D.i.v.o.r.c.e.....

[Livia]

Hang in there, Pip.

[HejiraNYC]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

Well thats kind of an unfair thing to say. Parents have their reasons for doing things. Pip cant stay with her husband, she has said so...well, maybe her husband cant stay with her either. He's got to go off and do his own thing. He cant just stay with her because of the kids--thats not the right thing to do either. I'm not justifying what he's doing...it WILL hurt the kids, but Pip can deal with it. She's said so herself. It's her kids that wont understand until they get older, and they can take their parents off that God-like-pedestal we all put them on, and realize they are human beings too...and make mistakes.

What utter bollocks! If he has gone down the road of taking on the responsibility of having children, then his so-called right to "go off and do his own thing" has been rescinded FOREVER. His kids should be his main responsibility for the rest of his life, period. And this means he had no business sticking his willy in some low-rent international floozy and creating all of this disruption in the lives of his children. Of course Pip can deal with it; it's not like she has any other choice since she is the only one in that marriage taking her responsibilities as a parent seriously! I hardly consider his sneaking around on the side merely a "mistake." That is, unless being born a self-centered charlatan asshole can be considered a "mistake."

Hang in there, Pip.

[SuzeQuze]

Pip, you deserve better. Good for you for getting out of that, it takes a lot of strength. So sorry you are going through it. And I'm sorry for your kids and poor Rhiannon, her dad should never tell her to keep a secret from you, shame on him!

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

What utter bollocks! If he has gone down the road of taking on the responsibility of having children, then his so-called right to "go off and do his own thing" has been rescinded FOREVER. His kids should be his main responsibility for the rest of his life, period. And this means he had no business sticking his willy in some low-rent international floozy and creating all of this disruption in the lives of his children. Of course Pip can deal with it; it's not like she has any other choice since she is the only one in that marriage taking her responsibilities as a parent seriously! I hardly consider his sneaking around on the side merely a "mistake." That is, unless being born a self-centered charlatan asshole can be considered a "mistake."

Hang in there, Pip.

well that was before Pip told me he was cheating on her. What I said applies to a "mutual" separation.

[Betsy]

Hey Pip --

I don't know you, but I have a suggestion...

If you want to vent, cuss, throw a temper tantrum -- whatever... tell us....get it all out of your system...but don't do it infront of the kids.

We can offer advice, encouragment, prayers, and join in on the cursing ...

I made the mistake (one too many times) complaining to the kids about dad's shortcomings and his moving out...and it just backfired... They began to see me as the bad guy, and began trying to please dad and before I knew it, I had to deal with Saint Dad and nothing I did was right in their eyes. I should have kept my mouth shut.

It is better to let them assess the situation themselves.

Things change and we change...and 5 years from now...this probably won't be a blimp on the radar.

Hang in there and remember there are lots of friends thinking of you.

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

What utter bollocks! If he has gone down the road of taking on the responsibility of having children, then his so-called right to "go off and do his own thing" has been rescinded FOREVER. His kids should be his main responsibility for the rest of his life, period. And this means he had no business sticking his willy in some low-rent international floozy and creating all of this disruption in the lives of his children. Of course Pip can deal with it; it's not like she has any other choice since she is the only one in that marriage taking her responsibilities as a parent seriously! I hardly consider his sneaking around on the side merely a "mistake." That is, unless being born a self-centered charlatan asshole can be considered a "mistake."

Hang in there, Pip.

I have tried to have it out with him many times about his priorities. My children are the number one priority in my life and he actually told me I need more to my life than the kids. I have plenty of other things in my life but they are my number one. Like I said earlier... he has only just started having them. He has them for one day and one night every 2 weeks. Aside from that he never contacts them. No phone calls or text messages. When he screwed up that first time having them I tried to contact him for a week saying we needed to discuss the kids and he ignored my calls and text messages. Eventually a week later he called and acted like there was nothing to talk about.

Oh and just to show what an arrogant asshole he is... about a month ago he borrowed my old mobile phone off of me. He told me his was broken and me being a mug agreed for him to borrow it. At that time I thought we were getting along ok and being amicable for the sake of the kids. She was already over here by then but I didn't know that. Can you guess what's coming next? Yep... he gave the phone to her. How he can think that's acceptable is beyond me. When I found out I demanded the phone back and he tried to argue about who had paid for the bills on it when we were together. He has always laid claim to more money in our relationship even though we had a joint account. As far as he's concerned ... he earns more. Yes he does but I work when i can and I'm at home looking after the kids.
Anyway I got the phone back and the idiot that he is assumed everything would be gone when he took out the sim card. Er... no... it's all still there. Photos of her kid.. text messages between him and her....

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Originally Posted by Betsy

Hey Pip --

I don't know you, but I have a suggestion...

If you want to vent, cuss, throw a temper tantrum -- whatever... tell us....get it all out of your system...but don't do it infront of the kids.

We can offer advice, encouragment, prayers, and join in on the cursing ...

I made the mistake (one too many times) complaining to the kids about dad's shortcomings and his moving out...and it just backfired... They began to see me as the bad guy, and began trying to please dad and before I knew it, I had to deal with Saint Dad and nothing I did was right in their eyes. I should have kept my mouth shut.

It is better to let them assess the situation themselves.

Things change and we change...and 5 years from now...this probably won't be a blimp on the radar.

Hang in there and remember there are lots of friends thinking of you.

Thanks. I have never bad mouthed him in front of the kids and I never would. This is why he makes me so cross when he does the things he does and puts them in an awkward position. He took a load of my kids DVD's to his house and then I found out it was for the other child to watch. I asked for them back. Rhiannon tried to bring them back at the weekend and he sarcastically said to her 'who paid for them' ... wanker

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by Betsy

Hey Pip --

I don't know you, but I have a suggestion...

If you want to vent, cuss, throw a temper tantrum -- whatever... tell us....get it all out of your system...but don't do it infront of the kids.

We can offer advice, encouragment, prayers, and join in on the cursing ...

I made the mistake (one too many times) complaining to the kids about dad's shortcomings and his moving out...and it just backfired... They began to see me as the bad guy, and began trying to please dad and before I knew it, I had to deal with Saint Dad and nothing I did was right in their eyes. I should have kept my mouth shut.

It is better to let them assess the situation themselves.

Things change and we change...and 5 years from now...this probably won't be a blimp on the radar.

Hang in there and remember there are lots of friends thinking of you.

Same kinda thing happened to my family. My mother raised my brother and my sister, and I. She was always home. Dad did well enough that she didnt have to work. So when she left dad for a preacher (the pastor of our church) we (for lack of a better term) just crucified her. She had just sunk so low in our eyes. And our father, who was a great man, but not around much...suddenly became the dad we always wanted him to be. We were "all he had" so he wanted to be close to us at that point. So we clutched onto him like a drowning man and a life preserver. I regret that a little now, because my mother didnt deserve that. But I'm also glad in a way, now, because my father has passed on that we got closer thru that ordeal.

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Oh and let me just add. This woman and her child arrived with nothing. The child now has a bedroom full of toys and clothes that he would have brought. My kids don't even have a bedroom at his house. They sleep in his bed when they visit. Also I'm told that he gave her his bank card and pin number so she could go shopping.

[gretchen]

Pip, I know I don't know you that well, but from seeing your posts from time to time, I believe you have the muster and fortitude to get through this. I am not even going to pretend to know what you are going through; my parents have been married for 40 years and are still very much in love. I can't even imagine the pain involved, but I wish you strength and support through this difficult time. Sending hugs across the pond.

[DrummerDeanna]

Jesus Pip. The man sounds like an ass. I can't believe the way he's treating the kids - meaning, I agree that they should be his number one priority but from what you've told us it's clear he's making this other kid a priority which is just sad. And it sends a horrible and very hurtful message to your kids. The DVD thing pissed me off!! "Who paid for them" god..what a dick Your poor daugther - this can't be easy for any of you...I can only echo the "hang in there" sentiments...

[Steviefan49]

Originally Posted by Gypsy-Rhiannon

Oh and let me just add. This woman and her child arrived with nothing. The child now has a bedroom full of toys and clothes that he would have brought. My kids don't even have a bedroom at his house. They sleep in his bed when they visit. Also I'm told that he gave her his bank card and pin number so she could go shopping.

Awww. this REALLY makes me sad Pip! When you said a "Wanker" ~ that was sorta mild for what I wanted to say! Does he not "realize" that those Children ARE his responsiblity too? I SOOOO wish you both lived in Texas, as we don't put up with this crap for a second! They start "child support" right away, and have it "Extracted" from his paychecks, so there's no way he can come up "short"! Other than on BRAINS!

[camchristo]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

well that was before Pip told me he was cheating on her. What I said applies to a "mutual" separation.

She said he had been cheating in her first post...


Pip, what a jerk. The DVD thing pisses me off too? What kind of an ass says something like that to their child. Children don't thing of ownership in terms of who paid for something. It was something he bought for them and now he decides he wants them back to give to someone else? People just amaze me. I can't believe how many people put their needs in front of those of their children.

They are lucky to have you. Stay strong and know that in the end, you'll be much better off and will probably be way happier than him. Good luck.

[bretonbanquet]

This guy sounds like a serious a$$hole. Hang in there Afterwards you'll be the one who always did the right thing, and your kids will see that, they always do

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by camchristo

She said he had been cheating in her first post...


Pip, what a jerk. The DVD thing pisses me off too? What kind of an ass says something like that to their child. Children don't thing of ownership in terms of who paid for something. It was something he bought for them and now he decides he wants them back to give to someone else? People just amaze me. I can't believe how many people put their needs in front of those of their children.

They are lucky to have you. Stay strong and know that in the end, you'll be much better off and will probably be way happier than him. Good luck.

Yes because karma's a bitch. Pip, you probably already are happier than him. How could someone like that be happy?