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#11
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I'd f'in walk into a doorjam tonight. Then I would show up tomorrow with a black eye. They would be worried I was attacked. I would whimper that I thought someone was hiding in the bush, ready for attack, and as I began to sprint to my vehicle, I turned to see what I thought I heard - footsteps chasing me - and then I fell flat on my face...hence the black eye.
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