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  #1  
Old 11-29-2006, 09:44 AM
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Default Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair; and
Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned
but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, which only worsened
his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their misbehaved
children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
parents
when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little
in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing.
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  #2  
Old 11-30-2006, 04:47 PM
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Really? Nobody? I thought sure this was perfect for us.
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  #3  
Old 11-30-2006, 04:50 PM
DrummerDeanna DrummerDeanna is offline
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I never saw it!!

Very amusing, and so true. Personal responsibility - or taking responsibility for anything just doesn't happen anymore...

And I have long wanted common sense to make a comeback....because along with it I think survival of the fittest can come back...

I think this is a very true commentary on our society....you know...I was watching an episode of LIttle House on the Prairie the other day (shut up) in which this kid was out of control so they hired him out to Pa and Pa worked the kid into the ground....I was thinking that this kid is being taught to take responsibility, work hard etc...but seriously..today Pa would have been charged with child abuse....seriously.
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Old 11-30-2006, 04:51 PM
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I like it lol. So very true... sadly.
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Old 11-30-2006, 05:52 PM
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You know that coffee was like, 4000 degrees or something? Way over what any coffee should be. The lady had 3rd degree burns, had to have skin grafts on her upper thighs and hooha, the works.

But yeah, the rest is good.
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Old 11-30-2006, 05:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amber View Post
You know that coffee was like, 4000 degrees or something? Way over what any coffee should be. The lady had 3rd degree burns, had to have skin grafts on her upper thighs and hooha, the works.

But yeah, the rest is good.
Even so - what kind of dumba$$ puts even regular coffee in her lap while driving And then says she did not know it would burn her and she, therefore, should have no responsibility whatsoever and it is all McDonald's fault. I mean I sorry that she got burned, but who da fool?
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Old 11-30-2006, 05:58 PM
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Default Terrific

Quote:
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
That's my favorite part.
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:12 PM
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  #8  
Old 11-30-2006, 07:38 PM
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I was waiting for the part that whines about supposedly not being allowed to pray in schools, or the gays or the n*****s taking over.

I wonder if the people bellowing about the 10 commandments would have no problem posting the Five Practices of Practitioners of the Lotus Sutra alongside it. I'm betting they would.
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Old 11-30-2006, 07:39 PM
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Quote:
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That's my favorite part.
Since when do schools perform abortions?
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Old 11-30-2006, 09:10 PM
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Since when do schools perform abortions?
If the D's had their way, there would be a suction hose on every $0.50 Pepsi machine in America
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Old 11-30-2006, 09:21 PM
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Exclamation Oh!

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Originally Posted by markolas View Post
Since when do schools perform abortions?
Is that what it said? Sorry, I read it as the schools couldn't inform the parents their daughter was pregnant and was contemplating abortion.

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  #12  
Old 11-30-2006, 10:07 PM
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Originally Posted by strandinthewind View Post
If the D's had their way, there would be a suction hose on every $0.50 Pepsi machine in America
Yeah. It's because Democrats hate babies. And puppies. And our mothers, and God, and apple pie. We also want to turn everyone gay and foist our San Francisco values on them.
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Old 11-30-2006, 10:10 PM
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Originally Posted by strandinthewind View Post
If the D's had their way, there would be a suction hose on every $0.50 Pepsi machine in America
Unless your teen daughter gets impregnated by a black man, or a Mexican. Because we also hate white people and have a secret agenda to turn the United States into a nation of mud people.
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  #14  
Old 11-30-2006, 10:10 PM
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Yeah. It's because Democrats hate babies. And puppies. And our mothers, and God, and apple pie. We also want to turn everyone gay and foist our San Francisco values on them.
Well apple pie does have way too much fat and is loaded with every kind of bad carb I can think of
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Old 11-30-2006, 10:37 PM
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Yeah. It's because Democrats hate babies. And puppies. And our mothers, and God, and apple pie. We also want to turn everyone gay and foist our San Francisco values on them.
Yep. We want more gays and we want them to marry because that is contagious and it will tear apart hetero marriage forever ruining the institution. This is the dem agenda. We hate god, love, and breeders.
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