LB Says FM: With or Without Sheryl

[GoldDustOrphan]

First choice: Rick Rubin, followed by Brian Eno, Linda Perry, Nigel Godrich, Scott Litt, Brendan O'Brien, Steve Lillywhite, Don Was and Ken Caillat, not because of nostalgia, but he did just produce a platinum album for his daughter Colbie Caillat, whose song "Bubbly" is a massive top 10 hit. Of course, Richard Dashut would have to be there.

Just for fun studio-hijinks, Swedish hitmaker Martin Karl "Max Martin" Sandberg who was also ASCAP's Songwriter of the Year for three years in a row, 1999 - 2001. He wrote & produced all the massive hits for Britney Spears (Hit Me Baby One More Time), Backstreet Boys (I Want it That Way) and N'SYNC (Tearing Up My Heart), before readjusting his sound to write & produce solid commercial pop rock smashes for Kelly Clarkson - Since You Been Gone & Behind These Hazel Eyes. The he salvaged Pink's last CD with two unexpected top ten hits, U+R Your Hand and Who Knew (a song I actually loved) and he co-wrote Daughtry's new hit single, Feels Like Tonight.

Could you imagine him in the studio with LB? It would be like a bad French farce, with lots of slamming doors, odd-balls sound-effects and two grimaced leads prone to awkward physical comedy that can't understand each other. Stevie would just sit and watch - copy of Cat Fancy in one hand, sugar-free Red Bull in the other - maintaining a permanent, detached grin, not because LB has to endure suggestions from the "architect" of Britney/Backstreet/N'SYNC, but because she knows Martin can probably craft a contemporary pop/rock hit (with a big, money-shot chorus) using something from her demo vault.

p.s. I do not want Sheryl Crow to touch a single knob on that soundboard. To be safe, I don't want her to each touch the doorknob to the studio. To be nice, FM can let her think she's singing guest harmony on a track or two, but then they can just overdub Stevie or Sharon's voice. Crow won't even notice. She can open for FM on a big tour and perhaps join them on-stage for Don't Stop and maybe World Turning if she behaves herself. Sheryl Crow......Doesn't Stevie have any really cool rock diva friends her own age? Can't she hang out with that nice Ann Wilson? Or even that lovely Benatar girl from down the street? Debbie Harry would be a bad influence and it's impossible to get Linda Rondstat off ebay, but Annie Lennox was just dropped from her label and I wouldn't mind hearing her sing Songbird....