Why do women(& some men) like thugs so much?

[vivfox]

1.track star Says:
September 29th, 2009 at 9:52 pm

Why do a lot of women like thugs so much ?
You have probably seen them- the nice looking, decent young women at the grocery store or at the movies holding hands with a “bad boy”, or thug. This is a huge phenomenon today, across all social groups. However, it is especially common with Black Women.

Just today, while at work, I spotted a gorgeous black woman, about 25 years old, butter pecan skin, conservative and professional looking, wearing a business suit. Her companion was a thug/ bad boy who fit the image perfectly. The two were a complete mismatch, and actually looked strange together. I am seeing this kind of “couple” on an almost daily basis.

This is largely an offshoot of Hip Hop culture. Once again, Hip Hop is influencing the wider culture. Everywhere you look, you see the thug image reinforced as the popular “in” thing. It has even been institutionalized- reinforced by mainstream institutions (The Grammys, by the Academy Awards, major movies, Politicians, the NAACP, professional sports, major magazines, etc etc etc). This image is glorified all throughout Pop culture today.

Just look at the minority female celebrities who have had thugs & rappers for boyfriends. Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, actress Valeisha Butterfield, Janet Jackson, Vivica A. Fox, and the list goes on and on- all either have or had these men for boyfriends. Of course, upon seeing this, young women in the wider society want to emulate these so-called Stars. Beyonce even went as far as turning the “Thug” into an icon, giving it her official stamp of approval in the Destiny’s Child song “Soldier”- a tribute to, and anthem for the Bad Boy. No I am not a fan of her music…. I happened to hear the song on the radio one afternoon and I remember being disgusted by it. (this is largely why I pretty much stick to Public radio…urban commercial radio is brainless, useless and has, for all practical purposes, gone to crap). Her voice makes me cringe. But it’s basically a given that most of the young female R&B (Rhythm and Bulls–t) Stars of today have rappers, thugs, etc as boyfriends. And it’s not just the “in” thing. Thuggery has been embraced by the entire culture. If it were just a momentary trend, it would have played itself out a long time ago.

Now we have a situation where the “thug” has become the ideal mate for most young women… from teens to about age 30. At least that seems to be the case for women in urban communities…Black women in particular. This is why someone like myself is dateless. This issue has actually defined my relationship with Black women. The short version- I have a hard time finding one that I can even date, since I don’t fit their picture of “a man”. I avoid (like the plague) those who date these kinds of men, because I have nothing in common with these ladies. And it seems that “most“ young Black women are going for these kinds of guys (and many White, Latin and Asian women too who are a part of urban culture…can‘t exactly leave them out. But this is really prominent with Black women).

For some reason, a guy with a steady job, own place, good future, college grad, etc is just not attractive to many of these women. It has something to do with the Drama factor…. They must have negative excitement in their lives in order for life to be interesting. It’s as if they have to be entertained, even if it’s at their own expense and a risk to their well being.

But what is it about these mmmme….. (little boys) that makes women so attracted to them? I have read that it’s the fact that these guys are so strong and tough and they could protect a woman, yada yada, yada!!!! As if a decent guy could not do the same. That is some really ignorant primitive stuff… but I understand that this is largely the truth. Documentaries that I have seen support this idea…Science backs it up. Women ARE naturally attracted to meatheads. It’s a case of natural selection. But this kind of primitive response was built into women for survival during the era of Cave men… before the rise of civilized societies. We are supposed to be civilized now. These kinds of characteristics really should not apply today. How is the thug, bad boy, dirt bag, criminal boyfriend going to protect these women if he’s locked in prison, for the kinds of behaviors that women are attracted to????? How ironic. It seems to me that a man can better protect a woman using his brain… one example is making a family, keeping a job, staying OUT OF TROUBLE rather than staying in trouble….so that he can be there and support her and the children, if that is the case. He can protect her by staying away from areas or situations that might bring trouble.

Again, what is it about s–thead guys that attracts so much positive attention from women? Is it the idea that a gunfight could erupt at any moment? Is it the idea that she (and her children) could be caught in the crossfire of a gang shooting? Is it the idea that the house could be raided by police, putting her and the children in danger? Is it the idea that she co

2.kim14electra Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 2:54 am
I don’t feel like reading all this but I can tell you that I don’t like thugs.
References :

3.arynda Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 2:56 am
The impression that I get from other women is that if a guy is not a thug or at least emulating thug life, he is a punk. The idea that most women have is that they need a thug to protect them which in my opinion is rather stupid because if you are with a thug bad things are more likely to happen. If you’re with a nice guy those things are less likely to happen. That is not a point of view I agree with but that is what I’ve heard.

I personally don’t like thugs either. I like em responsible and nerdy, but maybe that’s because I’m a teacher.
References :

4.78%sarcastic♥ Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 2:58 am
Well not all Black girsl like thugs( I don’t) but all I can tell you is they like the Bad Boys I mean not just Black women in general have always had that thing for the bad boys. You know the rebel the excitment lol.
References :

5.ManUnitedFan Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 3:00 am
Because Thugs like Thugs.
References :

6.nunya bzns Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 3:02 am
its not only black women, u see white women with black thugs and Latinos 2. i don’t know y. im not attracted to people like that. some people think its a thrill to see their thug boyfriends get into trouble or just taste the other side i guess

http://socialtik.com/celebrities/jan...ack-for-a-year

[TrueFaith77]

Cuz they're hot, fit, and got back. duh.

[vivfox]

I love thugs! For many reasons. I am attracted to their masculinity. I love tattoo's on their arms and the side of the neck. I love hip hop music and a sexy thug just falls right into the feeling that rap music creates for me.
I don't like their criminal behavior, just their swag.

Like Stevie once said, "one for the way you walk, one for the way you love me."

[Ghost_Tracker]

Well, I hope this doesn't come across as chauvanist or
something, 'cause I'm not a chauvanist; but I've
always felt that it's because many women are operating
under the false delusion that someone like that is going
to be able to "protect" them. Seems to me - and granted
I'm generalizing and stereotyping - that they're "the first
to jump ship" when the going gets tough. But then, I'm
sure there's plenty of "tough guys" that also have 'hearts
of gold' etc. It just seems to me though that many women
tend to be turned on by all the wrong things - the whole
"I'm sure you're a nice guy" thing that destroys so many
could-have-been-great relationships. But also, there's
the whole "the guys you F. and the guy you marry" thing -
thing is, though, guys are equally guilty of that. So I guess it
"goes both ways" - why is there a stereotype that young guys
are only interested in dating "bimbo" supermodels with 80
I.Q.'s? BLONDE ones, naturally! . . . .
And do blondes REALLY have more fun?

I also think there's something very hard-wired in the brains of both sexes
which "isn't very nice" but is just plain true, in terms of cold hard reality -
people equate good looks and strength with health; and therefore with
a higher chance of survival in terms of their offspring.
That's "just the way it is."

[daniellaaarisen]

^^ moral of the story:

Gender issues confuse (and yet intrigue) me.

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by TrueFaith77

Cuz they're hot, fit, and got back. duh.

I got called "bubble butt" when I was in jr. high by some of the white girls. I also dated an African American girl in HS.

[LiamMcConville]

Whoever wrote this is retarded.

[jannieC]

This is a really stupid article, but the idea of it has been around forever. I believe that a majority of women base their partner choices on what they experienced as a child. I would even go so far to say that many of us are searching for dad, one way or another.

But deep down, it all begins with our own feelings of self esteem and self worth- how we want and expect (or feel we *deserve*) to be treated.

And that is my 6AM lesson of the day.

[Black_Moon]

It comes down to the whole 'I think I can change him' aspect. Women have a natural maternal instinct, even inside of relationships. We think we can make a man have a conscience, and change their ways for love.

[GODDESS6]

i am so not attracted to "thugs"~ when i think of a thug, i think of a jobless man w/ no responsiblity~ & their ass hanging out of thier pants~

meh, yuk, not for me~

but i think jannie's right~ i have been w/ my husband for 23 years & was just realizing the past few years how much like my dad he is~ & my dad & i had a wonderful relationship, so i wasn't looking for a "daddy" per say~ it just wrked out that way~

[vivfox]

Originally Posted by GODDESS6

i am so not attracted to "thugs"~ when i think of a thug, i think of a jobless man w/ no responsiblity~ & their ass hanging out of thier pants~
meh, yuk, not for me~

I always wondered why women would NOT like this look? I LOVE that look. It does crack me up though when I see the ones with their pants so low that they have a hard time walking in them. Just a couple of inches are fine, enough to see the boxers they are sporting. Please all you sexy guys, please be wearing boxers and not briefs.

[GODDESS6]

Originally Posted by vivfox

I always wondered why women would NOT like this look? I LOVE that look. It does crack me up though when I see the ones with their pants so low that they have a hard time walking in them. Just a couple of inches are fine, enough to see the boxers they are sporting. Please all you sexy guys, please be wearing boxers and not briefs.

oh god no, i don't want to see their boxer's at least not some random guy, i like boxers & not tighty whitey's & i like my guy in levi's so you can see his cute butt, not their smelly boxers showing, i mean how can anyone think it is a fashion statement when you have the waist of your pants around your thighs & to wear them 20 sizes too big~ i am so tempted when i see this to just yank them down all they way~ it just seems no one dresses up anymore, it's all about sports jersey's even if they don't like the team~ what's up w/ grills?, i mean does anyone find those attractive?~

but if we all looked the same & dressed the same, the world would be a boring place~

[holidayroad]

I think guys would do well to dress like Lindsey Buckingham. (Yes, even the kind of outfits he wore during the Go Insane era)

[LikeAWillow]

Originally Posted by Ghost_Tracker

Well, I hope this doesn't come across as chauvanist or
something, 'cause I'm not a chauvanist; but I've
always felt that it's because many women are operating
under the false delusion that someone like that is going
to be able to "protect" them.

Hard wired instinct. We're looking for someone to provide for us and protect our families. I swoon over men with broad shoulders, but I know there's a lot more to it than personal preference.

So I guess it
"goes both ways" -

I think guys are a lot more guilty of differentiating between the girls they marry and the ones they full around with-- cue Madonna/Whore complex.

I also think there's something very hard-wired in the brains of both sexes
which "isn't very nice" but is just plain true, in terms of cold hard reality -
people equate good looks and strength with health; and therefore with
a higher chance of survival in terms of their offspring.
That's "just the way it is."

Exactly. People are programmed to be attracted to those who will give their children the best chance of survival. For women, the biological imperatives even go as far as to scent, with the men who make the most attractive genetic complements smelling the most attractive.

Originally Posted by JannieC

This is a really stupid article, but the idea of it has been around forever. I believe that a majority of women base their partner choices on what they experienced as a child. I would even go so far to say that many of us are searching for dad, one way or another.

I completely agree with this. I was actually thinking about it the other day when I realized that my "type" with men is very similar to the way my dad looks. I think it has less to do with Freud's Electra complex theory, though, and more to do with the fact that our fathers are our idea of the epitome of masculinity. They're our first and fullest idea of what it means to be male. For me, this translates into defining height as a key factor in what makes a guy-- my dad's 6'4, and I don't think it's a coincidence that I've never dated a guy under 6'1.

[golddustdrummer]

Originally Posted by jannieC

This is a really stupid article, but the idea of it has been around forever. I believe that a majority of women base their partner choices on what they experienced as a child. I would even go so far to say that many of us are searching for dad, one way or another.

I sure as hell hope not.