A Seriously Messed Up Situation With My Friends. Some Advice please......

[SteveMacD]

So today I am at lunch, sitting in my usual group, with one of the guys and a bunch of my aquantances. And guess what I found out? He and the other friend went to one of the aquantances houses, and stole a $100 bottle of wine out of the basement..... And DRANK IT!!!!! I mean honestly, WTF?

To be fair, though, what else would they have done with a bottle of wine? Wait, don't answer that. I'm sure I can find out on Google.

I honestly don't know if I can stand those two anymore, and it puts me in a hard place because they are in my band. But today, I thought of something, and you all tell me what you think.

I think you need to stay out of it. It's not your fight. Your bandmates don't have to be your friends, and your friends don't have to be your bandmates. It's nice when they are, but the band is more of a business relationship, not a personal one.

Also, they have become very critical toward the new singer. She is fine, and if it weren;t for me, we wouldn't have a singer. I am the head hancho of the band, and if I don't do or say something, it never get done. If I don't schedule a rehearsal, nobody else does. So it's like, I am doing all of this work to get things amazing, they're sitting on their butts doing nothing, and complaining about all sorts of crap and being rude. So this is driving me crazy as well. Our songs are amazing, and they have commented to that, but their attitude and rudeness are horrible.

So much of rock is the bad attitude. Listen, I understand where you're coming from, having been there myself. What I've learned, actually just recently, is that you can be the soccer mom "let's organize times" guy, or you could be the boss and let them know up front that they can easily be replaced and that bull**** won't be tolerated. The key there is you need to be confident in yourself to be effective in this role.

I am thinking about completely re-vamping the lineup of my band with a group of people who actually share my values, morals and principles. And yes, i want to have people that are good players, but I want GOOD people to be around. I have someone in mind for the guitar, don't know about the drums, and I am thinking about adding to my one girl singer. You all remember that girl who I said I kind of sort of liked, the one who my drummer was sort of after (God knows if he still is) and the one who I sometimes talk to online? Well, it's her.

Here's the kind of hairy part. Our school, at the beginning of October, has this talent music night kind of thing. It's an amazing thing. Last year, since we were the highest scoring act in tryouts, opened the show playing "Don't Stop". Tryouts are in about 2.5 weeks, and I can't re-vamp my band and teach them Carrie (the song we're doing) in that ammount of time, so I am sticking with the icky people for another month or so.

Do the gig with "icky people" and the next day or week announce to the school paper that you've kicked these guys out and are looking for new players. Say something like "they're good players, but I don't feel they were the right players for the direction I was wanting to take my music". It makes you look important AND it makes them look like idiots. As for the girl, NO! You are purely plutonic. Otherwise, some jackasses stealing wine will seem pretty minor.

No matter what group of people you get, you're never going to see eye-to-eye on everything. To be in a band, you have to let things slide. It's not always easy. As I said, bands are more of a business relationship. The golden rule is that if it hurts the band, they're out.

Finally, QUIT THINKING SO MUCH and worrying about what other people think! If you're confident in it, if you think your stuff is good, then keep doing it regardless. Never take the attitude that it's an honor for me to perform this for you. Always take the attitude that it's an honor for you that I'm here performing. It may sound cocky/arrogant. Whatever. Anyways, overthinking will totally screw with your performing.