#1846
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Just because you have the money for something does not mean you have to spend it on that something. If someone has the money to hire a dietician and wants to do that, then more power to them. If they choose not to spend their money on a dietician, then more power to them on that, as well. It is the person's individual choice. Fat shaming is not an effective motivator. Making someone feel bad for how they look is not an effective motivator. And just because Elvis may have had issues that left him unable to see things clearly does not mean that all overweight famous people are the same way. And I don't care if ALL of your friends are fat - having a fat friend does not mean you're not showing bias, like just having a black friend doesn't mean someone's not still capable of being racist. If your friend's love of food is a "problem," it is HIS "problem," not yours, unless he asks you for help in changing his eating habits. But no one has to back away from the table just because you think they should, and whether or not that third helping of pie is a "good" idea, if I want it, I'm going to eat it - it's my body, it's nothing to do with you. Do you see what I am saying? Just because you have a problem with what other people weigh does not mean that they have to have that same problem with their own weight. And it doesn't mean you get to make judgments.
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Malanderer, Badlander and Thief, Est. 1982 All the same, baby. All the same. "You never know what I'll do. I've resequenced my show. I'm a master at sequencing. I'm the one who sequenced for Fleetwood Mac. I sequenced 'Rumours.' Everyone loves my sequences. They're fun.'' |
#1847
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I'm about as good as Elvis' friends when it comes to that, a big chicken. And it would be a lot easier to "feel" for them if they themselves didn't moan about it. When people talk about losing weight and don't do anything about it, what do you think is going to happen? And I'm talking about people I know, not Ms. Wilson. And btw I'm talking about grown ups here not children. I'd never say anything to a child about their weight. I am not a mean person. Look through my post. As to what Ann was wearing you're right it wasn't obscene or inappropriate. Don't try and put words into my mouth. I do a good enough job at getting in trouble without you adding to it. I just thought she could wear something that would make her look more appealing. Maybe I'm wrong. |
#1848
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me. We've all got our own problems, I sure have my share. But if you hear a person you know complaining about this particular problem, and then you see them eating multiple helpings of food (at one of my parties). And then they wonder why they can't lose weight??? I do see what you're saying though. |
#1849
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#1850
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#1851
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I love stirring up stuff, but not this type of topic. But I have to say if you were in my shoes and had heard about this weight problem for most of your life, even if wrong you might have thought the same thing too. |
#1852
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As an aside, my sister is quite heavy (300+) and it has been difficult to watch her struggle with her weight. It can't have been easy for her to grow up with a younger brother and sister who were naturally thin with no effort. So, I get what it means to be around people who complain about their weight and then do nothing to make it better. However, I have come to learn that this is THEIR problem and it's not up to me to *fix* it (though that is usually my MO). |
#1853
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#1854
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It is frustrating to listen to someone complain about something incessantly and then not do anything to change it, I agree. But that still doesn't give any of us the right to be the fat police for anyone else. We're all entitled to our opinions, be they valid or not - what's important is to try to be aware of our biases and think before we open our mouths. In my opinion, anyway.
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Malanderer, Badlander and Thief, Est. 1982 All the same, baby. All the same. "You never know what I'll do. I've resequenced my show. I'm a master at sequencing. I'm the one who sequenced for Fleetwood Mac. I sequenced 'Rumours.' Everyone loves my sequences. They're fun.'' |
#1855
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FWIW, i agree with this, and i took this as less a comment on her weight and more as a comment on her wardrobe, which, much like stevie's, does not flatter her figure. while ann has no responsibility to wear clothes that i think look good, a person's wardrobe says a lot about their personality and how they feel about their body. ann's clothing seems like an expression of shame and an attempt to hide herself, which is really too bad because she is one of the most talented musicians alive and arguably the best voice in rock. as far as the fat-shaming conversation goes ... i do feel that at a certain point, if you are a friend of a fat person who complains about his/her weight but does nothing about it, you have permission to say STFU and step away from the cheeseburger. and i say that as a fat person who has had a friend say STFU, step away from the cheeseburger, and get your fat ass on your bike. or in the pool. or out for a jog. i have no problem with this because at the end of the day, even if i do have a food-related pathology (never been diagnosed, but pringles disorder is a thing, right?), i recognize and accept the cause and effect relationship between overeating/sedentariness (not a word!) and being faaaaaat. zombie - you are right that nobody who's fat is unaware of their fatness, but sometimes it does take a friend to point out contradictory behavior, such as continuing to overeat while complaining about being overweight. in my mind, that is the definition of a good friend - someone who is willing and strong enough to put the warm fuzzies aside for a moment and knock you upside the head with the cold, hard truth. jannie - is there anyone on this planet who is nonjudgmental? calling someone judgmental these days has pretty much the same connotation as calling someone a bigot, which is a little absurd. everyone is judgmental, or, to use a less loaded term, discerning. everyone has a set of standards they hold themselves and others to, and implying that iamnotafraid is a bad friend because he bristles at his friend's refusal to change something that he himself is unhappy with is silly. what is the value in being "supportive" if it fosters a friend's unhappiness and unhealthiness? somewhere along the way, "overweight" became a new untouchable minority in our culture, as if someone is simply born fat, just as someone is born black or born gay. of course there is a vast spectrum of body types - i could lose 60 pounds, but i'd still be a short, broad-shouldered broad, whereas my brother is a foot taller and has to work to put on weight - but by and large, having a BMI in the obese range is a choice. again, i am not speaking from a lofty, skinny-bitch perch. i have a BMI of 36. i have struggled with my weight since a kid named jason fitzgerald first called me fat in 4th grade (funnily enough, i was not fat then, but i am now). however, i now exercise every day. i have to think about everything i eat because i was not taught healthy eating habits growing up. i know firsthand that the damage of eating disorders is deep, and quitting overeating is different from, say, quitting smoking because we need to eat to survive. so a person with an eating disorder faces his/her demon multiple times a day. i get that. but i do not think that it is an insurmountable obstacle for most people, nor do i think that treating it as such is beneficial to anyone. JTIS. |
#1856
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By now I'm sure to have a reputation for (among other things) promoting free and open source software. Of course, vBulletin is not an example of that (I only found out tonight, as it were). MyBB (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MyBB#Reviews), on the other hand, is. It has come to my attention that another FM forum has started somewhat recently, implementing MyBB - http://fleetwoodmacforum.com/thechain/. So, feel free to open an account there!
(Needless to say, I have absolutely no regrets about joining here, and won't suddenly stop visiting (much to everyone's dismay! ). )
__________________
The two essentials for a healthy mind: 1. Philosophy & Science 2. Fleetwood Mac NB. Not necessarily in that order... |
#1857
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#1858
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I was about to say that! Carrie, you gotta start adding your two cents like that much more often
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#1859
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#1860
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Carrie is my new Hero.
Where were you early yesterday??? Now, it's time to play guitar. |
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