Kerry undergoing surgery

estranged4life · #1 03-31-2004, 12:30 PM

Kerry undergoing shoulder surgery

Democrat plans to be back on campaign trail soon

The Associated Press

BOSTON - Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said Wednesday he would return to campaigning "faster than you can blink" after outpatient surgery to repair a minor shoulder injury sidelines him for the rest of the week.

Kerry, 60, tore part of his right rotator cuff in January when he wrenched the shoulder while bracing himself as his campaign bus came to an abrupt stop in Iowa. The operation, which was being performed by Dr. Bertram Zarins, chief of sports medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital, requires general anesthesia and should take about 45 minutes, Zarins said.

"I'll be back faster than you can blink," the Massachusetts senator told the Building Trades Legislative Conference two hours before going in for surgery.

Zarins said this week that he will operate through a 1½- to 2-inch incision in the front of the shoulder. Kerry was expected to go home Wednesday afternoon, with narcotic painkillers for a few days, as needed.

Kerry will wear a sling for a day or two before being allowed to use the arm carefully, Zarins said.

Kerry made the most of his time before surgery. He spoke by satellite to the Building Trades Legislative Conference in Washington, then held a round-table discussion with unemployed workers in Brighton, Mass.

Kerry criticized the Bush administration for allowing the federal government's emergency unemployment benefits program to expire on Wednesday. His campaign created an interactive map of the United States with state-by-state statistics meant to highlight job losses during the Bush administration.

Program was extended twice
Congress extended the unemployment benefit program twice, but Republican leaders say the economy is improving, jobs are being created and another extension is not necessary.

Kerry spent Monday and Tuesday in California, meeting with voters and raising campaign money, including at a star-studded affair in Beverly Hills attended by Meg Ryan, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Barbra Streisand and James Brolin, among others.

Kerry felt well enough for a recent weeklong skiing and snowboarding vacation in Idaho, but reported feeling pain after certain movements and chose to have the tendon surgically repaired, Zarins said.

Kerry interrupted his campaign schedule for surgery twice last year. He had a cancerous prostate removed in February 2003, followed a month later by minor outpatient surgery to remove a wart from an eyelid."

If ya asked me Kerry should have went for the "Tommy John" surgery (Baseball humor y'all, So don't get yer undies in a wad, Ok?)...

CarneVaca · #2 03-31-2004, 03:46 PM

I always suspected campaigning could be hazardous to your health. Now I have proof.

CarneVaca · #3 03-31-2004, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by estranged4life
"I'll be back faster than you can blink," the Massachusetts senator told the Building Trades Legislative Conference two hours before going in for surgery.

My God, will the lying never end!!??

CarneVaca · #4 03-31-2004, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by estranged4life
Kerry, 60, tore part of his right rotator cuff in January when he wrenched the shoulder while bracing himself as his campaign bus came to an abrupt stop in Iowa.

How do you suppose Karl Rove and his dastardly minions got the bus to stop abruptly at the precise moment it would cause Kerry an injury?

These damn Republicans will stop at nothing. Nothing.

CarneVaca · #5 03-31-2004, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by estranged4life
Kerry interrupted his campaign schedule for surgery twice last year. He had a cancerous prostate removed in February 2003, followed a month later by minor outpatient surgery to remove a wart from an eyelid."

The man is a mess. Do we really want a president with eyelid warts? EeeeeeEEEEWWWW!!

estranged4life · #6 03-31-2004, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarneVaca
The man is a mess. Do we really want a president with eyelid warts? EeeeeeEEEEWWWW!!

Only person with warts who I would ever vote for (If he could run) is Lemmy Kilmister (Of Motorhead)...A tough guy, Warts & all.

CarneVaca · #7 03-31-2004, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by estranged4life
Only person with warts who I would ever vote for (If he could run) is Lemmy Kilmister (Of Motorhead)...A tough guy, Warts & all.

Yeah, but doesn't it bother you that Kerry said he will come back faster than you can blink? I mean, if he's using himself as the "blink standard," then I must ask, How slow is this guy at blinking? And do you suppose the wart removal had an effect on the speed of his blinks?

And if so, do we really want a slow-blinking president?

Johnny Stew · #8 03-31-2004, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarneVaca
do we really want a slow-blinking president?

From a slow-thinking president to a slow-blinking one... I'd definitely say it would be a trade-up.

CarneVaca · #9 03-31-2004, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Johnny Stew
From a slow-thinking president to a slow-blinking one... I'd definitely say it would be a trade-up.

Eh, you got a point there, Johnny.

estranged4life · #10 03-31-2004, 04:36 PM

must have fast healing powers (ala X-Men's Wolverine) because a "2 hour surgery" (45 minutes in the real world is 2 hours in the medical world

) is not a blink of the eye, Even if it's an eye with a wart on it's lid. (And having had a major shoulder injury in the past I can say from experience it takes more than a week to heel.)

Thank God he didnt have to let the public know about other types of warts he may have had (ie-Genital warts...Ewwwww)

CarneVaca · #11 03-31-2004, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by estranged4life
(And having had a major shoulder injury in the past I can say from experience it takes more than a week to heel.)

Do you suppose he's going to have to hire somebody to lift the babies for him?

estranged4life · #12 03-31-2004, 04:42 PM

not long ago Shrub had a rectal exam and now "Franken-Kerry" has a bad shoulder...I think Nader Really has a chance now, Especially with the health issues here in the U.S.

estranged4life · #13 03-31-2004, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarneVaca
Do you suppose he's going to have to hire somebody to lift the babies for him?

Hey, That sounds like a job for Howard "ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH" Dean (At least he would have a job in Kerry's camp, A temporary one at that

)...Poor babies, I feel sorry for 'em with that thought.

CarneVaca · #14 03-31-2004, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by estranged4life
Hey, That sounds like a job for Howard "ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH" Dean (At least he would have a job in Kerry's camp, A temporary one at that )...Poor babies, I feel sorry for 'em with that thought.

Dude, you got me

with that one. Howard "The Scream" Dean handling babies...