicken strips beside it.. Lol i thought it was kind of funny...a little weird too though

Chris