The Just Thought I'd Share Thread

[carrie721]

Originally Posted by iamnotafraid

Watched Heart's Behind The Music (Remastered) tonight. Pretty cool, but I guess
they couldn't make the show if musicians didn't complain. And I'm not going to
say something rude about someone's weight, but she needs help with
wardrobe. Those black tent shirts aren't helping.

what a mess this turned into.

FWIW, i agree with this, and i took this as less a comment on her weight and more as a comment on her wardrobe, which, much like stevie's, does not flatter her figure.

while ann has no responsibility to wear clothes that i think look good, a person's wardrobe says a lot about their personality and how they feel about their body. ann's clothing seems like an expression of shame and an attempt to hide herself, which is really too bad because she is one of the most talented musicians alive and arguably the best voice in rock.

as far as the fat-shaming conversation goes ... i do feel that at a certain point, if you are a friend of a fat person who complains about his/her weight but does nothing about it, you have permission to say STFU and step away from the cheeseburger. and i say that as a fat person who has had a friend say STFU, step away from the cheeseburger, and get your fat ass on your bike. or in the pool. or out for a jog. i have no problem with this because at the end of the day, even if i do have a food-related pathology (never been diagnosed, but pringles disorder is a thing, right?), i recognize and accept the cause and effect relationship between overeating/sedentariness (not a word!) and being faaaaaat.

zombie - you are right that nobody who's fat is unaware of their fatness, but sometimes it does take a friend to point out contradictory behavior, such as continuing to overeat while complaining about being overweight. in my mind, that is the definition of a good friend - someone who is willing and strong enough to put the warm fuzzies aside for a moment and knock you upside the head with the cold, hard truth.

jannie - is there anyone on this planet who is nonjudgmental? calling someone judgmental these days has pretty much the same connotation as calling someone a bigot, which is a little absurd. everyone is judgmental, or, to use a less loaded term, discerning. everyone has a set of standards they hold themselves and others to, and implying that iamnotafraid is a bad friend because he bristles at his friend's refusal to change something that he himself is unhappy with is silly. what is the value in being "supportive" if it fosters a friend's unhappiness and unhealthiness?

somewhere along the way, "overweight" became a new untouchable minority in our culture, as if someone is simply born fat, just as someone is born black or born gay. of course there is a vast spectrum of body types - i could lose 60 pounds, but i'd still be a short, broad-shouldered broad, whereas my brother is a foot taller and has to work to put on weight - but by and large, having a BMI in the obese range is a choice. again, i am not speaking from a lofty, skinny-bitch perch. i have a BMI of 36. i have struggled with my weight since a kid named jason fitzgerald first called me fat in 4th grade (funnily enough, i was not fat then, but i am now). however, i now exercise every day. i have to think about everything i eat because i was not taught healthy eating habits growing up. i know firsthand that the damage of eating disorders is deep, and quitting overeating is different from, say, quitting smoking because we need to eat to survive. so a person with an eating disorder faces his/her demon multiple times a day. i get that. but i do not think that it is an insurmountable obstacle for most people, nor do i think that treating it as such is beneficial to anyone.

JTIS.