Perhaps I'm Just Not Shallow and Vapid Enough

[vivfox]

Back in 1979 when I worked in a grocery store as a bagger I was always getting in trouble for being too talkative to the cashiers. One particular cashier would always complain to the bosses that I talked too much to her. I'm sure it's because she wasn't sexually attracted to me. People are like that. I'm ugly you see, and most people treat me like dog meat when they speak to me. One of my brothers is very handsome and he didn't have to say a word, yet women would fall at his feet in admiration. One girl once said to me, "can I ask you a question?" I said "sure," and she said, "you're brother is so georgeous. What in the hell ever happened to you?" This was said to me in 1980 and I still remember the sting like it was yesterday. That really hurt.
The worst part for me as a gay man is the horrible treatment I get from other gays. They treat me worse than everyone else. In most cases when I hit on guys they usually ask me for money to have sex with them. Luckily for me I have a very loving family and some very loving friends.And my belief in God. Without that support system I might have killed myself a long time ago.
Imagine what it would feel like to you if no one ever asked you out on a date? In the last ten years only three people have hit on me. How pathetic. Welcome to my life. No wonder I'm on the computer all day-I feel like a person with leprosy.
I"m sorry, I know this sounds totally pathetic. I just wanted all you beautiful people to know how deeply sad it is to be an ugly person in a world obsessed with beauty.