Your families

[SaidSomething]

Hey everyone...

My name is Jim. I got a little sad here a while ago. I will no longer debate. However, I will offer comments, thoughts...and posts. I mean nothing harsh by this it's just looking at things in a "holier" "more spiritual" "bright" light.

This was one of the first deep thoughts/memories that happened in my life that was really intense. People were really nice.

I DO follow some of you guys...and the ones I follow always make me smile.

I thought I'd bring up this post because the state of our planet is hinging on the decisions we all make. You know I believe that families come first...yes, and the little things that we take for granted. I'm pollyanna-ed out when my deodorant comes out with a new "power" or "force" or whatever ridiculous name scent. I'm that much of a geek.

My partner and I love each other so much. As we do our families.

Last year was hard because I missed a lot of work due to a kidney defect I have. It's alright just a minor bump in the road of life...We are barely making ends meet with meager cents. However, I live in a 2 family home...Tom and I have a huge, beautiful, bright 2 bedroom apartment. When he moved in I was kind of like...ok, here's this poor Irish guy from the "Irish" section of inner city Boston. For those who know Boston it's Dorchester/Southie area. He comes with his few paintings a art and a very different style than mine. I said, We're going to make this work. If you could see our place...it's amazing. It is not the Taj Mahal or Stevie's house...it's just a 2 bedroom apartment in suburbia. My few treasures were mostly willed to me from my "Nana Mac" that I lost in the spring. I have dard rich red, maroon, blue etc. Orientals and a Tiffany. Tom had some valuable (to him and now me too) paintings (originals) from a local artist. So it's kind of like BRIGHT came crashing into my dark muted colors. You know what? Like our relationship...our "things" mashed perfectly together. Much like it was a plan or a blessing...OR...something that was destined to be.

Today we've been together 5 years...and we haven't killed each other Ha ha. I remember when we met I had a bout with this and we lived on a spending budget of less then $500 for the 2 of us and we smoke!!!

If you have love, appreciation and acceptance...you can make it and make it and make it...If you believe you can.

So now while we are both out of work until March...it's sorta going back to the velvet underground. Hamburger, tuna, cheese, ground coffee, creamer, canned veggies...you get my drift?

And this year as I said I'm missing my grandmother that died in my arms on Palm Sunday...but, I don't go mental grieving...she worked very hard for almost 95 years...and I would never deprive her from the heaven she so firmly believed in. If I was soooo down I truly believe she would spiritually hang around here in misery.

...just a quick little story...my grandmother the night before she died...was having full conversations with her past brothers, Joe and Herbie...and kept singing...like I believe...that their was a Choir of Angels awaiting her...for that she believed...on my 1st birthday after her death in July, Tom and I went to a little getaway on an ocean up in Maine. One night I had a dream (I, all my life wake up at the time of my birth on my birthdays...4:01 am) that Nana and I were both laughing and flying over the vast ocean and waves looking down and seeing tiny dots but great detail of the sky and the clouds and the land and the ocean. There were no words exchanged...she was holding my hand. I was SO happy and pain free...then again, I snapped awake like I landed on my bed kind of waking up. 4:01 am. My grandmother raised me since infant due to family politics. I could smell her home, the soap, the dried flowers around the house sewed into ripped panty hose things (her own pot pourri) and her clean light (perfumey?) scent. It was morning twilight...I felt her presence...and true love never dies.

We are ALWAYS going to be ok. Belive, Trust and Love...just do the best you can. And watch for the miracles.

Love you...
Jim

Hey, I really swear and dont change or shave on the weekends...I bitch sometimes...I'm NOT a saint or Pollyanna...far from but...I have bits and pieces and glimpses on how to make it...and you know what? I'm great!!!