Nightmare Weekend - Page 3

carrie721 · #31 07-25-2006, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Messing around when your relationship is brand new (esp. for guys) is WILDLY different than goinf back to meth.

Why is it different for guys? I'm not jumping on you, I'm just curious. Is it just more accepted by guys?

I agree with you, though, comparing those situations is like comparing apples and oranges.

DavidMn · #32 07-25-2006, 07:42 PM

I've been listening to Fleetwood Mac and the Stereophonics all the last couple days to take my mind off things. It's nice to know the music is ALWAYS there when you need it.

irishgrl · #33 07-25-2006, 07:47 PM

David, madformac is right. Derek needs to get help and you need to get away from him and keep him away from you. if he senses you're weakening about your resolve, he'll use you and abuse you and continue his downward spiral.

PLEASE, dont worry about him, worry about DAVID. Get somplace quiet where you can sort out your thoughts and start healing.

DavidMn · #34 07-25-2006, 08:00 PM

Thank you everyone for the kind words of support. Like I said, I'm still trying to process all of this. Believe me, the support I recieve here is appreciated. Again, thank you. I'm going to get some rest now. At least try to get some sleep.

jannieC · #35 07-25-2006, 08:25 PM

Oh David, I am so so sorry- what a mess. Everyone is giving you top notch advice. You need to do what's best for you- not Derek. You have to take care of yourself and get yourself strong for what's ahead. You can't help him and you can't change him.

I'm so sorry you have a black eye, but I'm glad that you're okay otherwise.

strandinthewind · #36 07-25-2006, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrie721

Why is it different for guys? I'm not jumping on you, I'm just curious. Is it just more accepted by guys?

I agree with you, though, comparing those situations is like comparing apples and oranges.

Men are pigs - esp. gay ones

Seriously, of all the gay guys I know in relationships, I think I can count on one hand those who have not cheated. The same applies for straight guys.

Personally, I have never cheated and never will.

So, there's that.

carrie721 · #37 07-25-2006, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Men are pigs - esp. gay ones

Seriously, of all the gay guys I know in relationships, I think I can count on one hand those who have not cheated. The same applies for straight guys.

Personally, I have never cheated and never will.

So, there's that.

fair 'nuff.

SuzeQuze · #38 07-25-2006, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Men are pigs - esp. gay ones

Seriously, of all the gay guys I know in relationships, I think I can count on one hand those who have not cheated. The same applies for straight guys.

Personally, I have never cheated and never will.

So, there's that.

I love you, man.

I did out of desperation to try to feel better after a really bad time in my life. That feels like it was a different Sue. It was a springboard for me to do something about my life though so I would feel good most of the time instead of once in a blue moon. Thankfully that mission was accomplished.

David, don't beat yourself up over straying early in your relationship because I agree with folks here, there is no comparison. You know you could try an Al Anon meeting, they help loved ones of alcoholics but drug addiction is a different face on the same animal. Or, call your therapist to find some group for support. Talking to other people going through this would be really helpful.

I hope you're getting some rest!

strandinthewind · #39 07-25-2006, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

I love you, man.

. . . .

I am mostly brutally honest with people. I will tell them straight up, this ain't workin and I am looking elsewhere. At 39, I am not a big one night stand kind of guy anymore, though I, like most everyone, had my day in that sun.

But, back to the topic at hand and away from MOI

I think cheating is no big thing when compared to someone who is letting meth control and ruin their lives.

Livia · #40 07-25-2006, 10:31 PM

I'm so sorry to hear this, David. I concur - Derek needs help and you need to do what's best for you. He needs to understand as well that you are not "abandoning" him, and don't allow him to make you the problem.

Best of luck to you both!

gldstwmn · #41 07-25-2006, 11:25 PM

I forgot to mention David, once your swelling goes down use warm to hot compresses on your shiner to get that blood circulating and the bruises will go away quicker.

desertangel · #42 07-26-2006, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidMn

I've been talking to my therapist lately about another issue and that's that I'm terribly afraid of being alone ever since my great aunt died 2 years ago. SO that factors into things too. HOw lovely, my crazy F***ED up life.

That's tough... I wondered about something like that... afraid of being alone. Gawd, I'm really sorry you're going thru this. I really can relate. That was me many years ago. I wish you success in breaking this pattern. It is possible. The more time you spend alone and feeling lonely the easier it gets and pretty soon you don't feel lonely any more. You may even end up like me... prefering to be alone. Well now wait, I guess I wouldn't wish that on you either. Please take care of yourself and trust your gut on this one, not those arguing little "voices" in your head.

GarboSpeaks! · #43 07-26-2006, 01:56 AM

Dude, so sorry to hear this. I had a bender a few weeks ago, and I was acting like a complete ASS! Thank God, I was at home, but I put my husband thru the ringer...eventually passing out between the bathroom and closet. No joke. Took a good 4 days to clear that crap out of my system. But I am 34, and TOO OLD FOR THAT CRAP! If I had been out in public, OMG, I fear to think what kind of STOOPID stuff I could have/WOULD have done!
The fact that hubby didn't drop me off on a deserted road says a lot about him, but I was only drinking, and well, I just got stoopid. Someone that repeatedly effs up your trust factor HAS GOT TO GO! I agree it's easier said than done, but that person needs to realize THEY need to pick up their own slack, not someone else for them!
Not only is it dangerous for them, but could get your butt in a load of trouble..if he's being promiscuous, (which I pray is NOT the case, but how do you know?) you need to think about that, and plain and simple, anyone that keeps going back to it, WHEN THEY ARE IN A GOOD THING (i.e you...but not LITERALLY...bwahahah...i just kept making that worse) isn't worth your time. If they haven't woken up and smelled reality/future, they aren't gonna. Take some time, cry a lot if need be. Beat an innocent pillow merciless, whatever you have to do, but man, get out while you can!

amber · #44 07-26-2006, 04:12 AM

I was up late as usual, and watching an encore presentation of Oprah. It was about crystal meth. They had the religious soccer mom addict, the beautiful middle class teen girl addicts, and the (previously) wealthy gay addict.

Anyway, there is a website - crystalmeth.org - that the gay guy mentioned, I guess it has places where you can go to meetings, and people who have recovered that can sponsor you and stuff? I didn't look at the site, but I thought I'd pass it on.
What a scourge on humanity. The gay guy was really pissed off that after the gay community lost so many in the 80's and 90's, and are now presented with the same lesson but are going to lose so many more because of bug chasing and barebacking with billions of people per night while on meth.

Now he works to help others get off it and goes to meetings every day.

Street Angel · #45 07-26-2006, 04:32 AM

Just wanted to say I'm very sorry to hear that, David. There has been so much good advice so far by other Ledgies that I suppose I don't have much new to add. Nevertheless I wanted to send you some kind of "You're not alone" message and some "mental support" with this post.