The Just Thought I'd Share Thread

[MissLadyLoki]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

*Wanders in meekly and curls up in the corner*

Bee, we seriously need to talk. Check your PMs.

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

I wish I could curl up into a ball and die right now.

for me. I had to tolerate some ass-hats who called me about a loan that I have to pay, but they did NOT realize I can answer my phone (A little techno trick I picked up years ago) and make it appear otherwise - their callous remarks & 'joyous laughter' about me were uncalled for...Not once, but twice.

So I talked to the companies supervisor about the situation, he called to see what the deal was, then called me back to apologize on his behalf for his company and said the manager & asst. manager of the firm would also like to call to apologize to me...I told him apologies to me are just hollow words to cover ones ass, such as if for example a drunkard plows into a van killing a family of 4, thinks that an apology will makes amends - when in fact the only thing the drunkard would be apologizing for is GETTING CAUGHT.

I told him to "save their hollow words for someone else". I WARNED him that people such as his group need to BACK OFF of me at this time - not a threat, but a guarantee.

Hey, if one is to call me, either speak to me or f**k off!

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by DefDumbandBlond

The feeling is NOT mutual.

Can someone explain this to me? Did I miss the memo?

[daniellaaarisen]

I'm guessing a big chunk of posts were deleted....

[ButterCookie]

An entire thread was deleted for more than good reason

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by ButterCookie

An entire thread was deleted for more than good reason

In Chit Chat? If not, let me guess.....Stevie's forum?

[Silver Springs]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

In Chit Chat? If not, let me guess.....Stevie's forum?

Erm...wasn't actually. It was kind of my fault.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

Erm...wasn't actually. It was kind of my fault.

Can we get some details, for those of us that missed it?

[Silver Springs]

Okay I guess. Well...the gist was that an old friend from my real life posted in the "goodby song" forum, telling me to kill myself. An argument ensued between a regular poster and herself.

[APerfectLie]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

Okay I guess. Well...the gist was that an old friend from my real life posted in the "goodby song" forum, telling me to kill myself. An argument ensued between a regular poster and herself.

Bee,

I was going to post this in the Goodby Song thread, but seeing as it is gone, I am posting it here. Two years ago I read a book called Why I Committed Suicide and this part has always stuck with me:

I am home again, which fills me with a feeling of relief but also an underlying melancholy. Maybe staying busy with work and school is what I need to stay happy for a while. I'll let pointless busy work replace the idleness that lets my mind brood and hope it works out better than before.

I'm just kind of sad for no reason at all. Even having symptoms of clinical depression doesn't mean I want drugs to treat it. For some reason genetics created my mind to have a cynical view and perceive things differently than Joe-Blow frat boy and I can't dismiss what I think and feel as being mere symptoms of a disease. Who cares if I don't want to get out of bed and go to school or work because I'm depressed? Not my boss or professors. Is god trying to control the population by inserting a suicide clause that activates whenever a certain number of McDonald's restaurants go up in any given neighborhood? I guess I am asking questions that aren't even defined by logical or legitimately proposed questions.

Who am I to complain that I exist? What gives the me the ****ing right and audacity to be a thankless bastard? Maybe I should take Zoloft and be chemically happy and balanced, but right now I would rather die than be a robot. Having quirks and problems gives me inspiration and helps me grow to overcome obstacles.

Sorry, I even said I'm feeling melancholy huh? What's weird is that I'm happy and sad at the same time. I think I'm sad because I want something more than I have but I can't identify it close enough to make it an obtainable goal. A dissatisfied happiness? If I don't know what's missing, then it could be anything or everything and what kind of ****ed up situation is that to be in?

People pass me in the street and say "How's it going?" and with a glint of my teeth and a click of my heels I automatically reply "Great!" But as I write this I still feel like something is missing. I don't think my life can (or will) get any better than this and I really don't see any way to keep making it exponentially better. There will always be little things to work for of course, more money and overseas vacationing come to mind, but I doubt material wealth will ever make me feel any more complete. I'll be able to say that I've got a lot of money and opportunity, but inside it will still just be me. I'm worried that I'll have high school football player syndrome, where I constantly look back and regret that my favorite time of life has already passed on. Gone. I don't want to look back and wish I were still here and I don't want to look back and wish I was still where I was. Capishe?

The reason this stuck with me was because I completely related to it then and even still do at times. The guy actually doesn't end up committing suicide, so it was nice to know that there was someone out there who shared my thoughts without giving up. I don't know you personally Bee, so I don't want to make assumptions about you or your situation. I don't want to put you or your circumstances in a box, but I just want to share my thoughts. Sometimes professional help is beneficial, but it isn't always necessary. Sometimes all you need is to know you aren't alone. To know you aren't the only person in the world who feels this way. To know that there is someone in this world you can relate to. To know that someone cares about you. So I just want to tell you Bee, many times I have found myself lost and hopeless. Sometimes you just have to "go away for a little while to remember how to feel." But no matter how cliche it sounds, the truth is Bee, your best days are ahead of you. You are more loved than you will ever know. You are not alone and this is not the end of your story.


"Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars. The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope."

[vivfox]

Shane, you can have Brandon all to yourself now that baboles has returned.

[DefDumbandBlond]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Can someone explain this to me? Did I miss the memo?

Yeah a lot of posts were deleted from this morning. I'm not going to bring up the details about it, it's gone from view and that's where it honestly needs to stay.

Bee, don't say or think it was your fault because some moronic tw*t had to come in stirring up things, don't take responsibility for that at all.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by DefDumbandBlond

Yeah a lot of posts were deleted from this morning. I'm not going to bring up the details about it, it's gone from view and that's where it honestly needs to stay.

Bee, don't say or think it was your fault because some moronic tw*t had to come in stirring up things, don't take responsibility for that at all.

When I used to live on The Ledge 24/7(before Facebook!), I'd always copy and save stuff, when the sh*t would hit the fan, because you KNEW it was all gonna be deleted!

[DefDumbandBlond]

Oh yeah, there's been some c&p'ing in the past. Unfortunately this wasn't the entertaining kind of sh*t hitting the fan.

[Enchanted_Stevi]

Hmmmm, seems like no one really cares if I post or not since no one ressponds to me anymore....

JTIS