Who would do a better job playing Stevie in an upcoming movie?

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To choice is yours, fellow Stevie fans!

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Pros
-Is already tall enough so he won't have to wear platform boots
-Can twirl reasonably well, provided the floor is smooth enough
-Can remember the lyrics to Edge of Seventeen even after three glasses of wine
-Has brown eyes
-Is the same age as Lindsay Lohan
-Has never been involved in a car accident
-Liked Tusk so much he bought it twice
-Can identify what year a picture of Stevie was taken in about 10 seconds
-Shows up for scheduled appointments on time
-Can belt out a reasonable rendition of Angel

Cons
-Too terrified to sing Happy Birthday in front of his family
-Is a man
-Does not have an upturned nose
-Was two years old the last time Fleetwood Mac had a platinum studio album

Lindsay Lohan
-Is actually a woman
-Has experience with cocaine addiction (which apparently also makes her a strong contender for the Sigmund Freud role)
-Has appeared in several movies

Cons
-Is an incredibly boring singer
-Has the stage presence of a dead seahorse
-Was born with a silver spoon up her nose, instead of spending 28 years fighting to get it there
-Will probably cripple herself in a devastating car accident during the film's production