A year ago today...

becca · #1 01-13-2007, 03:45 PM

my sweetheart lost his fight against esophegial cancer after a year and a half long fight. It really hit me last night that it has been a year without him. He wanted to marry and build a home together but the cancer derailed that, but he did give me so much love I still know it and this has made me stronger. His favorite Mac song was peter Green's Oh Well. I and my parents will never forget him though, we could never have said 'oh well' about him. Christine McVie's Gone Into The Sun is my touchstone to the many partings we had, with me on the tarmac waving to a window on a plane. He loves the sunshine too. I hope we will be together again, and who knows. Nobody knows.

Johnny Stew · #2 01-13-2007, 04:01 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss, Becca. I think the first anniversaries after losing someone are always the hardest. In time, it'll get a little easier, but, of course, you'll never stop loving him and missing him. He's a part of you and always will be.

JazmenFlowers · #3 01-13-2007, 04:29 PM

I too am sorry. what sweet memories you must have.

Rickypt · #4 01-13-2007, 04:34 PM

I am thinking of you...and your sweetheart on this special day. The first year anniversary is really hard. Take care of yourself today and post like crazy if you need to. You have people who care right here.

becca · #5 01-13-2007, 06:01 PM

Thanks for the thoughts.

Music is really helping me today, especially old Fleetwood Mac stuff and John Denver of all things. I guess music is my drug of choice. Well, that and Pepsi when I let myself have some.

I remember telling his brother when he was first diagnosed that there was still sweet in bittersweet and it's still true. I'm thinking I should put up a webpage with photos he took and things he wrote and an audio track of his drum playing...

gldstwmn · #6 01-13-2007, 06:04 PM

Cyber hugs to you dear. I am so sorry for your loss.

sasja · #7 01-13-2007, 06:10 PM

Oh Becca. Your words brought tears to my eyes.
No words in return for you, just a cyberhug too....

Sasja

jannieC · #8 01-13-2007, 07:39 PM

I'm sorry Becca. I wish you strength and love during this very hard time.

Johnny Stew · #9 01-13-2007, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by becca

I'm thinking I should put up a webpage with photos he took and things he wrote and an audio track of his drum playing...

I think that would be a very good thing to do. Tributes like that help keep them alive in our hearts.

JazmenFlowers · #10 01-13-2007, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

I think that would be a very good thing to do. Tributes like that help keep them alive in our hearts.

I agree.

I have 2 songs my brother gave me of him playing the guitar that I listen to when I need to think of him happy and doing what he loves most instead of worrying about him at basic training.

estranged4life · #11 01-13-2007, 08:05 PM

My thoughts are with you. Be strong and keep the love you felt in your heart always.

ontheEdgeof17 · #12 01-13-2007, 09:53 PM

:::::hugs:::::

sara1998 · #13 01-14-2007, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by becca

my sweetheart lost his fight against esophegial cancer after a year and a half long fight. It really hit me last night that it has been a year without him. He wanted to marry and build a home together but the cancer derailed that, but he did give me so much love I still know it and this has made me stronger. His favorite Mac song was peter Green's Oh Well. I and my parents will never forget him though, we could never have said 'oh well' about him. Christine McVie's Gone Into The Sun is my touchstone to the many partings we had, with me on the tarmac waving to a window on a plane. He loves the sunshine too. I hope we will be together again, and who knows. Nobody knows.

Tragedy like this often does make you a stronger person, but at what price? I have become strong and wise far beyond my years from my experience. I am sending good wishes your way, and I do hope you take good care of yourself, as the first year anniversary is the hardest.

GODDESS6 · #14 01-14-2007, 12:42 PM

Bless your heart

~

becca · #15 01-14-2007, 04:23 PM

Whoo, I made it through the anniversary. I had no idea I would be effected so much by it! Thank you all for the support! The winter weather has been really nasty lately too which hasn't helped and I know a lot of people are going through the same kinds of weather. Bear hugs back to you all...