Childfree

[HejiraNYC]

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

That depends on who you are. Good job Mr and Mrs Lennon / Zimmerman / Nicks (!) etc didn't listen to that kind of comment.

For every person who didn't want kids at 20 and never changes their mind, there's someone who turns 35 or 40 and realises that maybe they did want kids after all, and then it's more difficult. Everyone's different - for many people, money and "stuff" are meaningless, and free time can get pretty dull after a while.

John Lennon was adopted.

[GODDESS6]

Originally Posted by jannieC

Ha- it's not always like that, though. Raising my daughter is the easiest, most fun thing I've ever done. I get up before she does in the morning and I can't wait for her to get going so I can see her. I hate going to work (even though I love my job) because I miss her. I make the most of every minute with her; we play, laugh, dance, cry, cuddle, and talk. I can have all the time I want to myself, thanks to a husband who loves being a parent as much as I do. See how different it all sounds coming from this point of view?

amen to that jannie, i adore every moment w/ my son & even tho he is almost 12, i still get teary eyed watching him sleep~ having him has made me a much better, caring, loving, woman~

[bretonbanquet]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

John Lennon was adopted.

No, he wasn't

[HejiraNYC]

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

No, he wasn't

http://famous.adoption.com/famous/le...n-winston.html

[DavidMn]

I don't see myself ever having children for the simple reason that I don't have the patience for them. I'd rather not be a parent than be a poor one. There's more than enough of those to go around.

[bretonbanquet]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

http://famous.adoption.com/famous/le...n-winston.html

And? He wasn't adopted - it doesn't even say he was adopted in that link. He was raised by his aunt and uncle from the age of five, which, I'm sure you'll appreciate, isn't the same thing. As I said originally, good job Mr and Mrs Lennon didn't listen to comments like your original one.

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by DavidMn

I'd rather not be a parent than be a poor one.

I'd rather not be a parent unless I could be a great one (Which I know I could easily do...My nieces & nephews helped ease my 'uneasiness' around children...along with my ex-fiancee's daughter, who I call 'lovingly' my daughter)

Debbie used to come home and 'decompress' from her work at the hospital's "OB" ward by telling me (I'm a better listener than talker) about the children being born to parents who didn't even want the child, which bothered Debbie alot (Because of what is written below this paragraph)...It bothered her moreso when a child was born to a young person (I remember she told of a 12 year old girl had given birth on her shift, I was like "WTHOAF???!!!") or to someone who was a drug addict.

I clearly remember when Deb was battling cancer her oncologist told me "If you decide to have children while she is battling this cancer, you are going to have to make a hard choice between losing a child or losing your wife...or both" - Common sense prevailed to that statement.

We talked about adoption...But...the OBVIOUS happened and derailed those plans.

[HejiraNYC]

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

And? He wasn't adopted - it doesn't even say he was adopted in that link. He was raised by his aunt and uncle from the age of five, which, I'm sure you'll appreciate, isn't the same thing. As I said originally, good job Mr and Mrs Lennon didn't listen to comments like your original one.

He was adopted- whether in the technical or functional sense. Indeed, it was probably his adopted family that nurtured him into becoming the Beatle we all know and love.

http://www.indyposted.com/19929/top-...were-adopted/#

3. John Lennon

This Beatles star had a very troubled childhood. He was born to Julia and Alfred Lennon, and there was a bit of a custody battle between them until he was about five. Ultimately, he was raised by his mother’s sister, Mary Smith, who once said, “I knew the moment I saw John in that hospital that I was the one to be his mother, not Julia. Does that sound awful? It isn’t, really, because Julia accepted it as something perfectly natural. She used to say, ‘You’re his real mother. All I did was give birth.’”

[bretonbanquet]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

He was adopted- whether in the technical or functional sense. Indeed, it was probably his adopted family that nurtured him into becoming the Beatle we all know and love.

http://www.indyposted.com/19929/top-...were-adopted/#

Hard to imagine you being wronger about that. His aunt refused to allow a record player into the house. He saw his mother practically every day, she bought him his first guitar and taught him how to play it, bought him his first records and he used to go down the road to her house to play them while they danced around her kitchen. Shortly before she died, she was one of The Quarrymen's biggest fans, while Mimi disapproved of the whole music idea, like most people of her generation. Mimi Smith had nothing whatsoever to do with Lennon becoming a musician, and she never liked McCartney or Harrison. She and her husband put a roof over his head, fed him and sent him to school, and they were a decent, loving couple - but without his mother, John would've been an accountant or something.

And you're either adopted, or you're not. Either you do the legal process or you don't. Mimi and George Smith were guardians, not adoptive parents.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

I'm usually facetious. I can understand why people want to see blood of their own. But, really, isn't the capacity to love unconditionally extended to those not of your making as well? Why is it more complex?

As an adoptive mother, I agree wholeheartedly with the bolded statement. The whole "just adopt!" attitude is what I was referring to as being "complex". Babies aren't just dropping from the skies.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by ButterCookie

I'm 17 and I know that I don't want kids. Lots and lots of people have said to me "I didn't want them when I was your age but I changed my mind." Like kak125, I'm selfish too.

Just be warned, that you might change. I just learned yesterday, that my 26yo cousin is expecting. And she always used to tell me that she that she never wanted kids. But her opinion had changed, in the past couple of years. Tick, tick, tick..... Maybe it's a way out for her....she hates being a teacher, and her husband makes big bucks, and wants her to be a stay at home Mom.....

As for me, in my 20's, I always thought I wanted a kid or two. By my mid 30's, though, I changed my mind. I love to travel, frequently, and love spending my money on me. IF I'd ever manage to get married(not looking good, at this point ), and my partner wanted a child, well, .......I guess I'd consider it. But it probably wouldn't be my first choice.
And yes, we are over-populated, already. ADOPTION!

[jannieC]

Pretend for the moment that you want to adopt a child. Do the research and report back to everyone how easy it is to adopt! I'm saying this with a smile, not a scowl- I just don't think many realize what it takes to adopt.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by jannieC

As an adoptive mother, I agree wholeheartedly with the bolded statement. The whole "just adopt!" attitude is what I was referring to as being "complex". Babies aren't just dropping from the skies.

As an adopted child, I agree completely. Wanna know something sh*tty.....after my Mom passed, my aunt said to me, "I hope you know that you're still welcome, at all of our get togethers".
While that could be taken nicely, am I the only one, who sees the implication, that "you really weren't hers, so you're really not one of us, but we still want to see you, anyway"?
I thought it was a sh*tty thing to say. I mean, I was adopted at birth....it's not like I didn't come along until I was 15, or something.... Bitch!

[HejiraNYC]

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

Hard to imagine you being wronger about that. His aunt refused to allow a record player into the house. He saw his mother practically every day, she bought him his first guitar and taught him how to play it, bought him his first records and he used to go down the road to her house to play them while they danced around her kitchen. Shortly before she died, she was one of The Quarrymen's biggest fans, while Mimi disapproved of the whole music idea, like most people of her generation. Mimi Smith had nothing whatsoever to do with Lennon becoming a musician, and she never liked McCartney or Harrison. She and her husband put a roof over his head, fed him and sent him to school, and they were a decent, loving couple - but without his mother, John would've been an accountant or something.

And you're either adopted, or you're not. Either you do the legal process or you don't. Mimi and George Smith were guardians, not adoptive parents.

http://www.instantkarma.com/johnbio.html

Well, other accounts seem to consider "Mimi" to be the grounding influence in John's life. Besides, no matter how much he visited his mother, he was not raised by her. They were more like buddies... and he had a decidedly unhealthy preoccupation with her.

John moved in with his aunt at Mendips at 251 Menlove Avenue before he was five, so despite the fact that he made regular visits to his mother's house, John's major, grounding influence in his life was Mary Smith..lovingly referred to through the years as Aunt Mimi. One biographer noted that even though John could engage in outrageous behavior and be rude, when the occasion called for it, John, moreso than Paul, George or Ringo, knew how to behave with grace in social situations. These skills he learned from Aunt Mary and Uncle George, who were slightly up the scale economically and socially from the other Beatles' families.

[HejiraNYC]

Originally Posted by jannieC

Pretend for the moment that you want to adopt a child. Do the research and report back to everyone how easy it is to adopt! I'm saying this with a smile, not a scowl- I just don't think many realize what it takes to adopt.

I know it is a time-consuming, expensive proposition. But so is childbirth! My hats off to you for making the effort and giving someone needy a loving home and family.