what's in your paste? - Page 4

JazmenFlowers · #46 10-19-2007, 03:06 PM

^^^
WORD.

lol.

danax6 · #47 10-19-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by michelle2677

Michelle26771 (2:55:17 PM): what do you think would happen if you DID sleep with him? Woiuld he leave you alone, or keep trying? I'm not suggesting you do it..i'm just askin

Whore.

DeadliestPoison · #48 10-19-2007, 03:26 PM

Quote:

My imagination.. that stops me sometimes. When you're a kid, imagination is fun and nobody tries to stop it. But when you get older, you all of a sudden use your imagination to keep you from doing things; at least for me. Like, I'll want to do something, and I'll just think, "Oh, what if," you know that thing?

Let's say, for instance, I'm out of cheese, okay? And I'll think, "Oh, but what if I go to the store and they're out of cheese?" I'd be like, "How could you be out of cheese?" And they'd be like, "What do you mean, 'How could WE be out of cheese?' You're out of cheese; people run out of cheese." Then I'd be like, "Yeah, but you're a store, you should have cheese stocked up in the back for people like me coming in, looking for cheese."

And that's when they send the manager over, who thinks he's so cool for being the manager because his picture's framed in front of the store because he's the manager, you know? And he's like, "What seems to be the problem, ma'am?" Which, to me, is so condescending, like "Little Lady," you know, and I'd be like, "The little lady's problem--" he'd be like, "Who's the little lady?" I'd be like, "Shut up and listen to me. You're out of cheese, and I want some."

And he's like, "Well, how about some cottage cheese?" Like he's going to negotiate the situation; he's a diplomat because he's the manager, you know. And I'd be like, "I don't want cottage cheese, I want cheddar cheese. Sharp cheddar cheese is what I came in for. Sharp cheddar cheese and cottage cheese are not the same thing; just because they have 'cheese' in the title doesn't make it a cheese at all. That'd be like going to a musical instrument store and saying, 'I'd like to buy a trumpet,' and they say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, we're all out of trumpets, but would you like a shoehorn?' See, that's not the same thing, is it, Mr. Manager? Thank you for the shoehorn!"

And he starts getting all nervous and everything because a crowd is forming and he starts feeling humiliated 'cause they're all sitting around mumbling, "What seems to be the problem?" "I don't know, she wants some cheese." And so he just slaps me right across the face. And so that's when Skip, the part-time guy who works there who hates the manager because he thinks he's so cool for being the manager and treats Skip like **** 'cause he's just the part-time guy, and Skip's just going to quit in the fall and go back to school, anyway; he doesn't even need the money, he's from a wealthy family; he's just doing it for the experience because his family wants him to work one summer.

So, anyway, he takes the hose and he goes to spray the manager right in the eye, right? But that's when he's leaning down to pick up the cottage cheese, so he misses him and he gets this old woman who's standing right behind him and she's there picking out an avocado, because the older you get, the less you eat, and all she wants is an avocado, so she screams out, "My eye! I've been sprayed in the eye with a produce hose!" And that's when her nephew who's visiting from Austin, Texas, who's two aisles over picking out tortilla chips because he thinks they're going to have some guacamole, but little does he know it's just one avocado. So he starts running, "I'll help you, aunt so-and-so!" And when he's running down the aisle, he slips on the water from the produce hose, breaks his leg, breaks his arm, bruises two ribs right there, gets a stitch put in his cheekbone -- just one, but still, it's a stitch.

Chaos breaks out, and it's all over Hard Copy and Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood: "LESBIAN DEMANDS CHEESE, CAUSES RIOT." And I'm like, "I didn't even want the cheese!" You know?

I transcribed a bit of one of Ellen DeGeneres' stand-up specials for a friend.

carrie721 · #49 10-19-2007, 03:35 PM

^ god bless you

i knew within two sentences what it was

i love how she says "i've been sprayed in the eye with a produce hose!"

carrie721 · #50 10-19-2007, 03:41 PM

asopdixxvopwjefawef

something in my brain just short-circuited.

JazmenFlowers · #51 10-19-2007, 03:49 PM

looks like she's flicking a booger in the first pic.

carrie721 · #52 10-19-2007, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

looks like she's flicking a booger in the first pic.

y u do dis

those shoes tho? and that suit?

women. in. suits.

can't. get. enough.

Sarah · #53 10-19-2007, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

looks like she's flicking a booger in the first pic.

lol, no, she looks like she's playing the cheerio game.

safety!

JazmenFlowers · #54 10-19-2007, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrie721

those shoes tho?

u cote me starin.

carrie721 · #55 10-19-2007, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

u cote me starin.

i only wish it were a one-button jacket instead of a two-button.

danax6 · #56 10-19-2007, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

looks like she's flicking a booger in the first pic.

Bant!

michelle2677 · #57 03-20-2008, 10:05 PM

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Miss Vicky · #58 03-20-2008, 10:54 PM

As far as animated flix go, I look forward to them about as much as I look forward to getting my teeth pulled.

LiamMcConville · #59 03-20-2008, 10:59 PM

intitle:"index.of" (mp3) SEARCHHERE -html -htm -php -asp -cf -jsp

LOL. I just used it, and it worked. THANKS SARAH!

Sarah · #60 03-21-2008, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiamMcConville

intitle:"index.of" (mp3) SEARCHHERE -html -htm -php -asp -cf -jsp

LOL. I just used it, and it worked. THANKS SARAH!

no probs. there is a simpler way to do it now... check out jimmyr.com and/or g2p.org =)

and my paste says:

****.

since she obviously has money to waste, she should just ****ing mail it to me instead.