What should I do/rant

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by amber

I suppose. But if we could, why wouldn't we?

I think sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own lives. It's actually pretty easy to be nice to someone, though it does take a little bit of extra effort... so I guess most people just don't want to be bothered.

Originally Posted by amber

*I think I just overdosed on sacharine reading this post. twitch.*

They used to call me "Mister Rogers" in school (well, among other things! ), but I always took it as a compliment.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

I think sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own lives. It's actually pretty easy to be nice to someone, though it does take a little bit of extra effort... so I guess most people just don't want to be bothered.



They used to call me "Mister Rogers" in school (well, among other things! ), but I always took it as a compliment.

blergh. I use my extra effort just to be as nice as I am now.
yeah, you're pretty sickening.

[DrummerDeanna]

It takes all my extra effort not to yell at her and call her names ...maybe I'm evil - I sure as hell feel that way - especially is she has a disorder....but like Amber said - and I wholeheartedly agree - not all of us are equipped to handle people like that

That's why there aren't more special ed teachers in the world - I have nothing against anyone with any disorders or disabilities - my grandma was a special ed teacher as is a good friend of mine and I've learned since I was little to respect everyone...

But this girl really triggers something in me....and I do feel totally and completely evil for disliking her so much.

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

I'm sorry but the above Stew/Amber exchange = giggles

The thing is - the fact that she can't help the way she is etc is what has made me feel SO bad about this whole thing.

I HAVE tried - every week I try - and I get myself to this place mentally where I think I'm all prepared and can handle it - then it all goes out the window when she opens her mouth.

Patience is not a virtue I was blessed with an abundance of - I admit that - but again, I've tried to be a friend - it worked briefly - I was doing ok - then I made the mistake of letting her dog/house sit - and that was just bad and now I just want to hurt her most of the time and I'm a believer in the whole "do unto others" so I hate that I get so bitchy around her....

It's very sweet that it concerns you so much, and that you want to do the right thing. Most people wouldn't care at all.

Do you think maybe a little time away from her might help? Or maybe trying to just smile and respond politely when she says something daft, and reminding yourself not to let it get to you?

I know it's so much easier to say when you're not in the middle of the situation though.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

It's very sweet that it concerns you so much, and that you want to do the right thing. Most people wouldn't care at all.

Do you think maybe a little time away from her might help? Or maybe trying to just smile and respond politely when she says something daft, and reminding yourself not to let it get to you?

I know it's so much easier to say when you're not in the middle of the situation though.

I have seriously tried both of those things I think that after posting the initial post - and just getting this all out has made me see that I Just need to say goodbye to our weekly dinners and then just go out with th egirl I like once in a while.

The other girl has said she dreads getting stuck alone with the other one too...ugh - I don't know.

[wondergirl9847]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

But some people do need a little extra patience and understanding.

LMAO!! They need to give you a sainthood, JS. I would ignore her until she went away. I actually got rid of an annoying friend by doing just that. I never took her calls, and get this (OMG, I'm so going to hell for this one), she came over one afternoon and sat on my porch for over an HOUR. She had rung the doorbell and I was home, but just didn't answer it...she sat out there, and finally took the hint. She probably KNEW I was home since I don't drive and didn't work at the time, but ah well. She stopped calling/coming over and I never heard from her again.

God forgive me. Amen.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

It's very sweet that it concerns you so much, and that you want to do the right thing. Most people wouldn't care at all.

I agree, Deanna, it's nice you feel bad. Maybe you could slowly but politely drift away. Oh, wait, you tried that. She hunted you down like a rabbit.
There seems to be no answer. I just hope one day you don't blow your top and rip her a new one. Good luck! It's funny that she's so persistent, and so blind to your efforts to not be her friend. Heeey, wait a minute....isn't that kind of rude of her???

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by amber

blergh. I use my extra effort just to be as nice as I am now.
yeah, you're pretty sickening.

I was pretty much tortured throughout my grade school and high school years, so I guess I'm just extra-sensitive to the feelings of "outsiders."

Though don't think for a minute that I don't ever get irritated or lose my patience when dealing with people. Patience issues are something I'm always working on.

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

It takes all my extra effort not to yell at her and call her names ...maybe I'm evil - I sure as hell feel that way - especially is she has a disorder....but like Amber said - and I wholeheartedly agree - not all of us are equipped to handle people like that

You're most definitely not evil. The fact that you've made an effort at all speaks volumes.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

I was pretty much tortured throughout my grade school and high school years, so I guess I'm just extra-sensitive to the feelings of "outsiders."

Though don't think for a minute that I don't ever get irritated or lose my patience when dealing with people. Patience issues are something I'm always working on.

awww....yeah, that's nice. Sorry you were tortured. I nipped that sh** in the bud whenever it started.

[DrummerDeanna]

Christy LMAO!!!! You let her sit on your porch for an hour - that? is hilarious and totally something I would do

Anyway - yeah - she did stop calling me - but she randomly started again this last weekend - so now I just never answer my phone - and she doesn't leave messages - she just calls every five minutes and I get annoyed. ugh.

Yeah - I think I will just have to stop going to dinner - simple as that - yet I think I needed to get some of this out - since I haven't purged all of this to the girl I like for fear that she'll find me evil - we've talked about our annoyances of other girl but mostly on a superficial level...oh well.

I try to be very aware to the plight of outsiders - I got my fair share of torture - mostly in middle school...and it was hell- and I've befriended outsiders in the past who have turned out to be amazing friends - I just don't think I have it in my to take this girl in

[Johnny Stew]

Christy... I think we've ALL done something like that at least once in our lives.

That actually reminds of a funny story....
I had a friend whose daughter would eat dinner at home, then arrive at my house just in time to invite herself in and join US for dinner, too. Sometimes she'd even have the gall to say, "I really don't like that," in regards to what we were eating... but she'd dig in anyway!

We then found out that after she'd leave here, she'd visit ANOTHER friend's home, and eat there, too!!

Well, we got wise, and for one week we made our dinner early each night and ate downstairs in the den. She'd knock on the front door. Knock on the back door. Peer into the windows (according to our neighbor). Leave. Come back a a little later, and do it all over again. And then eventually go on to the other friend's house.

We felt horrible for doing it, but it seemed to be the only way to break her of her little Mooch-A-Meal habit.
And it worked!

[amber]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

Christy... I think we've ALL done something like that at least once in our lives.

That actually reminds of a funny story....
I had a friend whose daughter would eat dinner at home, then arrive at my house just in time to invite herself in and join US for dinner, too. Sometimes she'd even have the gall to say, "I really don't like that," in regards to what we were eating... but she'd dig in anyway!

We then found out that after she'd leave here, she'd visit ANOTHER friend's home, and eat there, too!!

Well, we got wise, and for one week we made our dinner early each night and ate downstairs in the den. She'd knock on the front door. Knock on the back door. Peer into the windows (according to our neighbor). Leave. Come back a a little later, and do it all over again. And then eventually go on to the other friend's house.

We felt horrible for doing it, but it seemed to be the only way to break her of her little Mooch-A-Meal habit.
And it worked!

what I don't understand is how she could eat so much! And when I was little, dinner was always my least favorite meal, too. How weird.

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by amber

awww....yeah, that's nice. Sorry you were tortured. I nipped that sh** in the bud whenever it started.

I was too meek and submissive back then to put a stop to anything. Plus I was embarrassed by it all, and didn't want my parents to know what was going on.

I don't regret any of it though, because I grew from it... but I'd definitely handle things MUCH differently these days.

Anyway, this isn't about me. I was just trying to make the point that you never know what's going on in someone's life, or what they've been through in the past, and sometimes people just require a little bit of extra patience or compassion.

[wondergirl9847]

Mooch-a-Meal!! LMAO!! Hilarious. Wow, she must've had amazing metabolism or was big as a house.

I never liked eating at my friends' houses when I was little, becuase I'm soooo picky. Their parents made them (and me!) drink milk and my family always had sweet tea.