E-mail, voicemail etiquette - Page 2

markolas · #16 12-15-2006, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

Does your type of Buddhism teach non attachment to the results of your efforts? I have been reading a lot about that lately. Because you can't control what happens anyway as far as results, only your own efforts.

It teaches equanimity (I'm not sure if that's the same thing, exactly), but it comes gradually and is not something that is consciously cultivated. If that makes sense.

Quote:

The good thing is, you aren't exactly hounding the people. I would say try not to get irritated, but still try to reach them intermittently, and also I would say don't hold the expectation of a response in your head. Then you'll be so excited and suprised when they do finally write you back!

I think part of the problem is that I don't have anything else to do but sit around waiting for them to e-mail or call me back. I've been in this apartment for 2 weeks, and I still don't have all my furniture here, and it's very unnerving. I'll be a little more relaxed once it's here (I've scheduled the movers for tomorrow at 8am). And also, I really don't have any friends outside of my relationship, and that's frustrating as well. I need to be able to hang out with people besides my bf.

PsychCat · #17 12-15-2006, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

Does your type of Buddhism teach non attachment to the results of your efforts? I have been reading a lot about that lately. Because you can't control what happens anyway as far as results, only your own efforts.

The good thing is, you aren't exactly hounding the people. I would say try not to get irritated, but still try to reach them intermittently, and also I would say don't hold the expectation of a response in your head. Then you'll be so excited and suprised when they do finally write you back!

Good luck.

I was thinking this same principle and you beat me to it.

Sounds like this is one of those times to truly practice Buddhism... that disappointment arises when we do have an attachment to an outcome.
I totally agree with what you've done.... sounded tactful and honest. With that, I'd let it go and practice releasing any ideas of control over whomever and whatever.
Sounds like you're heading that way.

markolas · #18 12-17-2006, 01:29 PM

A little update, for anyone who's interested...

I got an e-mail back from the minister. I was so concerned that he was going to be ticked off at me, but he was actually very apologetic and offered some much-needed advice/consolation.

I'm going to continue with my current practice (Nichiren Shu, for anyone who knows what that is), but see about reconnecting with the local Zen meditation center so that I'll have some local, more frequent contact with practicing Buddhists.

I also re-read the e-mail that I sent to the minister, and now think I was apologizing for and minimizing my feelings too much. I've got to try to stop doing that.

carrie721 · #19 12-17-2006, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markolas

I also re-read the e-mail that I sent to the minister, and now think I was apologizing for and minimizing my feelings too much. I've got to try to stop doing that.

i'm glad you got a response! i also have trouble with that last part - i often minimize my feelings, feeling they're invalid/unwarranted. it's a hard habit to break.

amber · #20 12-17-2006, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markolas

A little update, for anyone who's interested...

I got an e-mail back from the minister. I was so concerned that he was going to be ticked off at me, but he was actually very apologetic and offered some much-needed advice/consolation.

I'm going to continue with my current practice (Nichiren Shu, for anyone who knows what that is), but see about reconnecting with the local Zen meditation center so that I'll have some local, more frequent contact with practicing Buddhists.

I also re-read the e-mail that I sent to the minister, and now think I was apologizing for and minimizing my feelings too much. I've got to try to stop doing that.

That is great! See, no big deal. I'm glad it worked out, and I think it is a great idea to reconnect with the local center even though they practice a different type...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carrie

i'm glad you got a response! i also have trouble with that last part - i often minimize my feelings, feeling they're invalid/unwarranted. it's a hard habit to break.

Yeah, how funny that two Cancers say they do that. Well, not so much funny as astrologically predictable and kind of sad...

I'm not judging you, I do that too. And then everything you learn about the subject will tell you "If you don't think your feelings are valid, and learn to express them as such, others won't think they are valid, either". Blergh.

Anyway, smooches all 'round!

carrie721 · #21 12-17-2006, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

Yeah, how funny that two Cancers say they do that. Well, not so much funny as astrologically predictable and kind of sad...

I'm not judging you, I do that too. And then everything you learn about the subject will tell you "If you don't think your feelings are valid, and learn to express them as such, others won't think they are valid, either". Blergh.

Anyway, smooches all 'round!

mark is a cancer too? well lookie there. i still have a lot to learn about astrology but there certainly are a lot of interesting coincidences ...