I've been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder

[Mad4stevie]

David:

My thoughts are with you as you begin this journey.

A little over two years ago, I left the man I thought I was going to marry because of his extreme bipolar mania. I lived with him two years before I left. He was the most intelligent, creative, athletic and gorgeous man that I had ever met. He had an incredible singing voice, and played the cello. However, leaving him was the hardest and most difficult thing that I have ever had to do. That period of my life was the most exhausting and anxiety producing time that I have ever experienced. Living in that situation was so distressing for me that I became extremely depressed myself and had to get treatment for my own situation. All that being said, I learned many things about myself that I don't know if I would have ever discovered if I had not went through that period.

There are no "textbook" bipolar symptoms. Not everyone experiences the same thing - some people are rapid cyclying and other's mood swings last for months at a time. There is also Bipolar I, which is where the moods swing drastically and Bipolar II, where the moods swing, but not that severely. My ex was Bipolar I and also an alcoholic. It is very common for most bipolar individuals to have substance abuse problems. That makes it even harder to diagnose the disease, because the person needs to be clean and sober for a period of time to truly get a good picture of what is going on in their life.

It does take awhile to get the right med combination and to learn to manage the disorder by avoiding "triggers" and by doing the best you can to have a healthy lifestyle. However, it absolutely is possible to achieve a balance in your life and to manage this situation instead of letting it manage you.

My ex had a very severe manic episode after hurricane Katrina, and because he works in crisis managment research (of all things), he went down South after the hurricane. He never made it. He spent three weeks holed up at the Westin in Atlanta, partied 24/7, charged up nearly $30,000 on his credit cards, including "renting" escorts, rode around in limos, went shopping, and generally was completely unaware of the consequences of his behavior. In fact, I literally had no idea if he was alive because no one knew where he was. It got to the point where I was praying that he would get arrested, so that at least someone would have control over him.

After he maxed out his cards, he ended up bringing a homeless man (yes, HOMELESS) back to PA with him. Talk about a frightening situation. Eventually, he entered rehab for his alcohol addiction, but they just "dried him out" and never gave him the necessary meds. By the time he returned from rehab I was gone. I still remained his friend, and when he fell off the wagon (which was inevitable because he wasn't on any meds), he called me. He was in extreme distress, drinking and extremely depressed. I tried to get him to go to the hospital but he refused. After three days of threatening to "end it all", I found a loaded gun in his house and called the crisis intervention unit for our county. He was involuntarily committed (just like Britany Spears) for five days, duing which time he got the right meds and was set up with an excellent counselor. He has since told me that if I hadn't had him committed, he likely would have killed himself.

Over the next year, he did get better with good meds and therapy. He continues to manage it day by day, and is aware of people, places and things that can trigger mania or depression.

I do hope that things work out well for you because it is absolutely a treatable situation. Try to surround yourself with people who are educated about this illness so they can assist if need be. Obviously, trust plays a huge role in this. You are doing the right thing by talking about this.